Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Author's Notes: Alright. This is just a trial thing of sorts. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with it and I wanted to know whether or not it was worth continuing. It's an AU highschool fic and I do believe my characters are OOC. --sigh-- I had a lot of trouble writing Sasuke and I made Naruto different on purpose. Hehe. And the title was just some random thing that came to mind (I wanted to have the word bastard in it XD), but looking at it kind of makes me think I've seen it before. So if that's true, I didn't mean to copy and will change it if need be. Apologies.

If there is a good response for continuation, the updates will be far apart because most of my attention is on my other fic, Sunlight. :D

Anyways, I hope it's alright. :D

--melodi--

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The Trials and Tribulations of Bastards and Dobes…

Chapter 1 - How to meet a bastard who doesn't want to be met…

-----

Naruto sighed as he stared out of the classroom window and eyed the dull, grey clouds with distaste. Normally, he wouldn't even be here. Not this early anyways. The first day of school was always, as Shikamaru so eloquently puts it, troublesome.

He didn't mind the loudness so much. Actually, he thrived on it. Silence is what drives him crazy. But, this only applies when he wasn't tired. And right now, Uzumaki Naruto was damn well exhausted. He'd put in a late night at work and got maybe four hours sleep at the most. Damn harpy of a boss.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp poke to his back. Naruto turned to see the grinning face of none other than Inuzuka Kiba. Naruto's partner in crime. He hadn't even noticed that his friend had sat down behind him. Damn, he really needed some rest. If he wasn't careful, Kiba would take full advantage of it.

"What is it, Dog Boy?" Naruto grinned.

"Ya look a little tired today, Blondie. Your boyfriend keep you up late?" The brown-haired teen smirked.

"Hmm. Maybe. Jealous, Inuzuka?" Naruto turned around fully to face Kiba.

Inuzuka chuckled and leaned forward, "Who knows, Blondie? Maybe I am."

Their faces only inches apart, Naruto was about to continue their 'game' when Shikamaru decided it was time for it to stop.

"Enough guys. It's too early for that and nobody cares about your troublesome 'relationship.'"

"Awww, Shika. We were just putting on a show for those girls over there," Kiba grinned as he pointed to a group of blushing girls at the front of the classroom, "It looks to me that they seem to care."

Naruto chuckled, "How the hell are you ever going to get a girlfriend if you keep flirting with me in front of all the girls?"

"You don't seem to have any complaints about it, Naru-chan," Kiba retorted emphasizing that dreaded nickname Naruto hated with a passion.

The blond rolled his eyes at his friend. Kiba was the first one to figure out that Naruto swung both ways. To sum everything up, he had lots of fun teasing Naruto about it. Shikamaru had probably caught on a long time ago, but just never said anything about it. He laughed at the thought of his other friend deeming Naruto's preferences 'too troublesome'.

The trio had grown up together so it was never a problem when Naruto came out of the closet. Kiba had pointed out that it was rather logical considering that out of the three, Naruto was the only one who dressed up as a girl when they were little. The remark only earned the brown-haired teen a kick in the ass and a few none-too-friendly string of colourful words.

"Whatever, Dog Boy," Naruto smiled and triumphantly ignored everything else the idiot had to say. He turned back to the window and went back to what he was doing before Kiba interrupted him. He didn't like the rain, but somewhere along the way of his short life, he picked up the hobby of watching that depressing form of the weather.

He inwardly laughed at the thought; this habit of his was the only thing that ever calmed him down. When Naruto wasn't tired, he was a ball of energy that annoyed the hell out of everyone. Well, maybe except for Kiba. He was just as rowdy and just as annoying. And, despite their high grades, the trio had been labelled the 'class clowns'. Much to Shikamaru's chagrin. He was only a 'class clown' by association, or so he said.

Naruto ignored the door opening, signalling the arrival of their teacher. He didn't feel like acknowledging him right now. The pervert was late as it was and Naruto deemed him unworthy of his attention. Besides, he greeted him in the elevator when he left for school. Kakashi-sensei was always staying over at his neighbour's apartment. Naruto had no idea what Iruka saw in the man.

Everyone, besides Naruto, stood up and greeted their tardy teacher.

