The Chronicles of [the other] Narnia:
Prince Casphian
Due to copyright issues, some of the original names of the characters have been altered.
also. None of the storyline here is meant to be an offense to C.' writings.
Dr. Corn: Casphian, time for school.
Casphian: It's 2:30 in the morning…
Dr. Corn: Astronomy.
Casphian: I have a better idea… Let's just google image our search for new constellations! [Big smile]
Dr. Corn: [dead stare]
Casphian: I'll be there in five minutes.
---twenty minutes later---
Dr. Corn: Casphian.
Casphian: AGH! [Jumps out of bed]
---five minutes later---
Dr. Corn: Casphian, look there. Those stars are gonna align and it will do something important. :-)
Casphian: …Such as?
Dr. Corn: Umm….
Casphian: OOOOK….
Dr. Corn: Class dismissed.
Casphian: Yay! That was a [really] long lesson :S
Dr. Corn: Yeah, sure. Oh, I found this and thought you might be interested. And since you've been such a good little boy lately…
Casphian: Woohoo! Presents!
Dr. Corn: Here ya go. [Hands Casphian a trombone]
Casphian: …What is it?
Dr. Corn: An ancient artifact of international importance.
Casphian: The constitution?
Dr. Corn: No.
Casphian: Whatta I do with it?
Dr. Corn: You will blow into that hole there, and it will summon the kings and queens of old. It will deliver us from the sheer evil and tyranny of the most horrific-ist evil villain our world has ever seen.
Casphian: The Obama administration?
Dr. Corn: Your uncle, Mirazin.
Casphian: Oh, him.
Dr. Corn: Only blow into it at your greatest need.
Casphian: OK. So if evil munchkins from the land of Oz start attacking me with cream pies and soda pop then I blow into it here?
Dr. Corn: …
Casphian: What if the Tellamarines are attacking me with spears and swords to please Mirazin?
Dr. Corn: That would be the idea.
[horn blows in distance; "Queen Prunuhprismiuh has had a son!"]
Dr. Corn: You must hurry.
Casphian: Oh my Asham! I must hurry!
[Casphian grabs a hotrod motorcycle and veers off into the darkness]
Tellamarine soldier #1: Get him! He stole my motorcycle!
Casphian: Woohoo, riding in STYLE.
[Casphian goes into the dark, spooky forest]
Tellamarine soldier #1: General Gazelle, what should we do?
Gazelle: Stop acting like superstitious old grapefruits and follow me.
[Tellamarines enter the dark, spooky forest]
Casphian: They'll never find me… Heck, I can barely even hear myself talking. [wink ;-)]
[Cannot hear anything over his motorcycle's revving]
Tellamarine soldier #1: How will we find him?
Gazelle: … … … Seriously? [listens to loud revving]
Tellamarine soldier #1: We can't hear where he's going over my motorcycle's revving!
Gazelle: [dead stare]
Tellamarine soldier #1: OOOOh…. He's on my motorcycle… [blush :-}]
Casphian: [turns on hotroddy music to channel '7 Chronicles'] *sings along* I'm one awesome Tellamarine… Oh, a text! *looks at phone*
Tree: No texting while driving. *fwacks Casphian in the head*
Casphian: OOOWW!!!
[Casphian now falls onto the ground, right next to Dumpkin and Doveyhunter and Dipabrick's house]
------------TO BE CONTINUED------------
[sorry for the sheer randomness.]
The Chronicles of [the other] Narnia:
Prince Casphian
Dumpkin: What on earth..?
Casphian: Ow…
Doveyhunter: Hurry, get him inside!
Dumpkin: *Sees tellamarines*
Dipabrick: Well let the tellamarines have him and let's get outta here!
Dumpkin: GehYEEEOAH!!! *attacks*
Gazelle: Look boys, a garden gnome!
Tellamarines: *run away*
Gazelle: Give up!
Dumpkin: Oh, you got me…
Gazelle: Haha!
Casphian: *grabs trombone, blows and blows like crazy*
Dipabrick: YEEOUCH, you need practice! *covers head with bag*
Disclaimer: Do not cover heads with bags.
HOOONNNKKK!!!
*Car chases after lucy*
Lucky: I didn't take it!!!
*car honks again*
Lucky: AGHH!!!!! *throws purse back towards car*
*person in car curses at the little girl who attempted to steal her purse*
Geeky Kid *next 2 Susin* Hello.
Susin: Hey.
Geeky Kid: I go to henden house. I seen you sitting by yourself.
Susin: Well, actually…
Geeky Kid: *kneels down* Will you do me the honor… of becoming my bride?
Susin: *eye twitches* I'm in a movie that I fall in love with a totally good looking prince so I'm currently taken at the moment.
Geeky Kid: Hrmph. Can I be your flower girl?
Susin: Errrrrrrmmmm…
Lucky: Susin!
Susin: What is it now?
Lucky: I did what you told me too…
Susin: Shh, Lu!
Lucky: I got catched L
Susin: Oh! *looks at geeky kid* We were playing a game.
