Chapter 1: A Journal Entry

' "Why doesn't he love me?"

He cannot see me here as I am now, crying my eyes out weakly while he is with her. I may as well be nothing to him now… Who am I speaking of? You might ask. Goten Son, is the man in question. He is tall dark and handsome. I grew up in his home, as I was orphaned kindly taken in by his mom when I was three. I'm 18 now, and he 20.

Who am I? You might also ask. I am Ayame Suzuki, a name I have adopted because of the unspecific manner of it. I have deep red hair, which has an odd power to shift colors with my emotions. It sounds fantastic and complex but it isn't nearly as you'd expect. It gets lighter when I am positive and darker as I get negative. When I am extremely happy it can turn brighter then Goten's hair when he's a Super, and when I am sad… As I am now, it can turn into the deepest shade of black. I don't know how it started I've always had the problem, since it can be. I am 5'11 and close to 113 kg, 36C and long legs. Most of my body weight is in muscle. My favorite part of me is eyes. They are so different than most that have brown or blues. I have amethyst purple eyes. They match perfectly with me and Goten's friend Trunks hair.

Mad rambling doesn't help me escape my problem much. You see, I've always leaned on Goten being one of the only people I saw. Gohan was much too old for me, being nothing but a father figure for me, and trunks being far too egotistical… I suppose I didn't have to fall for him, me and him both went to high school as Gohan did. It was there when I was 15 that he stole my heart. It makes it all the more painful to me that's where he broke it.

Two years ago, when we were in high school, he found love at the popular table in the form of an exchange student. She was nice enough, naïve enough, that most of the men brought her gifts and showered her with gifts. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't bad looking. Me I didn't see what the fuss was about. She was just a silly air head with average brown hair and brown eyes. She knew how to dress to impress I guess, unlike me. This is when Goten came up to me confiding in his crush on her, not able to go near her with all of the men. I relieved he was in a star struck love with her, only being able to look at her from afar as I did with him. I tried my best to put on a happy face and let him make goo goo eyes at the woman as I thought of other things. Recently, he bumped into her on the streets on his way home from walking my dog since I had pneumonia and was bed ridden. One thing lead to another and he came back to the house with her in tow.'

Her mind flashes back to the day, running her hands though her hair. She remembered her nose being so clogged she couldn't breathe and the smell of sick around her. Chicken soup in a cup next to her then cold and inedible. She was just waking up and in the middle of pulling up panties when he slammed the door on the way in.

"Hey, Nami I'm home from walking the dog you need anything?"

"No thanks." She yelled from upstairs slipping on a short white dress over black leggings, getting herself dressed as if she was ready to go out.

"I'm just going to get up. I don't care what Bulma's friend said I want some ramen and I am going to make it damn it." Apparently she was rambling to herself for he had not noticed as she walked down the stairs, growing weary of the voices from the living room.

"Oh Goten you are just so cute"

'I heard a voice. I recognized it, but couldn't quite place a finger on who it was, being she and him where graduated for two years. In the silence I made the mistake of peeking in the room to see what he was doing. Just to see him tongue deep in her mouth.'

"Oh… Oh wow!" She said after pulling away. Goten backed off and rubbed his arm bashfully.

"I… I'm sorry I shouldn't have."

"No, no… It's just. That was my first kiss." She said batting her eyes at him. Ayame knew Goten had never gotten past hand holding.

'NO. NO NO NO NON O!'

Ayame scribbled all over her bed sheets to stop the memories, He was supposed to be her man. She was going to wait for a special day and then kiss him and live happily ever after! She remembered her screaming.

"How could you do this to me!" She locked herself in her room placing all of her furniture next to the walls closing him out.

'Tonight was supposed to be a special night. I graduated. I had finally been though with school and was heading off to do great things. I was supposed to break the news to him. We sat there, Goku eating and eating and me and chichi yelling at him about him getting fat. I kept looking over my shoulders and around the restaurant biting my nails. Gohan and Videl stopped by with Pan to grab a bite as well. Gohan looked nervous when I asked about Goten, and Chi-Chi grew awkwardly quiet and that's when I started to worry. I knew Goten didn't have a phone with him; he had left it in my bedroom and took off before I could tell him. I stood up slamming my hands on the table before whipping out my phone claiming I was going to call trunks.'

She did at the time call his house, only getting Mrs. Brief on the phone. The phone had rang two or three times before Bulma picked up the phone.

"Hello, Bulma Brief speaking, this is the Brief Residence. "Hello Mrs. Brief this is Ayame can you put trunks on, it's urgent."

"Oh hello Hun! Congratulations of graduating and being accepting into the program, I put in a good word for you but honestly you were a shoe in before that! Anyways, I can't give trunks the phone."

Ayame Grumbled "Well why the hell not?" she asked.

"Tone young lady." Bulma said stubbornly before answering "He is out right now, why don't you try his cell you have his number?"

"Oh, well yeah. Thanks Mrs. Briefs." She sighed and hung up the phone leaving the restaurant and called Trunks cell almost exploding into rage when he finally answered. "Trunks for the love of god you better TELL ME WHERE THE HELL GOTEN IS!" She kicked over a trashcan before picking it right back up flustering as people started talking about her.

"Wow, uh he's here with me, were on a double date of sorts. Why what's up?"

"Oh just that he was supposed to be here with his family and me getting dinner for my graduation so I could tell him news that can't really wait. But you know that's okay." She said sarcastically into the phone. Trunks stammered on the other line.

"Oh, Nami… Jeez I'm sorry listen I'll go-"she cut him off her voice crackling "No Trunks. No you know what? Never mind, forget it. Have fun" She closed her phone and went back inside "Chi-Chi, I have to go. Goten isn't coming. I'll talk to you when you get home." She hugged Chi-Chi and then Goku and others. Pan spoke up for her uncle.

"Uncle Goten don't mean it Aunty…" Ayame hugged pan extra tight and smiled "I know he doesn't." She lied to pan smiling wide for her before she grabbed her stuff and left the restaurant.

'Gohan followed behind me to talk, I could hear him calling for me but I lost him in a crowd and was gone before he reached the front.