This is a dumb little idea I had after watching Mickey's Christmas Carol. No curse words or bad stuff. Very kid friendly. I had to make up a few characters. Enjoy...
Spongebob's Christmas Carol
Based on A Christmas Caroland Mickey's Christmas Carol
It was Christmas Eve, 1906 in London Bottom. Large, fluffy snowflakes were falling from the darkening sky, and the chilly streets were bustling with townsfolk hurrying home to sit together with their families by the fire (don't ask me how that's possible, but it is). But not old Ebenezer Krabs. He was trudging back to work, glaring disdainfully at the festive crowds.
When he reached the counting house, his place of business, he used his cane to knock the snow from the sign above the door. It read Krabs and Tentacles, but Tentacles had been scratched out.
"Poor Jacob Tentacles," Krabs murmured, referring to his old partner. "Dead seven years today. He was a good 'un—robbed the widows and double-crossed the poor." He chuckled to himself. "In his will he left me enough money to pay for his tombstone. But I had him buried at sea!"
The little bell on the door jingled as he opened it.
"Cratchit!" He snapped to his clerk, who was tossing a piece of coal on the grate. "Wastin' coal again?"
"N-n-no, sir," said Spongebob Cratchit. "I was...ah... just trying to thaw out the ink."
Krabs jabbed the sponge with his cane. "Bah!" he cried. "You used a piece a coal last week. Now get back to work!"
Cratchit climbed back into his high stool. "Speaking of work, Mr. Krabs, tomorrow is...um...Christmas, and I was wondering...um...might I have the day off?"
"I suppose so," grumbled Krabs. "But I'll have to dock you half a day's pay. Now let's see..." He scratched some numbers on a piece of paper with his old quill pen. "I'll give ya two and a half shillin' s a day. That's after the raise I gave ya three years ago."
"Yes, sir," explained Cratchit, "that's when I started doing your laundry." The door banged open.
"Merry Christmas!" cried three young crabs, stamping the snow from his feet.
"And Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Krabs' nephews," said Spongebob Cratchit with a friendly nod.
"Bah, humbug," muttered Krabs. "And what brings you here, nephews?"
"We've come to-"
"invite you to-"
"Christmas dinner, Uncle," they said, handing him a wreath with a bright red bow.
"Will you be having plump scallop with sea nut dressin'?" Asked Ebenezer, tossing the wreath aside. "With sea plum puddin' and lemon sauce? And candied fruits with spice sugar cakes?"
"Yup!" The young crabs said in unison, beaming. "Will you come?"
"Are you boys on some new allergy medication?" Ebenezer Krabs cried out. "You know I can't eat that stuff. Now, get out, out, OUT!"
Spongebob Cratchit covered his ears as Krabs slammed the door behind his nephews. Seconds later, the door opened again. This time, two townsfolk, holding little collection cups, peeked timidly inside. "Alms for the poor, Mr. Krabs?" One little fish asked, dressed in rags.
"If I gave to the poor," Krabs retorted gruffly, "they'd no longer be poor, would they?"
"Well, uh..." The other fish in pleasant clothes stammered.
"Then you'd be out of a job, wouldn't ya?" Ebenezer continued. "Don't ask me to put ya out of a job, 'specially not on Christmas Eve."
"Oh, we wouldn't do that, Mr. Krabs," they replied and hurried out the door.
Mr. Krabs emptied a large bag of shiny gold coins on his desk and, smiling, began to count to himself. When he heard Spongebob Cratchit closing his books for the night, Krabs glanced up at the clock.
"That old clock is two minutes fast," he said "but never mind, Cratchit. You may leave two minutes early—but don't forget me laundry!"
"Oh, you're so kind, sir," said Spongebob, grabbing his hat and scarf. He hoisted the bulky sack over his shoulder and staggered outside.
Krabs continued stacking his money until the clock struck nine. He locked the door and tramped home through the wet snow.
As he unlatched the door to his house, he gasped in surprise at the door knocker. Before his very eyes, the brass octopus transformed into the face of his old partner. "Jacob Tentacles?" he gasped "Is that you?"
"Ebenezerrrrrr," wailed the ghostly knocker.
"No, that can't be," said Krabs. He pushed open the door and raced upstairs to his bedroom. "I must be overworked," he thought as he bolted the door and collapsed into a chair. He jumped back up when he heard a jangling noise. The ghost of Jacob Tentacles, draped in chains, appeared through the closed door, stumbling into the room.
"Ebenezerrrrrr," the ghost moaned.
"Go away," cried Krabs, cowering in his chair.
The ghost clanked towards him. "Ebeneeezer, I've come to warn you. For being mean and stingy all me life, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains forever and all eternity—maybe even longer. I'm doomed. Unless you mend your ways, Ebenezer Krabs, the same will happen to YOU!"