Lucky: No, that's how you became a millionare at home, sending me out on life or death missions to end poverty in our family once and for all by stealing other people's fortune! *winks* But I'll keep it a secret. It's safe with me J
Geeky Kid: I take back my proposal.
Lucky: Oh, and Pete's in a mess again.
Susin: What's new?
*go into train station*
Pete: *FWAP!* Kid, you messed with the wrong person!
Kid: I'm a four-year blackbelt!
Pete: I ruled a country for 5 years, killed countless enemies, and made an ogre kneel to me.
Kid: I give!
*whistle blows*
Susin: So what was it this time?
Pete: He… he… it wasn't anything I did. I was protecting Lucky!
Lucky: I'm a secretive little pit pocket, I am!
Susin: *glares* What???
Lucky: I tried to take his lunch money. And his lunch x]
Susin: You have serious issues.
Lucky: Ow, something pinched me!
Susin: Trying to change the subject, huh?
Edmuncher: *slaps pete* YOW!
Susin: *falls downward*
Pete: *kicks himself*
Lucky: Magic is painful!!!
Susin: The train just made us go back to Narnia!
*look at a burning cauldron of death*
Lucky: This is NOT the Narnia I remember.
*voice of asham* oops, wrong island.
*train zooms to Narnia*
Lucky: AW, the Nice ocean air!
*walks out of small cave in which they were*
*tree falls from top of cave*
Edmuncher: OOOUCHHH!!! IT LANDED ON MY FEETS!!!
Lucky: Hey, there's a way to crack your toes with minimal effort! Hey….
*People in our world turn on the tv, to see Lucky appear*
Lucky: Welcome to Feet Cracker's Associated, where we focus on cracking your toes!
Option 1: The boring, hard manual finger way.
Option 2: Have your heartless siblings help you, then do something horrid to your feet. *shows smiley
face drawn in permanent marker on the bottom of their feets*
Option 3: Have Feet Cracker's Associated help you! They will drop trees, computer towers, and
bricks to offer painless measures to crack your toes.
*shows Lucky smiling *
-back in narnia:-
-----------TO BE CONTINUED-----------
Casphian: oWwWw… what happened?
Doveyhunter: We can't kill him now. That would be just wrong!
Dipabrik: Well… Then we should enslave him for the rest of eternity.
Doveyhunter: *glares*
Dipabrik: Why do you like him, anyways?
Doveyhunter: Man, if we could get him on our side, the whole fangurl fanbase will beat a path to our door. We could win the war. Who knows, the experiment might just work.
Casphian: WHAT?! *jumps out* You are subjecting me to horrible experiments of evil?!
Dipabrik: The boy's scared of girls.
Casphian: Well… fangurls. They're creepy, I tell you!!
Dipabrik: He's got a point.
Doveyhunter: Well… maybe your rugged good looks can convince the minotaurs to join in the fight against the tellamarines instead of trampling and killing you they're such good neighbors…
Capshian: I wantz my mommy
Dipabrik: Look, pretty boy, you need to man up. You are our hero
------back with the Pevensees------
Lucky: Ooh, I wonder if we can steal from the royal treasury.
Pete: Whattya mean?
Lucky: We're at cair paravel!
Susin: I thought we were supposed to have a moment of happiness and realization as we saw in the Prince Caspian movie. What you just said was totally out of the blue.
Lucky: WHO CARES?
Edmuncher: Stealing from the royal treasury would be pointless. We own the royal treasury…
Lucky: *happy face turns to a frown* Well… *brightens up* Maybe the people who were kings and queens after us added more to the treasury! Let's look!
-Pete punches the royal treasury down, and grabs Edmuncher's torch right out of his pouch-
Edmuncher: Hey! That's mine.
Pete: Well… I thought that was kinda weird… I was gonna rip my shirt to use as a torch, but when I saw you had a 2000 candle light flashlight, I decided to go 21st century.
Edmuncher: Makes sense.
-they walk in-
Lucky: *tenses up* I wonder what's in here!!! OOH!! WE'LL BE RICH, BABY!! LAS VEGAS, HERE I COME!!
Pete: Oh look, a lightswitch! *flicks*
The light switch reveals: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Lucky: Football gear? What the heck? What kinda royal treasury is this? Oh, look over there. :"}
-everyone looks-
Lucky: *eyeballs fall out of sockets* I'M RICH. Richer than I could ever imagine!!!! I'll be POPULAR!!
Pete: Guys, there might be some kinda booby trap…
-Lucky runs forward, triggering a big rock to fall down-
Lucky: OH, COME ON!! –rolls eyes, while singing the Indiana jones theme song-
Pete: Oh, snap.
Susin: *gets splatted by the rock* this might mess up my complexion.
Edmuncher: *opens mouth wide and wider* ---CHOMP!CHOMP!CHOMP!--- Guys, the rock is now officially gone. I ated it
Lucky: Look at all this loot! I'm rich! I'm so LUCKY!!
*sings* /lucky, lucky lucky! Lucky, lucky lucky!/ *stops*
Pete: Look, my shield and sword!