"Ah, sorry I'm late everyone. I lost my 'teacher's book' this morning and sadly, I wasn't able to find it," the man had a different excuse every time, but this one was actually genuine.

Naruto suppressed the urge to laugh at the silver-haired man. He knew exactly where Kakashi's book was and why it was there. It seemed that the he had not failed to piss off Iruka this morning. Naruto's neighbour was hell on two legs if you managed to piss him off enough and Kakashi was a professional at it.

It would be a week of sucking up before the pervert would get his prized book back.

Naruto's gaze wandered around the school grounds below and he frowned when his eyes fell on a black limo. Odd. He continued to watch as the driver got out, walked to the other side of the limo and opened the door near the rear of the car; umbrella in hand. A dark haired teen stepped out and took the offered umbrella from the driver. The blond couldn't see his face, but he assumed it was a new student. No one he knew owned a limo.

That's when something Kakashi said piqued his interest.

"We'll be getting a new student today. I'm actually surprised he's not here yet," the older man chuckled.

There was a sudden burst of whispers amongst the students. All seemed to be excited at the prospect of 'fresh meat'. The girls were more than happy to hear that the new student was male. Naruto sighed. And so it begins.

There was a knock on the door before it was slid open to reveal…the principal, Yamato-sensei. Naruto and Kiba couldn't hold in their snickers at the simultaneous disappointed sounds the class made. Ignoring the class, the principal walked over to Kakashi and spoke briefly with the silver-haired man. Kakashi nodded and Yamato looked over to Naruto.

"Uzumaki, come with me now."

Naruto's face dropped, "What the hell did I do now?"

"Are you trying to argue with me?" Yamato's voice dropped to that eerily creepy tone that unnerved Naruto in more ways then he'll ever admit.

"You can leave your stuff here, Naruto," Kakashi spoke in a voice tinged with amusement, "You won't be gone that long."

Naruto glared at his teacher and dropped his stuff onto his desk. He ignored Kiba's chuckling and a quiet 'good luck' before leaving the room and making his way to the main office. He was very familiar with this procedure.

Every year, when school started, Naruto would perform a well-planned prank at the school faculty's expense. He'd get blamed first because no one else had the gall to even consider pulling off half the stuff he did. Then Yamato-sensei would call him to the office and give him a mouthful that went in one of his ears and right out the other. That was a technique he had proudly mastered over the years. After the initial, rehearsed warnings of suspension and possible expulsion, Naruto would be sent back to class.

Something was different this year though. He hadn't pulled a prank because he had been too damn busy with work, coupled with the lack of sleep. So why the hell was he called to the office? The faculty should be happy he didn't try anything this year. Now, he almost wished he had. It'd serve that bastard Yamato right.

Naruto followed his principal into the main office but not before noticing the dark-haired teen he'd seen from the window. The boy in question was currently seated in the waiting area across from the principal's office. Naruto idly noted that the new student looked about his age, taller and very good looking. He also noticed that there seemed to be a hidden sadness within the new guy's eyes. Like he lost something.

That's when Naruto realized he had been caught staring. The pale teen glared at him before looking away in what Naruto suddenly deemed, 'a dignified, bastardly manner'.

The new kid was an asshole. Or bastard. Hm. He liked bastard better.

Naruto shot the new kid a glare of his own before unnecessarily slamming the principal's door.

"What's wrong now, Yamato-sensei?" Naruto asked, flopping onto the chair in front of the principal's desk, "I didn't do anything this year."

"Now, now, Uzumaki. Just because I called you here does not mean that you're in trouble," Naruto decided then that Yamato's smile scared him far more than his voice.

"…What do you want, then?" The blond asked warily.

Yamato smiled again, "The faculty and I have decided to give you a year long project, of sorts."

Naruto blanched, "What?"

"That last stunt you pulled at the end of last year only encouraged our decision," Yamato continued, "We were quite surprised when nothing happened this year."

Naruto chuckled, "I was too tired this morning."

"Yes, I am aware of your job and I'm happy to know that it does not affect your grades."

"Right."

Naruto may be a hyperactive, annoying brat, but that didn't stop him from achieving the high grades he needed for a scholarship to university. He was pretty proud of that too.

"Now, back to the task at hand. You are aware of the scholarship requirements you need to attend the Konoha University?" Yamato asked.

