Innocent Angel Outtake: Fiery Reflections
It was late, nearly 11:00 pm, when Erik and Christine made their way to their respective seats in the den of Erik's house, as they had done for a number of nights now.
Their voice lesson had gone on much longer than usual that evening. Christine was exhausted from having exerted so much energy while singing. Erik, on the other hand, was inwardly reeling with excitement. Never had they had such a productive lesson. He felt more confident than ever before. Without a doubt, they'd accomplished a great deal. Soon, Christine's voice would be the epitome of excellence. Not that it hadn't always been such in Erik's opinion, but soon, very soon, others would agree with his views, if only they were to hear it.
As it was, no one besides Erik would ever hear Christine's voice…
It was going on two and a half weeks since he'd rescued her from Asheville. Yes, 'rescued' was the right term. Erik fully believed that he'd done her the ultimate favor by taking her away from it all. She'd been severely depressed there. In fact, she was still depressed, but once her voice was flawless again and she was able to feel good about herself, he knew it would disappear. Christine's sadness would vanish, as well as her disliking towards him.
He knew Christine still held a great deal of bitterness. She believed he'd kidnapped her against her will and was keeping her locked in his prison-like house. True, he hadn't necessarily done anything to disprove her feelings so far, but in due time things were going to change. Once she knew it was Erik who was helping her, who was caring for her, who was keeping her safe, and who loved her with all of his being, she would return those feelings. Tonight, due to their promising lesson, Erik believed that with his whole heart. And Christine would be happy again, like she had been when her mother was alive…
She noticed Erik's distant gaze into the fire that was burning in the fireplace. Christine couldn't help but be curious. Curiosity was probably her most unappealing feature. But, regardless, she hated feeling like she had nobody to talk to. She'd definitely felt that way when he first brought her here, but now she realized that he was somebody. There was a man behind that mask, and he had thoughts and a voice. He was also the most intelligent person Christine had ever met.
That was beside the point, though. Currently, she wanted to talk to him, so that was what she was going to do. "Um," she began sheepishly. Oh, how she detested her shy, weak personality around him.
Erik looked at her with a kind expression on the visible part of his face. "Yes, Christine?" he asked warmly.
"I was just wondering what you were thinking about." Christine blushed feeling like she'd probably stepped over some sort of line. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she added quickly.
"Not at all, I'd be more than happy to share my thoughts with you," he reassured her smoothly. Of course, there were certain things he couldn't share, such as his love for her… That presented a problem, too. Most of what he'd been thinking had to do with his feelings.
He would just have to improvise. "I was thinking about our lesson. I know I already told you how wonderful you were, but I'd like to elaborate on my point." Erik's lips curled upward. "You have surpassed the level at which I thought you'd be by now. In all honesty, you have surprised me, which rarely happens. I feel my compliments are not enough.
"If I may," he continued, pacing himself. "Will you allow me to ask a question?" She nodded slowly, her blush from his compliments fading. She looked to be unsure of opening up to him. "Is it because you are becoming happier with your voice? When you sang Pie Jesu at my piano for the first time, you hadn't been pleased. I remember you actually apologizing for singing. Are you feelings changing? Are you happy?"
Christine really hadn't given it much thought until now. She definitely remembered how she'd felt after singing for him that first time, but since then she hadn't thoroughly examined her feelings. I'm not stupid, I know I sound better than I did. But, does that mean I'm happy? It's one thing to feel better about my voice, but it's another to feel like I'm happy. Here? Like this? With only him and a cat to talk to? I can't see people, I can't even go outside. Does that make me happy? She realized her silence was becoming abnormally long. "Well, I guess I do feel better about my voice. There's definitely no way I could feel any worse than I did feel about it." Christine laughed a little but then stopped and softly continued, "But, to feel happy here… I just-.. I know I'm not as angry as I was, but that doesn't mean I'm not still hurting. I- I don't even know you, Erik."
He had to force himself not to look too crushed by her words. So she hadn't changed at all. She was still the same sad and lonely girl she had been. Damn..
Erik couldn't let himself lose faith, though! This wasn't a failure, it was merely another challenge. If he could make her feel better about her voice, then surely he could help her to feel happy here. "May I ask another question?"
She was looking down at her lap, reflecting on her pain. "Yeah."
He couldn't allow himself to get caught up in her obvious suffering. "Is there any hope that you could become happy here? You may not be able to answer that now, and that's perfectly understandable, but I would like to try to help you feel happy again, as I know you once were." She looked into his eyes then, and he held her hopeless gaze. "It's been a very long time since you have truly smiled, or laughed. If I could help you to produce a genuine laugh or smile again, I would be elated. Please let me try," Erik softly begged.
Christine felt the need to let out a heavy sigh. The air was so thick right now. His eyes were holding her in place for one thing, plus there was the intensity of what he was saying. She couldn't help but let her need for less pressure be known. "Look, can we just calm down for a second? I- I need some space."
Erik immediately moved his eyes back to the fire, releasing her from their apparent staring contest. He was willing to wait to speak again for as long as she needed.
Breathing some, Christine shivered involuntarily. Erik was very powerful. Somehow, he was always able to entrap her mind and attention. Now she needed to think. What he was saying was bringing up a question in her mind that had already been asked before. Why in the world would he want to spy on me for two years? He knows I haven't been happy because he's been watching me from afar for all that time. It makes no sense. "Why does it matter to you if I'm happy or not?"
Feeling that she still might want a somewhat light atmosphere, he simply replied, "Well, your being happy would certainly make this house feel like less of a depressing prison, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, but you've prevented that from ever happening."
"Why is that?" Erik asked using a low tone. "Is it because of the amount of time I have known you without you knowing me?" His brow furrowed. "I don't see why that has to matter so much."
She stared at him. He was crazy! "How could it not matter? I didn't know you were out there spying on me. I had no idea of your existence!"
"There was a good reason for that."
"What, because of your mask?" There was silence for a moment before Christine continued, "That mask isn't a good enough excuse for me. No person in their right mind would feel better knowing it wasn't only a man spying on them, but a masked man afraid of showing his face."
Erik felt extreme shame. She'd never made him feel that before.
Christine sighed and closed her eyes briefly, knowing her words had affected him. "What I'm trying to get at is, what if you had shown yourself to me before resorting to kidnapping me? Have you even considered the fact that I wouldn't have judged you based on your appearance? I have a heart, you know. I mean, if you think I'm such a bad person, then why would you even want to keep me here and spend time with me?"
Blinking, he assured her, "I don't think you're a bad person, Christine. I believe you're a very good person, the best person. It's just… I- I'm sorry… my face is a very sensitive subject." You know not what you say, Christine.. You would judge me, you wouldn't be able to help it. Creating a smile that was just as fake as all of Christine's had been for the past two years, Erik switched subjects by saying, "Perhaps I wasbeing too invasive." He looked at the grandfather clock. "It's late, my dear. Why don't we go on to our rooms for the night. There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow." He stood and waited for her to do the same.
She hadn't gotten anywhere. This person, this man in a mask, certainly had a lot of layers. He was able to hide his feelings, yet there were obviously many emotions to show. Christine had a feeling she would have to remember that later on…
Standing as well, she exited the den with Erik and headed upstairs.
The fire still burning, although its glow was quickly fading. Soon, there would be nothing left.
