I randomly got this idea while at work today, because they stuck me with a highly boring task. :( I hope you guys like it! This would probably never happen, logistically, but it's all in good fun.
Summary: Richard is fed up with the way certain members of his staff have been behaving towards each other lately, so he orders all of them to participate in a weekend retreat at a summer camp.
Pairings: As they are on the show as of 3.18. Everyone's in this, though I favor my favorite characters a bit (Addison is one of them). Relationships may develop…
Timeline: After 3.18, Scars and Souvenirs. May include spoilers up to that point. It's going to be June in my story, whether it really is or not… Who knows, the timeline on Grey's is so screwed up. Oh, this is important. I'm going to pretend that a certain scene that happened at the very end of 3.18 never happened because I hate it and it would make my writing more difficult. So, be aware that I will be ignoring it.
Genre: There's going to be a lot of comedy, because I plan on sticking them in some awkward situations. There is also going to be some angst, because these people really DO have many problems to work out. I am also giving some back stories to those who lack them.
Addison's high heels made rapid clicks on the white tiled floors of the hospital as she hurried to Richard's office. Her eyes were on a chart in her hand that she had just received, a high-profile case. She had guessed that was what Richard wanted to talk to her about, and had grabbed the chart on her way to the office. She knocked, then opened the door to his office without really waiting for a response (because that's what doctors do), her eyes still scanning her chart. When she walked in, her shoulder abruptly smashed into Alex's chest.
"Sorry." Addison mumbled as her cheeks flushed to match her hair, then looked up. She was shocked to see that Richard's office was already cramped and filled with people. Her eyes flicked over the crowd. Alex, Meredith, Derek, Izzie, Cristina, Miranda, George, Callie, Mark, and Preston. They all looked as annoyed as she felt.
"What's going on?" Addison wasn't sure why she was whispering. "Where's Richard?"
Callie threw up her hands in impatience. "That's what we'd all like to know!"
"You all got paged?" Addison asked. There were ten nods to answer her question.
"I wish he'd hurry up and explain this." Mark rested against the wall. "I've got breasts to implant."
"I've got hearts to cut open." Preston added.
"I've got brains to cut open." Derek jumped in.
"Oh, would you all just shut up with the pissing contest?" Miranda said. "We know you all think you're highly important, but shut the hell up about it."
"When have I ever acted like I was highly important?" Derek asked.
"When haven't you?" Miranda challenged.
The doctors were bickering back and forth with each other so intently, that they didn't even notice when Richard entered the room. He sighed and cleared his throat. No response. The chaos around him continued. He tried again. Nothing. He slammed his fist against the wall, startling his staff and abruptly ending all of the conversations around him.
"This is why you are all here!" Richard roared. "All of this tension with each other," Richard's eyes fell on Callie and Izzie, "and yelling at each other in hallways." Richard looked pointedly at Addison, Mark, and Derek. "I've never seen such a dysfunctional group of people in my life!"
"But Chief—" Preston began.
"I am not making anyone chief under these circumstances." Richard warned. "You people are going to sort out your differences, once and for all."
"What do you mean?" George asked timidly.
"There's a summer camp a couple of hours from here that a friend of mine owns." Richard explained. "They're between sessions right now for a few weeks, so they're letting us borrow their facilities for the weekend. We're going to have a retreat for team- building activities."
Suddenly, everyone was talking – objecting – at once. "QUIET!" Richard yelled, and the voices died down.
"Camp?!" Cristina guffawed. "You must be kidding. This is a joke, right?"
"I'm very serious, Yang." Richard said in a stern tone that made her shut up. "We're renting three Jeeps, so you'll have plenty of room for your luggage, and going up there this weekend."
"How is the hospital going to run without us?" Preston demanded.
"That's the whole problem with you people!" Richard exclaimed. "You think you're the only damn people in this hospital. Well, guess what? You aren't. This hospital can and will survive without you. I've already made the arrangements."
"But…" Miranda started.
"No buts. From anyone. I don't care what any of you have to say about it." Richard said firmly. "This is what we are doing, so you might as well get used to the idea."
Mark groaned as he hoisted three pieces of Prada luggage into the trunk of the rented Jeep a few days later. "What in the hell do you have in here, anyway? It's only two nights."
"Makeup and hair stuff in that one." Addison pointed to the smallest duffle bag. "Shoes in that one." Her manicured finger aimed at the mid-sized duffle. "And clothes in that one." She gestured to a rolling piece of luggage.
