Disclaimer: I am just floating through someone else's dream. I own nothing.
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At one time, Jim wouldn't have set foot there. Not that he had anything against the people there. Taken individually, he supposed they weren't half-bad. However, put together in the same building and it became something completely different and Jim blamed his damned overactive libido for this mess.
"What the hell am I doing here?" He asked himself, glad that the horrible music of the country bar drowned out his voice to everyone but the man beside him.
"I believe you're attempting to gain the attentions of Dr. McCoy." Spock said helpfully, not at all. Jim didn't know why he decided Spock of all people would be a good wingman. It was true though. Since he'd shanghaied Spock and run down to Georgia in an effort not to end up in jail, he had been aching to catch the doctor's eye. And the bastard was studiously looking every which way but at Jim. Despite all efforts, from landing himself in the doctor's hospital to landing himself in his barn, Bones wasn't even glancing at him.
This was Jim's last attempt before he just said to hell with it and kidnapped the good ol' doc. Sure he might be angry for a bit, but he'd see riding with an outlaw wasn't that bad. Even Spock didn't think so... Loudly.
"Thank you, Spock." He said as he took a seat at the bar, Spock following with an air of resignation wafting around his otherwise neutral form.
"It's not a problem," he returned smoothly.
Jim rolled his eyes but turned to the stage. "The guy at the nickel store said Bones'd be on in ten minutes. Remember the plan?"
"It is not a particularly difficult plan, Jim," Spock said as he glared at the jar at the end of the bar. "We listen to Dr. McCoy sing where after we sneak into the back and I, …" here he sighed, "proceed to tell the doctor about all of your good deeds until he is suitably impressed enough to agree to an outing with you." Jim glared. "And I will attempt to sound as if I believe it."
"You're a true friend, Spock." He groused, flagging the bartender in hopes of a drink, knowing he'd need it by the time he got backstage at this rate. The crowd hushed as the bartender came with Jim's tequila and he stopped glaring at Spock in order to look at the stage, where Bones was emerging from the back.
The doctor smiled demurely at the crowd, tipping his hat towards them all. "Evenin' folks. How you all doin' tonight?" The cheers that met him weren't actual answers, but it made his smile grow.
"He's got a great smile," Jim said, feeling his own grin.
Behind him, Spock picked up the same jar he had been glaring at and inspected it intently, answering offhandedly, "Of course, Jim."
Jim didn't even qualify that with a look, simply tuned in as Bones said, "Guess I'll get to the singin' then." He picked up his guitar from the stand next to him and strapped it over his shoulder. Jim wasn't surprised to hear that Bones had a great voice. Enough people went on about his singing ability, but hearing about it and hearing it for himself was phenomenally different.
Bones didn't sing about the same things the other honky tonkiers bemoaned and slapped knees to, but Jim thought he could and it would still be attention grabbing. Hell, he could sing the dictionary and with his voice, deep and gravelly, people would swoon left and right. Jim was captivated and found himself wanting to move closer almost as if he was under a spell. He stood from his seat, turned briefly to tell Spock that he would be up front, but stopped when he saw the other man carefully opening the jar he had been studying.
It was too good. Jim watched the scene unfold under the melody of Bones' voice as his friend peeled the lid off and sniffed cautiously. It had to be pretty bad because not one but two brows lifted as far as possible. Jim laughed loudly, not even trying to hide it when dark eyes narrowed in on him. After a moment, he tilted his drink towards the front and walked away, still chuckling.
When he spun back towards the stage, his eyes went automatically to Bones in all of his glory and almost felt his heart triple in rate when he saw amused hazel eyes on him. A small smile was on Bones' face as he continued singing about… ha! About them. It must have showed on his face when he realized, because that smile grew, lightening his entire face. Jim took a seat at the closest table, awe coursing throughout his system. He had been so sure that Bones didn't consider him anything more than the annoying outlaw that wouldn't leave him be. He listened to the rest of the set, which was only about fifteen minutes and although the rest of the songs were lighthearted and didn't really focus on them or whatever story they were weaving together, Bones didn't take his eyes off Jim. By the end, as Bones was heading backstage again, Spock came up behind him… with the jar and a fork in hand.
Jim momentarily forgot his goal as he stared in horror at the atrocity on Spock's fork. "Are you eating that?"
"That is not the matter at hand, Jim. We are not certain how long Doctor McCoy will stay… here," he gave the country bar a look of disdain, or as much of one as Spock would ever display.
Jim nodded, still looking at his friend incredulously. He downed the rest of his drink and stood, mentally preparing his plan of attack as they moved through the bar patrons and snuck unnoticed backstage. In front of the door they needed, he stopped, gathered his thoughts and turned back to Spock, trying desperately not to notice or, oh god, smell the jar. "Okay," he said with a steady tone. "Remember you want to make me look good."
