You Fail at Life.
After17
Summary: AU. (Oneshot) Various cannon pairings. Your text made me snigger in class, while I was looking at my crotch. FML.
Humorous fic.
Fore note: Text fics… sigh. So addictive to write, man, I swear. Trying a cleaner lay out this time though. Randomness is ensured.
Also, I freaking love the summary. I laugh when ever I read it. YOU SHOULD TOO! (Imagine it! IMAGINE IT! NOW SNIGGER! BAHAHAHA!)
Funny fact: this fic started out as a TimmyxTecna. FAIL. However, the punch line is still the same in this fic as it was going to be as the TimmyxTec so not much was lost there.
Disclaimer: I'm disclaiming!
9:02 AM
To: Timmy
From: Sky
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
If I sent this to Bloom do you think she'd let me take her on a date?
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9:08 AM
To: Sky
From: Timmy
Well, if it's any help, I don't think so.
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9:10 AM
To: Riven
From: Sky
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Do you think Bloom would like me, if I asked her out with this pick up line?
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10:50 AM
To: Sky
From: Riven
Thanks a lot. I got detention.
From reading your text.
Idiot.
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10:51 AM
To: Riven
From: Sky
What?
Wait, seriously?
How did that happen?
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11:00 AM
To: Sky
From: Riven
I can't believe I'm admitting this…
BUT…
Your text made me snigger.
In class.
While I was looking at my crotch.
FML.
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11:20 AM
To: Riven
From: Sky
Well, now it looks like I'm joining you.
FML.
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11:30 AM
To: Sky
From: Riven
FML. AGAIN.
Bastard.
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11:45 AM
To: Musa
From: Riven
I know I said, I'd go to the CD store with you…
But I have detention.
Blame Sky.
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11:47 AM
To: Sky
From: Musa
OMG! I FINALLY get Riven – the Riven, Mr. I'm-too-cool-for-you.
To hang out.
ALONE.
WHY did you have to screw everything up?
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11:48 AM
To: Sky
From: Musa
I hate you.
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11:48 AM
To: Musa
From: Sky
Sorry.
Hey, I want to ask Bloom out; if I sent her this…
Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I met the girl of my dreams.
Would she say yeah?
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11:50 AM
To: Sky
From: Musa
What part of 'I hate you' didn't you get the first time?
OMG! YOU OWE ME AND RIVEN A DATE!
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11:52 AM
To: Musa
From: Sky
I can't even get a date myself.
What makes you think I can get a date between you and Riven?
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11:55 AM
To: Sky
From: Musa
I DON'T CARE!
YOU OWE ME A DATE!
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11:57 AM
To: Musa
From: Sky
Wtf, woman, are you on your period or something?
You're being so moody.
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11:58 AM
To: Sky
From: Musa
WTF? Is it sport season, is that why you're so dumb?
Here's a tip; Go fall down a well.
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11:59 AM
To: Musa
From: Sky
Bitch.
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12:02 PM
To: Bloom
From: Musa
I hate Sky.
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12:04 PM
To: Stella
From: Musa
I hate Sky.
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12:05 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
I hate Sky.
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12:07 PM
To: Flora
From: Musa
I hate Sky.
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12:09 PM
To: Layla
From: Musa
I hate Sky.
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12:11 PM
To: Musa
From: Stella
It's just because you're a little emotional around this time of month…
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12:12 PM
To: Stella
From: Musa
WTF? No, it's not.
He got Riven detention so we can't hang out.
And fine. It's a little of that as well.
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12:14 PM
To: Musa
From: Flora
Oh, well, if you don't have anything on, we can hang out after school?
You wanted to get that CD right?
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12:16 PM
To: Flora
From: Musa
ZOMG, I was meant to go with Riven but now he has detention.
WAH!
Why can't boys be like girls – like sweet and kind and stuff?
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12:18 PM
To: Flora
From: Musa
Oh, sorry I forgot, you have the only nice heterosexual boyfriend in existence.
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12:21 PM
To: Musa
From: Bloom
Huh? What happened?
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12:23 PM
To: Bloom
From: Musa
I don't know, ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND!
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12:25 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
I hate it when Musa's like this…
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12:27 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
You're telling me, but we all get like that… sometimes.
Also, where are you? Its lunch!
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12:29 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
Getting extra notes printed? Want a copy?
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12:30 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
Please. So would everyone else, print out ten copies please!