The blond nodded, "Excellent academic standing and a clean…"

He saw Yamato smirk when he trailed off, "And a clean behavioural record."

Naruto pouted, "What do I have to do?"

"Great. Right to the point, Uzumaki," Yamato beamed in a horribly disturbing way, "You saw the new student on your way in?"

"Yeah. Seems like a prick," Naruto muttered.

"What was that, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto cringed at the honorific. Whenever Yamato used it, the name only served to warn the blond of an impending doom.

"Nothing. Please continue, Yamato-sensei," the blond smiled weakly.

"Ah, yes. That boy's guardian has requested someone be assigned to 'keep and eye out' for him. I suppose he's gotten into some trouble at the previous schools he's been to."

"Schools?"

"Yes. He's been transferred to several different schools over the last few years. He doesn't quite have the same type of behavioural record as you, but the other schools refused to take him back for his last year."

"So, that leaves this school?" Naruto frowned.

"Yes. I suppose that is why he's here now. After all, you have made this school infamous enough to have other schools refer students here whom they have turned away."

Naruto had to chuckle at that. That was pretty funny. Another thing to add to his 'accomplishment list'.

"This is not a laughing matter, Uzumaki," Yamato frowned, "If we weren't such an academically challenging institution, we would most definitely be one of the lower ranked schools."

"Okay, okay. So I have to look after Mr. Attitude back there," Naruto pointed at the door.

"Not necessarily look after him, just keep him out of trouble. Is that too much to ask, Naruto-kun?"

Another shudder, "No, it's not."

"Good. There is another thing I'd like to add to your assignment," Yamato's voice dropped again.

"…What is it?"

"By the end of the year, I'd like for you to hand in an essay of your 'experience' with the boy. Your writing skills are phenomenal so I doubt you'd have any problems with it." Yamato was thrilled to see that Naruto did have a problem with a writing assignment along with keeping an eye on the Uchiha teen, "If you can do both of these things I've asked alongwith keeping your grades up and staying out of trouble, the scholarship will be as good as yours. Agreed?"

Naruto was quiet for a moment. It shouldn't be too hard to keep an eye on the other teen. He looked moody and irritable, but he supposed that he could manage it. The writing assignment shouldn't be too hard either, he hoped. After all, it meant that he had to interact with…whatever his name is.

"Hey, Yamato-sensei?" Naruto began.

"Uchiha Sasuke is his name," Yamato answered before Naruto could ask.

"I've heard that name before," Naruto thought aloud.

"He's the second heir to the Uchiha Corporation, but I'll leave the rest of the information for him to tell you, if he chooses to."

"So he's a rich kid. It explains the limo. Oh, I saw him from the classroom window this morning," the blond grinned at Yamato's curious gaze.

"I see. So, do we have an agreement, Uzumaki?"

"Yeah, I'll do it."

"Good. I've already placed him in all of your classes so you can take him to class with you when you leave."

"Hey! This was planned!" Naruto shouted angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at his principal.

"Yes it was. I believe I mentioned that earlier, did I not?"

Naruto frowned and thought about it and blushed, "I guess you did."

"Try to get along with him, he's not very approachable, so you have your work cut out for you, Uzumaki. Now get back to class and good luck," Yamato smiled.

Naruto suppressed another shudder and left the room. Okay, so all he had to do was be nice to the guy and keep him out of trouble. Sounds easy enough.

The blond took a deep breath and walked over to the brooding teen, "Hey there! My name's Uzumaki Naruto. Welcome to Konoha High. I'm…"

The black-haired teen cut him off, "Save it. Just take me to class."

Naruto's face fell and he resisted the urge to punch some sense into the bastard, "Let's go then. Can I get your name?"

"No. You already know it, don't you?"

The blond blushed. So the bastard knew?

"Uchiha."

"Hn."

They walked from through the halls with Naruto attempting and failing at any sort of conversation with the Uchiha. All he managed was to explain where their classes were, the bathrooms, and the gym. Sasuke never said a word.

So maybe this won't be as easy as Naruto had hoped.

Damn faculty had to conspire against him this year. It figures they'd wait until his last year to make his life hell. Smart ass teachers.