Spock most definitely didn't roll his eyes. "As difficult as it may be, I will endeavor to paint you in a decent and somewhat believable light." He then pushed open the door and motioned Jim through.
Jim glared but stepped through quickly, noticing instantly Bones' very, very touchable ass. It took some control not to ruin his plan by reaching out for a quick grope. Bones turned around before his self-control was obliterated, thank god. He noticed Jim and behind him Spock, and his face fell a little. Dumb mark: Jim. He had forgotten in his desperation to have Spock as his wingman that Bones was not his biggest fan. With a put upon sigh, he asked, "Now don't tell me that the hobgoblin's gonna hand me a note saying check 'yes' or 'no'?"
Jim frowned at the turnaround from the smiling man on stage to the grumbling doctor he knew and loved. Behind him, he could practically hear Spock's brow hike up. The sound of gentle tapping and Jim looked back to see Spock pulling something red out of the jar. Horrorstruck, he couldn't answer Bones, though Spock had no problem… the bastard.
"On the contrary, I am here as Jim's wingman, I believe was the term he used." Bones' brow went up this time, but Jim wasn't sure if it was the statement or the thing on his fork. "I am here to tell you that Jim, despite his status as an outlaw and bank robber, is an exemplary man, worthy of many commendations and with a true heart that gives until there is nothing left of himself. Were you to perhaps spend an evening with him it is my belief that you would see this as well." Jim was shocked at that, at his friend's praise, and then of course Spock ruined it by turning his attention to Jim, asking, "I think quite believable, do you not?"
Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Spock. Thanks."
Spock nodded benevolently and took the bite of his red… thing. "I'll take my leave then if I am no longer needed."
Surprisingly it was Bones who called him back. "Hold up! I have a question." Spock tilted his head curiously. "The hell are you eating?"
Spock looked down at his jar, then back up to the doctor. "I have no comment on the matter. Please, participate in an outing with Jim… before he simply kidnaps you." Then the man left, fork tapping against the jar.
Left alone with Bones and completely mortified that his backup plan had been exposed, Jim rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the other man through his lashes. "Well, that went about as well as I had feared."
Bones scoffed and shook his head, but the smile was playing at the corner of his lips. "It's about par for your course, kid. You got a habit of invitin' disaster around." He looked up, eyes glittering. "So you really needed someone to come and tell me you aren't as bad as I think?"
"Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time. You didn't particularly seem to like me…"
Bones rolled his eyes. "Didn't turn ya in any of the times you landed your fool ass in my hospital. Thought that mighta been a hint." He did have a point, Jim conceded. "Didn't through your drunk ass outta my barn. Thought that was a big clue. But no, I had to write you a damn song and tell half of hell and creation to make sure you'd be here… Infant."
Jim flipped him off but he was grinning ear to ear and felt as if it might split his head when Bones retuned it. "So, I should bring you flowers?" Jim asked, laughing when Bones glared. "Okay, no flowers. Bourbon?"
"That'd be a nice start for all the gray hairs you've given me."
Jim took a few steps toward him. "That's just the start?"
"Yeah!" he said, imperiously. "Cause after that, ya owe me for that song. Then there's the fact that you forced me to be enamored with you, an outlaw of all things and then… oh ho, boy lemme tell you about the fact you haven't even kissed me yet."
That was all Jim needed to hear before he reached out to haul the object of his affections close, lips almost touching, feeling Bones' breath ghosting against his face. He smiled when the doctor growled. "I was just building up the suspense."
"Bullshit."
Then they were kissing as if that was all they were born to do, lips and teeth and tongue meshing and Jim was in Nirvana. Bones tasted of whiskey and a little like cigarette smoke, which was odd since he had never seen Bones smoke. He tried to pull Bones closer, inhabit the same space as him. He definitely copped that feel of the other man's ass, which was glorious. Unfortunately it also seemed to trigger a talky button, because Bones pulled away briefly to say, "You get arrested and I'll kick your ass so hard."
"Right," Jim muttered, going for more smooches.
Bones didn't seem to mind, nibbled his lower lip before pulling away again. "And if you have to do that running shit you do, I want week's notice."
Jim tried not to get giddy at what that implied, but his mind was otherwise occupied as Bones kissed him, this time letting his hands wander. And then again Bones drew away and this time before he could speak, Jim said, "Bones, can we draw up the marriage agreement on our date tomorrow? You're ruining the kissing, here."
Bones nodded and soon after they left, not even trying to find Spock and his mysterious jar.
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InnocentGuilt
