Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.
Chapter 1
Reflections
I can't believe I believed him! I started to trust him! How could I have been so stupid!? A cold chill ran down Katara's back for the thousandth time since that day. She'd barely slept; she was so worried about Aang. He was recovering, but it had been so close, so very close. The only reason he was alive at all was because she'd had her water from the Spirit Oasis. He'd been asleep since she'd healed him outside of Ba Sing Se. That was three days ago.
If I had healed his scar... No! She wouldn't think about it. It did no one any good to dwell on the might have been's. Right now they were flying to the Eastern Air Temple. Katara didn't know enough about Aang's background to trust herself with his healing, seeing as he hadn't woken up yet. She was going to find the guru that had helped Aang learn how to control the Avatar state. She had questioned the decision a hundred times, but what other choice was there? Where else was safe enough for her to bring him in this condition, now that Ba Sing Se had fallen...
A fresh surge of hatred spread from her chest to all extremities. He'd spoken to her. He'd apologized to her. He'd shared some of his past with her. Then, before the seed of trust could bloom into anything more, he'd betrayed her and burned his only second chance. I hate you! Zuko, I hate you! She started to cry again. She tried not to in front of the others, but saved it until the night, when they were less likely to hear. The sun had set nearly an hour ago. The others had gone to bed soon after.
The Earth King slept curled up next to Basco. Sokka slept on the ground near the fire. Toph had bent her own fort. Katara lay on Appa's tail with Aang. She had barely left his side, in case he should awaken or get worse. Somehow she felt responsible for what had happened. She didn't really know why, but there was an intense guilt hovering over her and she needed to know that he would be okay. They would reach the guru soon and he would be able to help. She had faith in that, because if she didn't, there was nothing left. She lay her head to rest on her arm. When she closed her eyes she immediately fell asleep, but falling asleep wasn't her problem. It was the dream. That day plagued her every time she closed her eyes, forcing her to relive the fear, the hurt, the anger, barely escaping in time. But this time it was different.
There was a flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head in time to see the light in Aang dim. She watched in horror as he began to fall. She reacted without thought, only knowing that she HAD to catch him. When she did, he was barely breathing. He was dying in her arms. She had to get out! Iroh came then; he saved them. She would forever be grateful to him. Carrying Aang, she quickly found Appa. The others were there already. They helped her get him up. Someone yelled yip yip. She reached into the pocket of her robe for the vial of water. Uncorking it, she moved to empty the contents into her hand, but nothing happened. She shook the vial, reaching for the water with her bending. Nothing happened. Aang's breathing stopped. NO!! she cried out, nearing hysterics. The water couldn't be gone. She hadn't used it; she hadn't! And then before her eyes appeared the image of Zuko, fully formed and scar free. She stared in horrified wonderment as he reached up and felt his cheek, his eye, his ear. Then he looked into her eyes and smiled. It wasn't anything like she was expecting. There was excitement, but not triumph. There was happiness, even joy, but without arrogance or conceit. The effect of that smile was profound. She could scarcely take it in, but before the image faded she could feel the last bit of life drain from Aang and knew that he had died. She screamed, a blood-curdling, heart-wrenching, terrified scream.
"Katara!!! Katara, wake up!"
Katara jumped up so fast she would have fallen off of Appa if Sokka hadn't caught her. She started flailing about, writhing and squirming to be free of him. She still hadn't stopped screaming.
"Katara, calm down! It's me, Sokka. Katara, it's okay," he said, keeping a tight hold on her until she had calmed down a bit. "What happened; are you alright?"
"Aang. Where's Aang?" she asked. Her breath was still coming short and she was frantically looking all around her.
"He's right here. He's fine," he said, letting go of her as she dropped down beside Aang. She felt his heartbeat, his breathing, his temperature and when everything was normal, she put her head on his chest and burst into tears. Sokka sat down beside her and pulled her off of Aang and into his arms. She gratefully accepted the comfort of her brother as she cried her heart out.
"I keep seeing him fall– back in that cave. I keep seeing it. I keep reliving that moment, the fear, the panic, only this time I couldn't save him. The water– the water was gone and I couldn't heal him. Zuko was smiling and I couldn't save Aang!" She was sobbing so hard by this point that Sokka could barely understand her words. What he did hear he didn't really understand the meaning of anyway. Toph appeared on her other side and started rubbing her back in an uncharacteristic sign of affection.
"It's okay, Katara. Aang's going to be alright. You healed him and now we're bringing him to the guru. You've done well. No one could do more," she said quietly. It hurt her to see Katara like this, but she didn't want to show it.