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12:32 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
You are all such slackers…
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12:34 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
And cheapskates.
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12:35 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
You're all paying me back for these photocopies.
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12:37 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
But they're like ten cents?
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12:38 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
Bohemian Rhapsody is an amazing song, btw.
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:39 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
What?
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12:41 PM
To: Stella
From: Bloom
It's on in the library.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family.
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12:42 PM
To: Bloom
From: Stella
Okay, well you didn't need to reconfirm that.
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12:45 PM
To: Bloom
From: Musa
Let me Goooooooooooooo-OOOOOOOooooo!
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12:47 PM
To: Musa
From: Bloom
How did you know?
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12:49 AM
To: Bloom
From: Musa
Stella just belted out the song.
Actually, we had a bit of a High School Musical moment.
Well, just out table.
It was actually amazing.
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12:50 PM
To: Musa
From: Bloom
Depressed that I missed that.
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1:15 PM
To: Bloom
From: Musa
You know what is an amazing song?
(Also, I dibs Sharpay! I'm such a bitch)
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1:30 PM
To: Bloom
From: Brandon
Please explain why Stella, Musa and Layla just jumped onto their desks in Geography singing bird is the word?
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1:38 PM
To: Bloom
From: Brandon
I honestly don't know, but I may have mentioned 'Bohemian Rhapsody' at lunch.
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1:42 PM
To: Bloom
From: Brandon
Makes even less sense than before but amazing song.
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1:45 PM
To: Bloom, Stella, Flora, Tecna, Layla, Sky, Riven, Brandon, Helia, Timmy…
From: Musa
I said…
BIRD IS THE WORD!
A-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bi-bi-bi-rd.
Oh yeah.
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1:46 PM
To: Musa
From: Riven
Surf's up.
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1:48 PM
To: Riven
From: Musa
Dude….
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2:00 PM
To: Musa
From: Riven
Win?
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2:01 PM
To: Riven
From: Musa
Epic.
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2:50 PM
To: Musa
From: Tecna
I just checked my balance online, guess who has enough for that new computer with duel screens! Jealous?
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2:55 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
Shhh! I am trying to do my work.
YOU SHOULD TOO!
SLACKER!
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2:57 PM
To: Musa
From: Tecna
Yeah. You're so jealous.
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2:59 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
Shut up, bitch.
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3:00 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
Do you think Bloom would like it if I asked her out what that?
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3:02 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Dude.
Insert sad face here.
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3:05 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
What?
Why?
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3:06 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
I thought you were coming on to ME.
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3:08 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Uh, do you want me too?
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3:10 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Nah, I know you'd just be seeing Riven behind my back.
Have fun in detention.
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3:12 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Riven and I would make a terrible pairing.
I need someone whose attentive and respectful and well, a girl.
Because I don't swing that way.
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3:15 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
You just want someone whose a good cuddle don't you?
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3:17 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Don't we all?
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3:18 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Yeah.
I think you'd make a good cuddle Sky.
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3:19 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Thanks you too, man.
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3:20 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
I shall stop texting you now so you don't risk getting an other detention.
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4:02 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Too late.
And I have to spend it with Riven.
Again.
Because he was late and there fore got an other detention.
FAIL.
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4:08 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
It's a sign, send the pick up line to Riven and forget Bloom.
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4:15 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
FML.
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4:19 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Dude, if your stuck ask Helia, he's pretty good for advice.
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4:22 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
I would.
BUT I don't actually have his number…
How did this (not) happen?
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4:25 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
No wonder you can't get Bloom to go on a date with you…
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4:28 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Gee, thanks. But I can get a date with out Helia's help.
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4:30 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Yeah, you're latest ploy is working particularly well Sky.
(Seriously the secret admirer thing was just weird)
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4:32 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
What? Haven't you ever seen a romantic comedy? Chicks dig that stuff.
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4:33 PM
To: Helia
From: Brandon
Please, please, please oh-great-one-whom-knows-all-about-lurve please help Sky.
Seriously.
He needs it.
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4:48 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
Helia, how can I possibly get Bloom to fall in love with me? Also, I got your number from Brandon.
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5:15 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Helia's a worse responder than Riven…
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5:17 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Romeo didn't have to wait this long to win Juliet over…
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5:19 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
So you want to go marry Bloom, then have sex then die?
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5:23 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
Dude, wtf?
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5:25 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Did you ever read Romeo and Juliet?