Sasuke followed the annoying blond through the maze of hallways that made up this poor excuse for a school. If he had gotten his way, he wouldn't even be here. Damn Itachi had to control his life too. To top everything off, his guide was an idiot. Well, he was annoying. The blond wouldn't even be here if his grades weren't up to par with the schools standards.

The only thing he found remotely interesting about the shorter teen was the faint scars on his cheeks. Sasuke refused to ask him about them though. He was here to finish school, not make friends with other people. He didn't need them. This being a decision he'd made after his parents died.

Sasuke sighed and ignored the incessant rambling of the boy (Uzumaki?) ahead of him. He was relieved when they finally stopped in front of a door that read, 3-A. Year three, advanced.

"Well, here's our first class with Kakashi-sensei," the blond said a little too cheerfully before whispering, "He's always late and reads trashy novels."

Sasuke frowned. What kind of school was this?

"Naruto, get in here already, you've missed half the lesson," a bored voice ordered from inside the room.

Naruto cringed and mumbled, "Damn Kakashi-sensei."

Sasuke waited for Naruto to open the door and explain their reason for arriving so late. To Sasuke's annoyance, Naruto only argued with the teacher about some sort of conspiracy and 'ridiculous' assignment. The blond got so riled up at his teacher, he forgot about the Uchiha standing in the doorway, still out of eyesight of the other students in the class.

He caught the teacher glance at him and smile.

"Enough Naruto. I see you've brought the new student with you."

Sasuke saw Naruto pout and nod as well as hear the class' hushed whispers, "The bastard's name is Uchiha. He's new, etcetera, etcetera."

"Don't be rude, Naruto. Now go sit down and behave," Kakashi was enjoying this new punishment on the hyperactive blond. Oh, the wonders of leverage and blackmail.

"Now," Kakashi turned to look at Sasuke, "Come in, come in. Don't be shy."

Sasuke glared at the older man. He seemed to have an idiot for a teacher too. The Uchiha inwardly cringed when he heard the typical gasps of surprise from the female students. Every damn time.

"Would you like to introduce yourself, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked as he sat down behind his desk to finish reading a book that was definitely not appropriate for high school students. That book should not even be allowed in a school.

Sasuke shook his head and walked to a free seat at the back, across the room from the annoying blond. But, as fate would have it, Sasuke sat beside a green eyed girl with pink hair and in front of a blond girl with light blue eyes. The silent gasps from the aforementioned girls were a dead giveaway that he would be moving away from this wretched spot very soon. A few chuckles from across the room signified the future demise of his whiskered guide.

Sasuke shot a glare at the blond and his friend before turning his attention to the teacher who, by all means, was not teaching. The silver-haired man had his nose in that book as he droned on about the wonders of modern literature. Sasuke had to think for a moment before frowning at the older man. This class was Japanese History, was it not?

Naruto couldn't help but laugh some more at the expense of the Uchiha. He was in for one hell of a year if he decided to stay in the spot that he and Kiba had come to call, 'the Danger Zone'. Sakura and Ino were always fighting about something. Best friends? Yes. Rivals? Damn straight. And it looked like the pair were in their rival mode at the moment. Judging from their starry eyed expressions at the black-haired teen to their murderous glares towards one another. Naruto almost felt sorry for Sasuke, but he was sure the bastard would be able to cope.

Maybe.

"Say, Naruto. What's the deal with that guy? He seems…"

Naruto cut Kiba off, "Like an absolute bastard with no people skills, but both rich and good looking enough for everyone to overlook his not so charming qualities?"

Kiba smirked at his friend, "Yeah. Exactly, but tone it down a bit. You're starting to scare me."

"Like a stuck up bastard? That better?"

"Now that sounds like the good ol' Naruto I know. You've been into Iruka's books again, haven't you, Blondie?" the brown-haired teen accused.

"I can't help it, man. Iruka ran out of room in his apartment so I said he could store some in mine. Now his 'library' extends into my apartment," Naruto sighed before he spoke again, "It's even alphabetized."

Kiba had to laugh out loud at that. It was a widely known fact that Iruka, Konoha University professor, was and will always be, a bookworm. The man was always reading. The habit was so contagious that Naruto had picked it up and had, somewhere along the way and with Iruka's tutelage, gotten smarter.

