You Ought To Be In Pictures

I don't own Calvin and Hobbes, the title is from a Looney Tunes cartoon.

Chapter One- Got a Groovy Thing Going, Baby!

In a sure sign of poor judgment, Calvin's mother had brought her son along to the mall. Perhaps she'd thought that Calvin was finally calming down. Naturally, Calvin was proving her hopes to be dismal failures.

Fortunately, his hyperactivity was finally going to pay off. Just as the Calvin and his legal guardian walked by the toy store, Calvin jumped into the air. "Look, mom, look! Can I get the Martian Skymaster action figure with detachable eyeball shooting action and disgusting snot throwing darts?" the six-year-old begged.

"Well, Calvin-" Calvin's mother began, a concerned look filling her face. Suddenly, though, a fat man in a loud, green suit walked over.

"Hello, hello, hello, ma'am and son. I'm Tricky McTrickster, the top agent in advertisements involving children, and your son has exactly what we're looking for!" The fat man gleefully proclaimed.

Calvin was incredibly shocked, as was his mother. Hobbes walked up from roaming through the new "Simply Tuna" store to see the two shocked faces.

"Whatever, ma'am, just have your son show up tomorrow at this address, and we'll make him a star!" Tricky finished as he walked away.

Calvin's mother didn't say anything, but simply drove Calvin and Hobbes home. Calvin and Hobbes went up to their room to build with Tinkertoys while Calvin's mom worked on getting dinner ready.

"Wow, Hobbes, can you believe it? I'll be a star!" Calvin smiled as he fit spokes into a circular piece of plastic.

"Hopefully it won't go to your head." The tiger replied as he reached for another rod to complete another part of the giant tiger he was building.

"It won't, of course." Calvin countered with a smile just as his latest project collapsed. "Not again!" Calvin injected as Hobbes discreetly snuck a few pieces that were once on the bottom of Calvin's structure onto his own.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Calvin's father burst through the door. "Good afternoon, my dear!" His voice nearly sang. "My client won the case!"

"That's great!" Calvin's mother smiled. "Calvin and I ran into some guy in advertising, and he wants to make Calvin the next Culkin!"

In the offices of Tricky and Ricky, however, an underpaid and overworked script writer worked on hammering out the first script of Calvin's glamorous career.

Announcer: Introducing... the Sugar Bomb Kid!

Kid: Hey, I'm _______, and I love to eat Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs!

Announcer: That's right! This bright young kid just LOVES his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! Buy yours today!

It was a nightmare, really. Nobody had met this hip, new piece of talent before, Tricky had just picked him up in the middle of the mall. However, this was a job, and a job had to be done to get a paycheck. C'est la vie.

The next day, Calvin's parents drove Calvin up. Calvin brought Hobbes, naturally.

"Good morning, good morning, good morning!" Tricky exclaimed as his new star walked in with his family. Tricky's secretary handed Calvin the script. "So, kid, are you ready to start shooting?"

"Let's roll." Calvin demanded, unable to contain his elation at the situation.

Take One

Announcer: Introducing... the Sugar Bomb Kid!

Kid: Hey, I'm Calvin, and I... LINE!

Take Two

Announcer: Introducing... the Sugar Bomb Kid!

Kid: Hey, I'm Calvin, and I just love to eat people!

Take Three

Announcer: Introducing... the Sugar Bomb Kid!

Kid: Hey, I'm Calvin, and I just love A CLOBBERED CHOOFS MUGS TAROTS!

Announcer: Kid...

Calvin: I used all the letters.

Take Four

Announcer: Introducing... the Sugar Bomb Kid!

Kid: Hey, I'm Calvin, and I love to eat Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs!

Announcer: That's right! This bright young kid just LOVES his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! Buy yours today!

After four takes, Calvin had successfully filmed his first commercial.

"What's next?" Calvin inquired as he sat on the luxurious chair that he'd been provided.

"We wait for a reaction!" Tricky smiled.

"Okay. How long will it take?" Calvin asked, standing so that his nose was on the desk. "Do we have them now?"

"We'll call you." Tricky responded.

The next few days were not pleasant for Calvin. The beanie had been bad enough- a potential big break for him drove everybody around him insane to the point that Ms. Wormwood had called an extended recess for the afternoon, skipping two movies on the American Revolution.

Finally, as Calvin bolted through the front door after the bus driver skipped the fifteen stops before his to get rid of him, Calvin's mother announced that the commercial was a success.

Not only that, Calvin was informed, but they'd gotten a request from a studio in Hollywood to fly out that night, which would be Friday night, and audition, then do the filming during the summer.

Needless to say, Calvin and his parents were on a plane that night, Hobbes serving as Calvin's carry-on luggage.