Krabs eyed the rusty chains with fright. "Help me, Jacob!" he begged. "Tell me what to do."
"Tonight you'll be visited by three ghosts," Squidward's ghost said holding up his two hands as a third came out of nowhere. "Do as they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine."
The ghost drifted back through the closed door and fell clanking down the stairs. The sound of chains vanished into the night.
"Gotta get some sleep." Ebenezer muttered. He threw on his night shirt and stocking cap and, before climbing under the covers, checked under the hammock with his candle. By counting coins in his head, he drifted off to sleep.
Bring! Bring! Krabs bolted up in his bed. A little one-eyed chap with two long antennas sticking out of his top hat was standing on the nightstand. He was hitting the alarm clock bell with his tiny umbrella.
"Good, you're awake." he said in a deep voice.
"Who...who are you?" Ebenezer asked, rubbing his eyes.
The tiny plankton bowed. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past." he replied, and then hopped up to the open window. "Come on, Krabs, let's go. We're going to take over your past! Mwahahahaha! Uh...I mean...visit your past."
"I'm not goin' out there!" Ebenezer protested. "I...I'll fall." But before he could say another word, Ebenezer and the ghost plankton were flying high in the dark sky over snowy rooftops. They came landing in front of a very familiar house. It was Fezzywig Tea Company.
Peeking through a brightly lit window, Krabs cried out in surprise. "Why, it's Fezzywig playing his violin! He was my very first boss, you know. And there are all my very dearest…err…friends." He eagerly peered at the merry faces he once knew, recalling times he had long forgotten. "And there I am, sitting in the corner," Krabs said quietly. "I always was a shy lad."
Suddenly, his heart jumped. "There's lovely Isabel Puff," He murmured, looking at a young Mrs. Puff with her hair tied up into a bun. "She was my first love. This was the night that she first kissed me under the mistletoe. How clearly I remember her pink silk dress and the satin ribbon in her hair." His face took on a sad look. "I wonder where my Isabel is now."
"Married to another..." replied the Ghost of Christmas Past. "And it's all your fault! Mwahahaha! Oh, sorry. Anyway, you loved your gold more than you loved her. So you lost her forever."
Krabs covered his ears. "I know, I know." He sobbed. "Please, spirit, take me home. I can't bear to watch any longer." In a flash, he was back in his bed, weeping into a pillow. "Why, oh, why?" he sniffled "Why was I so foolish?"
"FEE, FI, FO, FUM," boomed a voice. "DO I SMELL A STINGY LITTLE...SWEATY...CRAB... THINGY?"
Krabs peeked out from the drapes covering his hammock bed and was met by two enormous eyes staring back at him. They belonged to a giant chunky sea star who sat in the middle of the room. The giant, surrounded by dishes of scrumptious food, held up a slice of coral pie. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present." He said to Krabs. "Want a bite?"
Krabs had never seen so many dishes of food in one place. There were bunches of grapes, platters of roast meat, frosted cakes, and figgy puddings.
"Where did all this come from?" he asked.
"From the...uh...the heart." The huge star fish said in a dim-witted voice. "It's the Food of Generosity—something you've starved everyone from."
"Bah, humbug!" Krabs said. "Nobody's ever shone me generosity."
"You've never given them a reason to." The ghost responded. "Yet there are some who find enough warmth in their hearts—even for the likes of you."
The ghost picked him up and dropped him into his roomy pocket. With his gigantic hand, he pushed up the roof and stepped out among the lamp-lit streets. "Here we are." He said, placing Krabs down in front of small, shaggy-looking pineapple house.
"Why did you bring me to this old shack?" Krabs demanded, rubbing the frost from the porthole window. "Well, what do ya know, it's Cratchit's place." Inside, Spongebob Cratchit was helping two of his children hang popcorn on a scraggly coral tree. One was a sponge like Spongebob with long yellow hair and a red dress. And the other was a squirrel like Sandy, only he was a boy. He saw Sandy Cratchit, Spongebob's wife, place a measly portion of turkey on the table. "Surely they must have more food than that?" he said. "What's boilin' in that pot?"
"Your laundry." Answered the ghost "Hey, look, here comes Teeny Tiny Tim."
A small, pale 4-year-old sponge, leaning on a makeshift crutch, hobbled down the stairs. When he reached the last step, Spongebob picked up the tot, sat him down at the table and tucked a napkin under his chin. "Wow, Daddy," cried Teeny Tiny Tim. "Look at the wonderful dinner! We must thank Mr. Krabs."
"What's wrong with the kind lad?" Krabs whispered to the ghost.