'Too smart,' Kiba thought to himself.

"Okay, back to this Sasuke guy. What's his deal?" Kiba asked, continuing their conversation.

"I don't know, but I'm supposed to keep an eye on him," Naruto muttered darkly, "If you ask me, I think he's doing a fine job on his own."

"Is that why Yamato called you to the office?"

"Yeah. Damn conniving faculty bastards. Because it's my last year, they're all out to get me. It figures. Especially all that shit I put them through over the years," Naruto grinned proudly, "Anyways, I have to 'get to know him' too and write an essay about my 'assignment'."

Kiba slapped Naruto's back, "Well good luck, Blondie. With the way Sasuke acts, you're definitely going to need it."

"Shut up, Kiba."

"Both of you shut up."

Naruto and Kiba turned to the sound of the command. Shikamaru was glaring at them with a facial expression that the two interpreted as: 'You both are troublesome idiots that just woke me up from my nap. Shut the hell up.'

"Isn't Shika such a wonderful friend, Kiba?" Naruto spoke in an overly dramatic voice.

"Yeah, Naruto-chan. He is the very definition of friend. And such an amazing morning person. I'm almost jealous."

Shikmaru shot his friends a defeated glare before leaning back and closing his eyes again. Troublesome idiots.

-----

Lunch time.

It never ceased to amaze him how the girls flocked to the 'fresh meat' like vultures. It was also kind of scary. Everywhere the Uchiha went, a trail of girls would follow with whispers of love and giggles of embarrassment.

Naruto was right to assume that Sasuke could cope with it. He was probably used to a bunch of rabid fan girls stalking him around the school. The poor guy. His good looks were sure to be the cause for his inevitable demise. The blond chuckled. Iruka's novels were starting to supersede his normal train of thought. What scared Naruto the most about that was that he didn't seem to care. At all.

The blond continued to watch the Uchiha deal with his fan girls with amusement. But, it was when he saw a glint in those ebony eyes did he make his move. The girls were starting to get the courage to actually touch him; Sakura and Ino latched onto each arm. And Sasuke didn't look too pleased about that. Naruto supposed he didn't like to be touched. He walked faster when that glint intensified. Shit, that guy had some intimidating looks.

Naruto pushed his way through the pack of girls and stopped in front of Sasuke. He winked at the other teen, "Uchiha, Yamato-sensei wants to speak to you now."

Sasuke eyed Naruto warily before nodding and removing each girl from his arms to accompany the blond. He shot a warning glare at the girls that successfully stopped their plan to follow him and Uzumaki to the main office. When they turned a corner, Naruto started to snicker which turned into a full blown laugh as they walked away from the main office.

Sasuke frowned, "What's so funny?"

Naruto smiled brightly at him, "You are. It's your first day and if I hadn't stopped you just now, you'd have been kicked out."

"Hn."

"Is that some form response or are you choking?" Naruto laughed again when Sasuke glared at him, "Man, if looks could kill…"

Sasuke had no idea why this Uzumaki guy was trying to pick a fight with him. All the idiot had to do was say one more thing.

"Did you at least manage to get some food from the cafeteria?" Naruto asked. He had caught that dangerous glint in the other teen's eyes again and purposely refrained from teasing him anymore.

"No."

"Well, you can share my lunch. Kiba, my friend, usually eats with me…Well, that's not true. The shithead eats all of my lunch and his. The bastard will pay one day," Naruto declared as schemes already started to materialise in his mind, "For now, you can eat my food. Haha, not all of it, we have to share because I'm pretty hungry. Oh, that's if you don't mind sharing someone else's lunch either. I guess I should have asked first."

Sasuke was unsure whether or not to actually share food with someone else. Especially with the blond. But the low rumble emanating from his stomach said otherwise. Damn girls never give him a break.

"Fine," Sasuke answered.

"Good. I'll introduce you to the guys too. They're alright," the blond smiled again and led Sasuke up to the roof.

"The roof?" Sasuke asked curiously. Wasn't it still raining?

"Yeah. Everyone's in the cafeteria and Shikamaru hates crowds. From the looks of it, you don't seem too fond of them either."

"I'm not."

