Disclaimer: I own nothing, make no money from anything, and am writing this purely for personal enjoyment.
Story notes: you know those stories that replace Naruto with a whole different character who just happens to have the same name? Well, here's another one.
Warning: I don't watch or read the source series, so in addition to the obvious AU of the whole story, you will also trip over randomly AU (AKA 'wrong') facts. Feel free to tell me about them, though, and I'll see if I can fix them without breaking the story.
Chapter 1: The future is a rolled up parchment
Naruto had been running the ragged edge of his emotions for more than a day. It had started with the anxiety of taking the test and the depression of failing. Then there was the exaltation at the retest, the determination and then frustration of the scroll, and the relief for his eventual success. Finally, there was the horror of betrayal, and the grief and fear for his tenant. The only thing that had kept him together was the constant action. And now, like a light switched off, everything was over. Mizuki-sensei was defeated, Iruka-sensei was safe, and he was only one person again.
"Close your eyes," Iruka-sensei said to him.
Confused, Naruto obeyed. Stupid, he cursed himself instantly. Had the previous half hour not taught him anything? Don't trust anyone. He snapped them open and shoved Iruka-sensei away before he could to tie something around his head. Iruka-sensei groaned, and Naruto winced in sympathy. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have pushed the injured man, but Iruka-sensei shouldn't have been doing weird stuff to him either.
"What are you doing?"
"Making you a genin."
Naruto half slipped, the grass under his feet slick with fluids he'd rather not think about. If only that could be true then Naruto would be the happiest person in Konoha. But it couldn't. He steadied himself against a tree trunk and spoke without looking at Iruka-sensei. "You know, this has been a really, really bad day. I didn't think you'd be mean enough to mock me about it."
"I'm not mocking you, Naruto. I'm really making you a genin."
Iruka-sensei sounded awfully sincere. Even a little hurt. And he had said all those things about how he understood what Naruto was going through, and how he acknowledged him as his student…
No. Iruka-sensei was a ninja after all, and had already proven he could fool Naruto when he wanted to. Naruto couldn't carry on making all his decisions based on what would make people like him because they just used that against him. He would have to think things through logically.
"That doesn't make any sense. Today, despite being one of the bestest students at the academy, you refused to pass me because I couldn't do just one of those stupid jutsu. You said I would just get killed as a ninja. I thought you really believed that! And, what, now it's all okay? Why? Because you finally realised I'm lonely? Because Mizuki-teme was a prick to me? Because I found out about the Kyuubi and didn't go on a murdering rampage? What?"
"Well, you did succeed at the Kage Bunshin."
"I've succeeded at far more difficult jutsu than that before. Hell, I've created more difficult jutsu than that. But it was always 'those don't count, Naruto. Those aren't real jutsu, Naruto. Shut up and sit down, Naruto.'"
"Naruto..."
Naruto heard the thump of Iruka-sensei sitting down again. He waited for Iruka-sensei to continue, not willing to let go of his anger or the argument just yet. If they'd been holding him back all this time because of a stupid fox trapped in his tummy, he needed to know that they weren't just promoting him now for the same reason. Iruka-sensei said nothing more. It felt like the whole world was holding its breath, the crickets ceasing their drone and only a muffled dripping breaking the silence. His patience wore out and he turned to see Iruka-sensei slumped against a tree, the early morning sun giving him a halo of light.
Iruka-sensei wasn't giving Naruto the silent treatment; he was unconscious.
"Shit. Damn it. Shit. Okay, let's get you to hospital and let everyone know I'm not a traitor. Or at least convince them I didn't steal the scroll, since I can't expect miracles. If they don't have a kill-on-sight order on me or something."
Naruto summoned another half dozen clones, and managed to henge one into a stretcher. His mind tried to wander into pranks he could play using this new technique, but he recalled it firmly to duty. One clone set about tying up Mizuki-teme and finished by sitting on him. The remaining four picked up Iruka-sensei, while the real Naruto applied pressure to the wound on his back. It wasn't closing up the way his wounds always did, but this was what they had said to do in that pointless first aid section, so maybe this kind of thing happened often? Iruka-sensei's breathing also sounded weird, but he had no idea what to do about that, so he just ignored it. He set off back into the gloom of the forest, the shadows darkening as the sun continued to rise.
Less than five minutes later (after tripping over only one tree root and dispelling only one clone by running into a tree!) Naruto found them suddenly surrounded by ANBU. Without giving him a chance to even open his mouth, they took Iruka away from him and picked him up bodily. He shouted and wriggled to get away, but one of the masked freaks had his arms trapped and another kept a solid grip on his legs. So much for that, then. They wouldn't be treating a real Shinobi of the leaf like this, Naruto was sure. That didn't mean he was going to give up, though, and the ANBU holding his arms started twisting one. But pain wouldn't stop him either, and it wasn't until he realised he was being taken into the Hokage's tower that he stopped struggling. It was where he wanted to go, after all, even if he didn't appreciate the transportation.
They took him straight through into the office and Naruto eyed Jiji's soft and comfortable chair longingly. It was tomorrow already, and the sudden warmth of the room felt like a physical weight on his battered body.
"Jiji! It wasn't me! I mean, it was me, but it wasn't my fault!"
"Relax, Naruto. You've done very well tonight."