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6:00 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
I just finished Romeo and Juliet. I didn't see the sex part.
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6:02 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
Dude, did you read that last bit you typed? And it's super subtle.
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6:08 PM
To: Brandon
From: Sky
When will Helia respond?
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6:09 PM
To: Sky
From: Brandon
So, you want Helia's help now? Try sending him a pick up line.
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6:11 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
Hey, Hershey's makes millions of kisses in one day. Can I get one from you?
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6:27 PM
To: Sky
From: Helia
Sure, which one would you like; white, milk or dark?
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6:29 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
Finally – a response. And quite a witty one at that. I need help. Getting the attention of a girl.
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6:40 PM
To: Sky
From: Helia
Is it Bloom? You guys are already friends, why don't you just ask her out?
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6:43 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
I just can't, okay?
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6:56 PM
To: Sky
From: Helia
Why not?
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6:59 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
I… I just… what if she says no?
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7:09 PM
To: Sky
From: Helia
It's just a risk you're going to have to make.
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7:15 PM
To: Helia
From: Sky
FML.
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8:32 PM
To: Bloom
From: Sky
So, hey Bloom, um, so since tomorrow's Friday, do you think you'd like to go to get some pizza and see a movie with me? (Just me)
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8:38 PM
To: Sky
From: Bloom
Are you asking me on a date?
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8:40 PM
To: Bloom
From: Sky
Yes, yes I am.
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8:42 PM
To: Sky
From: Bloom
Took you long enough.
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8:45 PM
To: Bloom
From: Sky
Huh?
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8:48 PM
To: Sky
From: Bloom
I was so worried you were going to use a pick up line.
And wtf? You texted pretty much everyone but me! You didn't think I would find out?
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8:45 PM
To: Bloom
From: Sky
FML.
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3:30 PM
To: Tecna
From: Timmy
Are you sure you don't want me to come over and give you a hand setting everything up?
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4:01 PM
To: Timmy
From: Tecna
I'll be Fiiiine, really! It'll be easy!
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4:15 PM
To: Tecna
From: Timmy
Btw, if you went to the store after school – how did you get it home?
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4:19 PM
To: Timmy
From: Tecna
Bus.
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4:15 PM
To: Tecna
From: Timmy
o.O?
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5:09 PM
To: Musa
From: Riven
Hey, this Sunday, there's this music festival out of town, I have a spare ticket.
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5:15 PM
To: Riven
From: Musa
Pardon?
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5:30 PM
To: Musa
From: Riven
Re-read the text.
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5:40 PM
To: Riven
From: Musa
FML.
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5:43 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
Omg, I freaking cannot stand Riven. ? HUH!
And so this text isn't completely about me bitching about Riven, how's the new computer?
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5:52 PM
To: Musa
From: Tecna
This is not going well. And if Riven asked you out, you should go. It's better than nothing right. And it is Riven!
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5:55 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
Well, I think he's referring to that big charity concert, they had some cool bands there…. And well, I do have a cute outfit… okay. I'll go.
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5:58 PM
To: Tecna
From: Musa
If you're having technical difficulties, call the help centre.
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7:46 PM
To: Musa
From: Riven
So will you come with me or not?
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9:30 PM
To: Timmy
From: Tecna
I can not for the life of me to get this stupid computer to work. And I refused to call the help centre – they are never helpful.
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9:36 PM
To: Tecna
From: Timmy
Did you plug it in?
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9:45 PM
To: Timmy
From: Tecna
Seriously?
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9:48 PM
To: Tecna
From: Timmy
Seriously, did you plug it in?
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10:00 PM
To: Timmy
From: Tecna
So FAIL. At life. Seriously.
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I think I over used the phrase FML BUT its in the title, it would have been wrong NOT to use it. Oh well. And this story took me way to long to write.
And because no A/N is complete without me bitching about ff edit mode: Wtf? Why you take out all my dashes huh? Had to take down the original and change it to X's. Wtf? Huh? Why you so mean? Huh? What I did I do to you? Stupid ff. Grrrr.
And THEN after adding the X's, word count is down to 2000 (it was 4000 before) Wtf? When did I delete half my story, huh? Wtf? Why can't you count. Stupid ff.
Okay.
That's all.
Thanks.
Xx.
After17.
EDIT: If you really don't know what FML means, type .com and type into the search box, what does FML mean? and then hit search. There is your answer.
FYL.