"Well, then you'll fit right in up here, Uchiha," Naruto beamed, "Shit. I hope it stopped raining. There's a shelter up there that we sit under, but I just don't like the rain."

Despite how annoying the blond was, Sasuke didn't mind him so much anymore. He was alright. Taking a breath, the black-haired teen finally relaxed for the first time that day.

"Sasuke."

"Eh?" Naruto asked dumbly.

"You can call me Sasuke," he spoke louder.

Naruto's face brightened, "Well, Sasuke. You can call me Naruto." Sasuke nodded before the blond continued, "Or, the Great One, or even, Uzumaki Supreme. That last one sounds like a fast food meal."

Sasuke shook his head. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to follow Naruto. The other teen seemed to be running on an endless supply of energy that made Sasuke wonder where the hell he stored it all. Naruto seemed rather small for their age. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone shout.

"Yo, Blondie! We're over here…Hey, how'd you manage to get Pretty Boy to come with you?"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at the nickname and turned to the boisterous voice to see the brown-haired teen Naruto was sitting with in class as well as another one that seemed to be asleep. Or rather, was asleep. It appeared that the loud one woke him up.

"Hey guys, this here is Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke, these are the guys, Kiba and Shikmaru," Naruto gestured to each teen as he introduced them, "Kiba's more of an idiot than I am so if you feel like punching him, go for it. By all means. Ouch!"

"Shut up, asshole," Kiba said as he punched Naruto's leg.

"Bastard," Naruto mumbled before continuing, "And Shikamaru rarely says anything unless we annoy him so I think you two will get along just fine. He's also a lazy bastard. Ouch! Damn it, you guys!"

Shikamaru's lips twitched up into a small smirk when his foot accidentally hit Naruto's other leg.

"Nice to meet you, Uchiha," Shikamaru greeted only bothering to open one eye to look at Sasuke.

"Yeah, welcome to Konoha High," Kiba grinned then eyed the lunch box that Naruto took out of his bag, "Whatcha got today, Blondie?"

"It's none of your damn business, Dog Boy, because you don't get any," Naruto smirked triumphantly.

"Don't be stingy, you know my sister doesn't make a big enough lunch for me."

"Too bad, asshole. Sasuke wasn't able to get a lunch because of his fan girls, so I offered to share mine with him."

Kiba looked back and forth between Naruto and Sasuke before he seemed to come to a conclusion. His grin spoke volumes to Naruto. Oh shit.

"Hey, hey, Shika," Kiba said in that voice his friends knew too well, "Looks like Naru-chan here has a crush on the new guy."

Shikamaru opened both eyes at the comment and looked at the pair sitting across from him and Kiba. Naruto was beet red, but Shikamaru couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. He chose the latter because his blond friend seemed to be radiating fumes. Sasuke on the other hand seemed to be ignoring the two idiots rather well for his first day. He's good. The lazy teen shrugged and closed his eyes again. At least this year wasn't going to be boring.

"Shut the fuck up, Kiba! You're just sore that I refused to give you any food, you bastard! So quit talking shit!"

"Are you blushing, Naru-chan?"

That was it. Naruto lunged at his idiot friend and proceeded to kick his ass. He could care less about the rain right now.

Sasuke turned to Shikamaru who had sighed loudly, "You'll get used to them."

A short silence followed as both quiet teens ignored the brawl between Naruto and Kiba.

"Hn."

-----

"How was school, Sasuke?" Itachi asked quietly.

The elder Uchiha was currently sitting across from Sasuke at the dinner table. He had been concerned about whether or not his little brother had fared well at his new school. He was very aware of Sasuke's attitude towards public schools, but the younger Uchiha refused to go to private schools and threw a fit at the mention of home schooling. Spoiled brat.

"Hn. It was fine," Sasuke grumbled.

"Any fights?"

This earned a scowl from the teen, "No. Did you expect one?"

"No. Friends?" Itachi's focused all of his attention on his younger brother then. He knew Sasuke was not prone to make any friends, but there was always a possibility. Always.

"Maybe."

Itachi suppressed the urge to smile. It was a start. Perhaps asking the principal to keep a watchful eye on him was unnecessary.

"Good. I'm glad your day went fine, little brother."

They ate the rest of their dinner in silence before going their separate ways. A routine that both hated, but refused to change.