Susin: Someone someone stole my bow and horn…
Lucky: Aw, I thought you wouldn't notice… -passes bow-
Susin: And the horn.
Lucky: I didn't take it! Honest!
Susin: *grabs lucky by the heels, and shakes*
-tons of coins, the kid next door's lunch [ew] and tons more, but no horn falls out.-
Lucky: I toldcha so.
Susin: Okay… I wonder where it is?
Edmuncher: *eats the kid next door's lunch [ew]*
Susin: Ew?
Pete: Ew?
Lucky: Can I has some?!! :D
-----------TO BE CONTINUED-----------
Casphian: I'm a little teapot!
Doveyhunter: You have the strangest habits.
Casphian: Look, I'm not who you think I am.
Dipabrik: Actually, you're not. You're shorter than we imagined.
Casphian: That's my line!!!
Lucky: Why do you think we were brought here?
Susin: Maybe Narnia's been usurped by the prince's evil uncle, bringing the world of Narnia into ruin over thousands of years. But its just a guess.
Edmuncher: Mr. Tumnus---and the beavers--- they're all gone.
Lucky: Ah, what a shame. I hope they left something for me in their will.
Edmuncher: You ungrateful little…
Pete: I think we need to help the Narnians...Since I'm such an excellent role model, I'll lead. Let's find 'em.
Gazelle: It is not what you think.
Moraz: Then what is it? It looks menacing!!! *points at the horror*
Gazelle: THAT is my lunch.
Moraz: Then what did you want to show me?
Gazelle: This *pulls off blanket*
Moraz: What is it?
Gazelle: We're not exactly sure.
Trumpkin: Does someone need a hug?
Moraz: We can use him for world domination!!!
---in the court, later that day---
Moraz: We have found this little person breeding like cockroaches under a rock!
Trumpkin: Yeah, and cockroaches can't be sqooshed.
Moraz: *tiny pat on trumpkin's cheek* You naughty boy.
Trumpkin: *sarcastic* Ouuucch..
Moraz: The world must be rid of these vermin!
Trumpkin: GOPHERS!!!
Gazelle: AGHOUGH!!!
*everyone dashes for cover*
Moraz: Blast! He's duked us! He's getting away!
Soapespian: What was that all about?
Gazelle: He that looketh upon the gopher without killing it shall have their head cut off.
Soapespian: Brutal.
---meanwhile---
Telmarine #1: I think we're s'posed to wait for the prisoner to have us drown him, Bob.
Bob: Who cares? We'll drown him once we get out into the water!
Telmarine #1: Gosh! We don't have him in the boat yet!
Bob: GEEZ! We'll drown him once we get out into the water!!!
Telmarine #1: Why do I even try…
*the Telmarines cast off the boat into the middle of a lake*
*Trumpkin does a run and jump*
*Trumpkin jumps into the boat*
Trumpkin: Please, I have a worse death coming up. Hurry! Get on with it!
Bob: Toldcha so.
---meanwhile---
Lucky: Can I see you bow, Susin?
Susin: no way, no how.
Lucky: Aww, I thought you would've said yes so I already took it…
Susin: Lucky!!!
Lucky: Don't worry! Ed's o.k. It only skinned him! Gosh, that thing flew fast.
Susin: Good thing that the 100% accuracy rating is only for me.
Lucky: Here's your bow.
*susin puts it on*
Lucky: So, how do you shoot this thing?
Susin: How in the world?! How'd you take that?
Lucky: Oh look, a boat! *aims*
Susin: NOOO!!!
Lucky: *slow motion* III'mmm aaaa ggoonnnaaa shoootttt noooww!!!!!!
Susin: NooOoOoOoOoOoooo!!!
Pete: Who knew people could move so slow?
Edmuncher: I wish I were that slow so I could savor my food longer… *yum*
Susin: There's a dwarf in there!
Lucky: Think he'll pay us if we set him free?
Susin: Is that all you care about in life?
Lucky: No. Winning the lottery is better than a payday.
*x.x*
Telmarine #1: Yo, I caught a fish!
Bob: I caught a whale.
Susin: Drop him!!!
Bob: *cuts string to the whale that is pulling the boat to its side*
Telmarine #1: NOOO!!!
*Trumpkin falls into the water, and the Telmarines are flinged towards the horizon*
Pete: I'll save him!
Lucky: *pushes through* I'm the hero here! *jumps in*
--=-Lucky saves Trumpkin, and sets him free with her dagger-=--
Trumpkin: Drop him?! That's the best you could come up with.
Lucky: I deserve the attention here!!! You owe me… say… $3,475. Also, my insurance agent doesn't like that stunt. So… +$1,000…
Pete: We were glad to save you.
Trumpkin: You smell like lobster.
Pete: I've heard that one before *stares and lucky*
Lucky: Hey, You! Time to pay up, dwarf. I don't work for free!
Trumpkin: Is the kid serious?
Susin: You wouldn't believe it, but…
Edmuncher: Hey guys, anyone got a toothbrush? I need to brush some of my 300 teeth.
Trumpkin: What are you guys, mutants?!