The ghost shook his head sadly. "Much, I'm afraid. If things keep on like this, I see an empty chair where Teeny Tiny Tim sits."
Krabs shuddered. "You mean to say--" But the tubby pink star fish was gone, and Krabs was left alone in the snow. "Don't go!" he pleaded. "Tell me about Teeny Tiny Tim."
The air grew thick with a foul-smelling smoke, and Krabs began to cough. He found, to his horror, that he was no longer at Cratchit's house but in the town cemetery. A tall green ghost in a red hood floated in front of him, puffing a big cigar.
"Are you the Ghost of Christmas Future?" Krabs asked, shivering with fear. "If ya are, please tell me what happened ta' Teeny Tiny Tim."
The ghost pointed a glowing, green finger towards a freshly filled grave. The small Cratchit family stood huddled around it. Sobbing, Spongebob Cratchit hugged Tiny Tim's crutch to his chest. Before he walked away, he gently leaned it against the tombstone.
"Oh, no!" Krabs groaned, "I didn't want this to happen. Tell me this can all be changed." Behind him, Krabs heard voices. Nearby, two grave diggers were digging another grave. "I've never seen a funeral like this one," one said.
"No mourners or friends to bid the old bloke farewell. I think everybody was happy to see him go." said the other. They picked up their lanterns and shovels and strolled off for a break.
Krabs went over and peered into the deep hole. "Who...whose grave is this?" he asked. The green ghost in the cloak struck a match on the headstone and lit a new cigar.
Krabs gasped as he read the tombstone. It said R.I.P. Ebenezer Krabs. "It's me own grave!!"
The ghost laughed heartily and pulled the hood off his head. It was the Flying Dutchman. "Argh, it seems yur right, Krabs!" He slapped him on the back. Krabs lost his balance and fell into the hole.
"Help!" Screaming, he tumbled headfirst down, down into the bottomless grave. "Spirit, let me out!" he pleaded. "I'll change!" The laughter faded, and Krabs found himself back in his bed once again, thrashing wildly at his sheets.
Krabs jumped up and flung open the window. The night had finally passed and the sun was shining bright. Fresh snow sparkled in the streets, and church bells were ringing all over the town.
"It's Christmas morning!" he shouted. "The spirits gave me another chance!"
Throwing on his coat, he scampered out into the streets. The alms collectors were standing on the corner. "Somethin' for ye." Krabs said. The two townsfolk stared in amazement as Krabs dropped a handful of coins into their boxes.
"Fifty gold sovereigns!" They gasped in amazement
"What? Not enough?" Krabs asked. He laughed madly and dug into his pockets again. "Here's one hundred more!" He scuttled down the street shouting 'Merry Christmas' to everyone he passed. "Hello there, nephews," he said, running into his nephews all in a line. "I'm looking forward to that wonderful Christmas dinner."
"You mean-"
"-you're coming?"
"Really?" they asked.
"Of course," Krabs said. "Be sure to keep it pipin' hot."
"We-"
"-Will-"
"-Uncle Krabs!" They replied. "And a-"
"-Very merry-"
"-Christmas to you."
Krabs disappeared into the butchers shop and the toy store. Toting two large sacks, he hurried to the Cratchit's house and knocked on the door.
"M-m-m-Mr. Krabs?" Spongebob Cratchit stammered when he opened the door. "W-won't you come in?" Then he saw the two sacks. "More laundry, cap'n?" he asked.
Krabs stepped in. "I've had enough of this day-off stuff, me boy." Krabs shouted. "You leave me no other choice." He paused. "But to give ye—a raise."
"A raise?!" Spongebob gasped. "You mean it, sir?!"
Krabs nodded but then came to his senses. "No...I've got a better idea. I'll give ye a raise and a promotion to make you my new partner!"
He ripped open the bag and pulled out a jellyfish net. Smiling, he presented it to Tiny Tim.
"Oooh!" Tiny Tim gasped. "For me?"
"There's something for your brother and sister, too." Krabs said "In fact, the whole bag is for you three!"
The children all cheered in delight. "Thank you, sir!" They exclaimed over and over again. With a bow, Krabs handed the other bag to Sandy. "And for you, Mrs. Cratchit. Everything needed for an honest Christmas feast."
Mrs. Cratchit chuckled. "Oh, Mr Krabs, how can we ever repay ya?"
"You don't have to," Krabs said. Bending down, he picked up Tiny Tim in his arms. "And we'll take this lad to the best doctor in London Bottom. He'll be in good health in no time."
Tears filled Spongebob Cratchit's eyes. "A very Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Krabs." Tiny Tim threw his arms around Krabs' neck.
"And Neptune bless us," he piped in his soft, high-pitched voice. "Neptune bless us, every one!"
The End