The Earth King and Basco looked on from beside the great bison. He felt like an intruder. The moment was so intimate and he didn't really have the right to be there. It was something of an epiphany for him to come to such a conclusion. For his entire life, he'd been living in naivete. Had he not seen the betrayal of Long Feng, the treachery of th Dai Li, or the fall of his kingdom, he would never have questioned his right to be anywhere. Now he did. He turned away from the small group and headed a ways off into the forest. They would give the group some privacy for the night. It was the least they could do. "Come along Basco."
The three of them fell asleep curled up together in the warm fur of Appa's tail. Aang lay in his unending slumber next to Toph, who was holding Katara's hand. Katara had fallen asleep on her brother's chest. He'd let her hair out of her braid and was running his fingers through it. Their mother had always done that when they were young, especially when they'd been upset. He knew it would help to calm her down. He hadn't counted on it putting himself to sleep too. There were no more nightmares that night.
Katara opened her eyes to a beautiful sunrise. There were so many colors. Pinks, oranges, and purples painted the clouds as they saw fit. She hadn't seen the like in years. She felt a strange kind of peace about her. It was the peace of those who have emptied themselves of every emotion, to the point that they feel nothing anymore. She knew even as she stared into the sky that it was only temporary, that soon she would feel it all again. For now, it was good to be empty.
She looked around her and realized that Sokka and Toph had fallen asleep comforting her. She smiled even though her heart grew a little sad. She was so blessed to be surrounded by those she loved. She gently pulled Sokka's hand away from her hair and placed it on his chest as she sat up. Then she let go of Toph's hand. Slowly, she stood, so as not to wake them. Let them rest a bit longer. She moved around to Aang's other side. He didn't seem hurt. He just looked like he was sleeping. Climbing down from Appa's tail, she headed into the forest. She wanted to take a bath.
On the way to the nearest stream she spotted Basco and the Earth King.
It's so good that they have each other. I don't know how the king would have made it through all of this without Basco. They're as close as Aang and Appa. Aang...
Once again her thoughts turned to that day. She pictured him as he rose up in the face of the prince and princess of the Fire Nation, surrounded by enemies. Thinking of Zuko led her mind back to that fateful conversation.
"You're a terrible person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I don't? How dare you!? You have no idea what this war has put me through, me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me."
She could almost feel the tears that had run down her cheeks. She'd been so furious with him, but then he'd surprised her.
"I'm sorry... That's something we have in common."
He'd sounded so sincere. She had believed him. He wasn't the boy he'd been when she first saw him attacking her home in search of Aang. He actually made her rethink her judgements of him, made her regret her anger.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you before."
"It doesn't matter."
He was so free of his usual anger and enmity toward her that she actually felt the need to explain herself to him.
"It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face."
"My face. I see."
He'd reached up to his scar. As if she could judge him on that alone. Remembering that his father was displeased with him forced her to look at him in a new light. He was rejected by his family. That would be hard for anyone, let alone an heir to the Fire Nation throne. And it actually spoke for him that his family couldn't understand him, that he didn't fit into their merciless and evil ways.
"No, no. That's not what I meant."
He'd made her look at him as a person, rather than the representative of a nation that had banished and dishonored him.
"It's okay. I used to think this scar marked me: the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."
He'd sounded so human, so real. Looking back, it seemed foolish to think of him as anything else, but in the midst of all their struggles and confrontations there wasn't a time when she saw him as anything but an enemy... until that moment.
"Maybe you could be free of it."
"What?"
"I have healing abilities."
"It's a scar. It can't be healed."
"This is water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. It has special properties, so I've been saving it for something important. I don't know if it would work, but..."
She looked down at her hand. This hand... It had touched him, his scar. He'd let her. She had wanted, sincerely wanted to help him. In that moment she hadn't just considered the possibility, but had decided to do it. Then fate interceded and thank the heavens it had. He had actually hurt her by his betrayal, by his cool nonchalance during their battle.
"I thought you had changed!"
"I have changed."
Katara closed her eyes and kicked the nearest rock out of her path. Her temper was heating up again.
Why am I so angry? It shouldn't have hurt her that he'd chosen as he did. It's Zuko, Prince Zuko, son of the Fire Lord! He is still my enemy. I shouldn't be this angry. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't hurt over this. Why did he get to me... How did he manage, with just a few words, to touch my heart?
Her eyes shot wide open and she ceased all motion when the import of her thoughts finally hit her.
A/N: This is my first fanfic. I will not beg for reviews, but I have no idea whether or not this is worth continuing, so it would be really nice if you could tell me what you think. That being said, I have plenty of inspiration and a willingness to continue with the story if people like it. Hope you do! -Cassie
P.S. Thank you to morning's-broken-angel, Laura, and Cambryn, whose reviews have helped me better my work. Thank you to every one else, too. Your encouragement and compliments help me so much! Thank you.