"And you're wearing high heels and a miniskirt. Don't get me wrong… You look delicious." Addison rolled her eyes at that. "But you do realize we're going to be in the woods, right?" Mark asked.
"I have jeans and t-shirts in there, too." Addison defended herself, before climbing up into the vehicle. The words "jeans" and "t-shirts" rolled off her tongue the way that some people might say "dirty diapers," with a slight wrinkle in her nose.
"Only you, Ads." Mark rolled his eyes and started the Jeep. "Let's go get Callie and George."
Cristina walked to the second of the three rented Jeeps, where Preston sat behind the wheel, her arms laden with heavy paper bags that looked as though they might burst at the seams. "Okay!" She dumped the bags in the backseat with Meredith and Derek. "I'm ready to go now."
"Umm… What's all that?" Derek asked, afraid to peer inside the bags himself.
"Alcohol."
"You really think that the chief is going to let us get smashed this weekend?" Meredith asked dubiously.
"What, you never snuck alcohol into the dorms when you were in college?" Cristina asked. Meredith shook her head, and Cristina snorted. "Goody good. I, however, was legendary for sneaking a keg into Emerson House."
"A whole keg?" Derek was impressed.
Preston shook his head. "Looks like I'm marrying a rebel…"
"Oh, that you are." Cristina gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. They had worked things out after Cristina spent the night with Meredith, but their relationship wasn't completely repaired yet.
"You guys ready for this?" Meredith asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be." Derek mumbled.
"We should play the license plate game!" Izzie said excitedly, in the backseat of the third of the Jeeps. Richard was behind the wheel, and Miranda was sitting shotgun beside of him.
"The license plate game sucks!" Alex argued.
"We could sing a song." Izzie suggested.
"Or, we could all just sit here quietly." Miranda said, looking over her shoulder to glare at Izzie.
"You all are no fun." Izzie sulked. "I bet Meredith would play with me."
"Only to shut you up." Alex replied with a sweet smile.
Izzie sighed. "Are we there yet?"
"Can you still see the Space Needle?" Miranda asked, frustrated.
"Um, yes."
"Then do you think we're 2 hours out of the city?"
"No..."
"So no, we are not there yet!"
Alex leaned forward to Miranda. "Can we slip her a Benadryl on the way back?"
"I was thinking more like a Valium."
"Richard has a whistle." Addison whispered to Derek as the doctors approached the large cabin. "He actually brought a whistle."
"Reminds me of when we were interns." Derek whispered back.
"He used whistles on you when you were interns?!" Alex looked shocked.
Addison and Derek looked at each other and blushed. "Um… Sometimes." Addison admitted.
"When we would…" Derek received a hard elbow in the ribs from Addison. "Ow! Yeah. Sometimes."
With a flourish, Richard opened the door to the cabin. "And this is your home for the next two nights."
"Bunk beds." Meredith said with dismay.
"There are two rooms, connected by a hallway and a bathroom. Women will be in this room, men in the other room. You'll have to share the bathroom." Richard explained as he entered the cabin.
"We have to share the bathroom with boys?" Izzie grabbed Miranda's arm, as though it would protect her from any boy cooties that might find their ways into the bathroom.
"I'm bunking with Meredith!" Cristina called out.
"No. You're not. Bunking assignments have been made. Your bunkmate is also your buddy for the weekend." Richard unfolded a piece of paper from his pocket. "Grey and Montgomery, Stevens and Torres, Bailey and Yang, Sloane and Shepherd, O'Malley and Karev, and Burke's with me."
"How come you're the only one without an awkward arrangement?" Derek asked Richard, crossing his arms.
"Because it's my game." Richard grinned as he headed for the men's side of the bunk.
"You want top or bottom bunk?" Addison asked Meredith, resigning herself to the fact that they were stuck in this together."
"Top bunks have always scared me." Meredith admitted.
"No problem." Addison claimed a bunk and climbed up to the top with amazing agility for a woman in high heels. Her feet kicked the $800 worth of Gucci-branded Italian leather off to the floor. She perched up there on her stomach, watching the scene below her as the other doctors reluctantly chose beds.
Meredith raised her eyebrows and looked up at her. "Wow… You're pretty good at that."
"She ought to be." Mark commented. "She spent six years in boarding school."
