A/N: Written for the femslashtoday (Livejournal) 4th of July femslash porn battle – word prompt: wrong.
Dedicated to the beautiful Mormon Bonnie, wherever she may be… probably married with five kids by now, but still, she was such a bright, beautiful girl…
She'd now endured at least 15 solid minutes of preaching from Heather on the evils of "same-sex attraction," and how it could be avoided through bible study and prayer. Sarah had sat through all of it, wide-eyed, wondering just what it was about this girl that made her want to kiss her. The boys never lusted after Heather and only had crude, juvenile names for her. She wasn't even sure girls would think she was hot. But apparently her own body had other ideas.
"Now, there was this girl at Open Door – you know, that place I volunteer at to help all the gay, lesbian, and transgendered homeless teens? Anyway, her name was Bonny. She was just 14 and she'd been having such a hard time with her feelings, not understanding that it was a weakness on her part to allow herself to feel those things. And so I took her under my wing, so to speak, and I would guide her in prayer. Sometimes as many as a few hours a day. And finally it started to sink in. It was a glorious feeling, like I'd done something monumental, you know? She thanked me at the end, and I still keep in touch with her, making sure she's staying on track, you know? Not getting into trouble with other girls. I'm real proud of her.
"I could help you too, Sarah, if you'd let me. Was this the first time you've kissed a girl?" she asked, in reference to the event that had brought on the lecture. Sarah nodded solemnly. "Good, we've caught it early on and we can stop it before it gets too far. That was part of Bonny's problem – she'd already sinned against God in the most awful way, defiling her body in the act of… of… extreme lewdness …"
Sarah couldn't help but smile. Heather was very impassioned, and when that met her innate sense of innocence, Sarah always crumbled a little more. "Heather," she said imploringly.
Heather shut up, finally, and looked like she was holding her breath. Of course, that might have been because Sarah's hand was now resting rather far up on her thigh. She looked down at it for several seconds, the silence making the intensity of the moment almost tangible, before putting her own hand over it. Sarah expected her to push it away and continue with the lecture, but instead, she wrapped her fingers around it.
Things had progressed so easily after that… kissing, touching, removing of clothing… until Sarah found her mouth between Heather's legs. She really hadn't planned on that happening. In fact, even though she'd been aware of her feelings for girls, and most recently for Heather, she'd never thought about what it would be like to have sex with a girl.
This was when Heather finally started to speak again, outside of whispered "Sarah"s and moans that she kept trying to suppress. "This is wrong… wrong… wrong," she said, over and over again. Sarah ignored it the first few times, but it made everything so much more difficult than it already was. She finally stopped.
"I can't do this. Not with you constantly reminding me it's immoral."
"I know you can't do it," said Heather harshly, a bit out of breath, "because you're doing it wrong." She sat up and without much warning, slid a finger inside Sarah, placing her thumb on her clit, and stroking it rhythmically… and, so it seemed, expertly. When Sarah's eyes fluttered closed and she let out a whimper of pleasure, Heather removed her fingers and pushed Sarah onto her back.
She knelt before Sarah, between her legs, smiling proudly and pushed her hair back behind her ears. "I'll show you what Bonny taught me ," she said giddily, as if she were a kid, and then she went at Sarah's clit with her tongue and teeth, causing her to writhe and moan, not stopping until Sarah had cried out as she came.
Heather jumped back up beside her. "The quiet ones always make the most noise, you know. I'm so glad my parents are busy with the church tonight." She giggled. "This is why I get shipped off to reparative therapy camp every year."
Sarah furrowed her brow. The new information about Heather wasn't necessarily bad, but it was a lot to take in. She was nervous about what had just happened, and didn't particularly want Heather to start preaching again. She bit her lip and gently took Heather's hand.
"You should come to camp with me this year. It'll be fun. We could share the same cabin. Gosh, you'll love camp," she said, and continued to tell Sarah about all the things to do, the hiking and singing and praying, the crafts and activities… on and on she went. Sarah didn't interject, but simply pulled her babbling friend tighter into her arms, until Heather rested her head on Sarah's shoulder and her words finally slowed down. She put her arm over Sarah's middle, and took a deep breath.
"I think I love you," Heather said quickly, energetically… naively. Sarah could feel her smile against her bare skin. She placed her lips on the top of Heather's head for a second.
"Yeah, me too," she said, not knowing what else to say.
She had a few moments of comfortable silence, during which she almost allowed herself to believe she'd found a way to quiet Heather Tuttle, but of course that was impossible.
Heather suddenly hopped off the bed and grabbed Sarah's hand, pulling her up into a seated position. "We should pray," she said, smiling as if nothing were wrong. And she sidled down beside the bed, Sarah following but not understanding.
"Heavenly Father, we ask Thee to grant us the ability to know that we have sinned, and to give us the strength to avoid this in the future. We ask Thee to free us from our evil thoughts, and forgive us our wicked deeds," she began.
Sarah knelt beside her, hands clasped too, but she watched Heather out of the corner of her eye. She didn't think she would ever understand her. How could Heather kneel there, naked, her fingers still smelling of sex, the mouth that had done "lewd" things now asking for forgiveness? How could she?
"Sarah!" whispered Heather.
"What?" she asked, realizing that she'd quit listening to the prayer and had started to focus on Heather's breasts and thighs.
"Quit sinning!" she said with severity. "You should add something too, and say Amen."
Sarah sighed heavily and furrowed her brow. Why was Heather doing this? "Fine, um. Our Dear Father in Heaven, please bless us with the wisdom to know right from wrong–"
"I already said that."
"What else do you want me to say then?"
"We shouldn't argue during prayer. Just…" Heather rolled her eyes before closing them again. "In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
"Amen."
"We should dress and you should probably go home. Want to study for the geography test tomorrow?"
Sarah agreed and wondered – no, hoped – that what had happened this afternoon would happen again the next day, and that maybe it would make a little bit more sense to both of them. At the front door, just before it opened, she turned to Heather and moved in to kiss her.
"Sarah," Heather said with an innocent smile as she jerked her head back, "be strong. And pray tonight. I will pray for us both. We can get through this." She held out her arms, practically attacking Sarah with a hug. A very long hug. When she finally pulled away, Sarah saw it for the first time – fear. Heather was scared to death. But she swallowed it down and covered it up quickly with her trademark quirky smile, before pushing Sarah out the door and running back to her room, grabbing her well-worn Book of Mormon and spending the rest of her evening concentrating on the passages Brother Russell had told her to refer to in moments like these. She would need strength for tomorrow.