"Oh." Naruto found himself unceremoniously dumped on the wooden floor. Naruto scrambled to his feet. "Ow! That hurt! Where do you bastards get off thinking you can just—"
"Naruto," reprimanded Jiji.
"But—".
"Enough. Thank you, ANBU-san-tachi. Please report back to your captains."
Naruto glared at them as they faded back into the shadows. Damn mute bullies. As soon as they were out of sight, he turned back to Jiji, his words practically falling over each other as he rushed to tell his story. He was well into the third explanation of just how much of a bastard Mizuki-teme was when the Jiji interrupted him.
"Well, that does sound very exciting. After all that work, we should let you get some sleep now, hmmm? After all, we need our genins to be well-rested."
"You mean you really are making me a genin?" asked Naruto, quietly.
"Yes, Naruto. Your performance tonight shows you deserve it. I'm very proud of you for defending Iruka-sensei like that."
Naruto couldn't keep eye contact, staring instead at the fine haze drifting away from Jiji's pipe. Naruto couldn't just accept that either man had his best interests at heart, not anymore. But the memory of what he now realised was blood dripping into leaves while he was busy being self-absorbed made him squirm. The floor beneath him creaked as he shifted his weight.
"Is... is he going to be okay?"
"He'll be just fine. Probably cursing us already for letting him get trapped by the medic-nins. Now, Naruto, just because you are now a genin, that isn't any reason to stop working at the things you are weak in."
Before Naruto could say anything more, he was loaded up with documents and information packs and escorted firmly out the door. He walked at half speed back to his apartment, touching the hitae he had been given every few seconds. He was glad that Iruka-sensei was going to be okay, and he was very glad that the man hadn't lied to him, and he really was going to be a genin. Unless Jiji was just in on the joke. No, that was too much. They wouldn't do that to him. He was pretty sure. But could they do it that way even if they wanted to? Every time he asked Jiji for anything, Jiji was always telling him how it was against the rules and he couldn't do that. He'd been too gullible to investigate when Mizuki-teme made his suggestion, and he wasn't going to be caught the same way again. Although he was a little doubtful about his ability to do it. The rules and laws of Konoha they'd been given in class had just been so confusing.
Wait! He'd had only minor problems understanding the Forbidden Scroll – maybe he'd have similar luck with other scrolls if, instead of asking for them, he stole them. Then no one would ever be able to fool him with fake tests again! And it wasn't like the reference room was a secure location. He had a few days before he had to be back at the academy for team assignments. He was going to go all out on this, and be the most informed genin on the rules of Konoha ever! Believe it!
Orochimaru tapped the communication from his former superior thoughtfully. Danzo had finally agreed to assist him with the 'invasion' of Konoha, in exchange for certain targets being destroyed, and others left intact. He could do this now, for the next change of his body. Bringing his plans forward would just mean increasing his control of the Kazekage. Even the most eager of war hawks would eventually notice that the invasion plans weren't actually intended to succeed. He didn't need the man asking uncomfortable questions about his true intentions.
He was a little worried about Danzo's true intentions, however. The man wasn't nearly as clever as he thought he was, but his twisted logic and need to play puppet master did make him unpredictable. Orochimaru pulled out the intelligence reports from Konoha from about when Danzo would have made his decision. Ahh. This might be it. Hatake Kakashi was going to be assigned a team including the Kyuubi brat and the Last Uchiha. The Jinchuuriki would be passing this year, no matter what his scores might say, and would then be promptly whisked out of Danzo's control. Honestly, the man had a monomania about the brat that rivalled the Akatsuki's. That was fine, though. He didn't care what Danzo intended to do about the Kyuubi brat as long as he left the Uchiha brat alone for Orocimaru to pick up.
The Chuunin Exams presented themselves as an obvious opportunity, so Orochimaru didn't need to fake a cleverer plan for his chaos. Other people might have considered it a risk to assume that Hatake Kakashi would nominate his cute little students, but Orochimaru had detailed files on the man. Sasuke-chan would be nicely present and conveniently isolated; Konoha itself conspiring to gift him to Orochimaru. Orochimaru wouldn't be rude enough to refuse.
Itachi stalked out of the meeting, not even bothering to conceal his fury. Something was going on with Orochimaru and some of the other members knew about it and weren't telling him. He wasn't Sasori, to go off hunting the bastard just because he heard the name. He was one of the most stable members of Akatsuki, and he deserved to hear what was happening with the person who had tried to steal his body.
Madara wasn't starting to suspect anything, was he? No, not more than usual, Itachi decided. He'd have been Jinchuuriki chow by now if Madara had. But something was going on, and they were keeping it from him. It seemed like the value of his position here was decreasing by the day.
Itachi indulged in an unusual physical display of irritation, and regretted it at once. He fumed impotently though the long moments it took for him to recover his breath. At this rate, he would die of the damn illness before Sasuke got anywhere. He'd sworn to himself that he would give his life to make Sasuke strong enough to battle Madara. He just hadn't expected everything would take this long. Itachi cursed the peace-time policies for recruiting ninjas. His little brother had almost reached the age at which Itachi has been forced to kill the clan and was only now graduating from the academy. Itachi closed his eyes.
No. He would have faith. He would find out what was being hidden from him. He would see his brother grow strong – stronger than Itachi. Itachi would be there to make sure of it. Madara would not win.