"I didn't sleep in bunk beds all six years." Addison corrected. "The upperclassmen – well, upper classwomen – had private rooms."
"All girls?" Meredith asked.
"Yup."
"Did you ever see guys?" Meredith couldn't imagine the idea of being stuck with a bunch of women. Her own friends in high school had been mostly guys.
"Sometimes… We had dances and our prom with a neighboring military academy. But mostly, it was just girls."
"That's why she's so hot to trot now." Mark smirked, before he was smacked in the face by Addison's pillow. "Worked out well for me."
Addison arched a brow and propped herself up on her elbows, resting her chin in her hands. "Apparently not too well."
"Oh, ouch! I'm just glad you didn't become a lesbian." He threw the pillow back at her playfully.
"Hey, I went to an all-girls college, and I'm not a lesbian!" Cristina said.
"You sure about that?" Mark smirked. Cristina's glare in response sent him dashing into the men's bunk, where Derek had already claimed a bunk for him.
"I roll around in my sleep a lot, so I need the bottom bunk." Izzie informed Callie.
"Whatever." Callie shrugged casually. "I don't care."
They had selected the bunk next to Addison and Meredith, so Callie climbed to the top and looked over at Addison. Callie pointed below them in the general direction of Izzie and rolled her eyes. Addison laughed.
"Are we having fun yet?" Callie grumbled.
"Actually, I kind of am." Addison said, rolling onto her back. When she was in boarding school, she'd never thought that bunk beds would bring a comforting sense of familiarity for her, but they did.
"You're just weird then." Callie pressed her face into the mattress and covered her head with her pillow.
"I feel like I'm at Woodstock." Alex mumbled under his breath. They had gathered on a grassy field around Richard, waiting for their instructions.
"Tell me about it…" George agreed.
"First, we're going to have some ice breakers with our partners." Richard said, passing out sheets of paper to each pair. "Spread out. Everyone find your own spot on the field to talk privately. Get to know each other."
There was grumbling as the doctors scattered across the field. Addison, who had changed into a pair of jeans, a Columbia t-shirt, and sneakers, flopped onto the ground and brought her knees up to her chest. Meredith slowly followed suit. She seemed more nervous about their interactions than Addison was.
"What was your first job?" Addison read the first question off the sheet.
Meredith laughed. "Umm… I worked at Dairy Queen. For about 2 days. Then I quit."
Addison tilted her head. "Why?"
"Making those stupid curls on the top of the cones drove me crazy!" Meredith giggled. "How about you?"
"Ironically, I was a camp counselor." Addison laughed.
"I never really pegged you for the outdoor type." Meredith admitted.
"Well, I hate fishing or anything that involves having to kill something… But I like trees and sunshine and all of that crap. I taught arts and crafts. I loved arts and crafts."
"So were you never at home? Boarding school during the school year, camp during the summer?" The words just flew out of Meredith's mouth without her stopping to consider them. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have asked that."
Addison shrugged. "That's okay. I think that there's a deep, dark family history question on this list, anyway… So, what the hell. My mom died when I was 12… Ovarian cancer. That's why I have the 'Forbes' in my name… To remember her. My dad sent me to boarding school shortly after she died because he had this big corporate lawyer job and no idea how to care for me."
"Oh." Meredith said softly. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. It was a long time ago. Dad's still around, in NYC. He loves me very much… He just had no idea how to deal with a teenaged daughter. Boarding school wasn't bad… I probably wouldn't have gotten into Columbia or med school or any of that if I hadn't had to buckle down that way."
Meredith didn't want to be nosy, but she had to ask. Her voice was quiet, "Is that why your specialty… Is what it is?"
"Bingo." Addison said. She lay back in the grass, twisting a blade of it between her fingers.
Mark and Derek were awkwardly struggling through their list of questions, barely looking at each other unless forced to.
"If you were a super hero, what would your power be?" Mark read the question in a bored tone. "Well, I already know the answer to that one… You'd want to fly. You've always wanted to fly."
"And you've always wanted x-ray vision. I probably already know everything about you that's on that list." Derek said with a sigh. "And the only thing that I actually want to know about you is not on this list."
"And what's that?" Mark pressed.
"What the hell ever possessed you to sleep with my wife?"
So, we'll end it like that, since it's kind of long. :) We'll pick up with the answer to that question, and we'll see how the others are doing with their ice breakers.
What do you guys think? Feel free to make suggestions… I like to work in what people want to see where I can when I write.
