AN: Okay, so I should be writing Blue Bird and Red Wings, which I am... slowly, and this has been bumbing around my head since Auld Aquaintance.
And the new episode..? Everyone's going on about Artemis, Kaldur and Wally... which I get, but seriously, what the HECK happened to Roy?
And now, for your reading pleasure...
Kissing
Barbara was, quite clearly, not amused. That much was obvious, even down a cell phone.
"Looks Babs, I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cut it. I spent the entire evening alone."
"Sorry." Dick tried again, but Barbara Gordon was having none of it.
"Where. Were. You?"
"In outer space, in a secret satellite actually, taking down Vandal Savage and a mind controlled Justice League all the while trying to get with the fact that one of my best friends is actually a clone."
"Ha, ha." the girl says, "Where were you really?"
"Hanging out with Wally and Roy." Dick said, wincing slightly at the feeble fabrication.
"So you took two redheaded guys you've known for just about three years over a completely gorgeous-"
"And you totally are." Dick added for good measure.
"May I continue?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Thank you. Now as I was saying... A totally gorgeous red-head you've known for, let's see now, nearly five years. Is that right?"
"Well... I guess, I mean there were other people there too."
"What 'other people'." Dick could hear her eyes narrowing.
"Uh, it was on of those weird benefit things, so a lot of people, there was a guy called Connor and his girlfriend Megan, um, Kal and Raquel, Wally, Roy, Artie and umm..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last one."
Dick's voice suddenly came out very small; "Zatanna."
On the other end of the line Barbara was seething; "And who is this great and mysterious Zatanna who I got stood up for?"
"Just a friend."
"Pretty, is she?" Barbara's voice was like ice.
"Um... I haven't really-"
"Well?"
"Yeah, I guess, a little."
Barbara coughed a little, "You spent New Year with her?"
Dick nodded and Barbara rolled her eyes, "I'll take that as a yes then."
When there was no reply she sighed; "Okay, look Dick, I know you can't always get out of these charity things so I'm willing to let it slide-"
"Thank you, oh great and merciful librarian."
"Your sarcasm is truly whelming. Anyway, I'm going to let it slide, just tell me you didn't kiss her."
"Dick?"
"Does it count if it was involuntary?"
There was silence on the other end, then; "You're a dead man Richard Grayson."
She hung up and Robin flopped backwards into the couch cushions.
"What's up dude?" Wally asked from the kitchen, where he was snacking on leftover turkey.
Robin sighed and readjusted his sunglasses; "My girlfriend's gonna kill me."
