HAT: The Random Pairing Generator made me do it! I mean, it's there... if you squint reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyhard.

Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot because if I did own CATS, I'd have Blue Bell Ice cream dropped from the humans rather than a boot.


Alonzo runs a paw through his head fur and wonders what he's to do now. Cassandra's all, but ripped out his heart physically. Granted she was high off of catnip, but still, she didn't fight it. With his heart shattered he sits on top of a pile of trash and silently cries. He knows that toms aren't supposed to cry, but... it hurts too much not to cry his heart out at this betrayal. He wonders if Demeter knows what her mate's doing in his drunken state. He rubs his eyes and lets out a ragged sob despite how hard he keeps it in.

"What's wrong, lad?"

The black and white tom jumps and whirls around to look at an orange tom wearing a waistcoat. "S-Skimble..."

Glass-green eyes stare sympathetically at the tom. "What is it?"

The Guardian feels like he's going to break any second and rushes forward, hugging the older tom and burying his face in the clothed chested of the other tom. Arms immediately wrap around him and he hears sweet nothings in his ears as he sobs, no words coming out, but it's clear it's due to heartbreak.

"C-Cassandra," he mutters when at last he can speak.

He feels fingers gently run through his head fur and he calms a little, enough for his cries to die down to sniffling. "So, she's not dead... so she must've cheated, am I right?"

A slow nod. "Y-yes."

A sigh. "Just because she cheats once doesn't mean you should end it with her. Now if she does it a second time, I suppose it makes sense now, but not the first."

Bright blue eyes lift to bright green ones. "It still hurts."

"I know, lad, I know, but it's something that you have to deal with."

"I can see why you stay single... so you won't have to experience heartbreak like this," he murmurs, resting his forehead on the marmalade tom's shoulder.

"No, I feel that heartbreak all the time..."

The black and white tom's head lifts in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Every time I look at my wee kits, I see the queen that I was absolutely in love with... the one that I would've done anything for... and I know that those kits aren't mine. I know that we couldn't possibly be together and that we broke it off before then, but it still hurts to know that she was with someone else."

The bi-colored tom winces, remembering how in love this tom was at one point. He's been in love only a pawful of times and every single time they leave him. No wonder he gave up, he's had his heart broken more than enough times to want to avoid romance for the rest of his life.

"But they were loyal while with you... that should count for something..."

"One of us would've cheated for some reason or another. Hoepfully intoxicated or high or something of the like," he murmurs. "And we could've worked it out."

Skimbleshanks never ceases to amaze the patched tom. "Th-thanks Skimble..."

A grin. "No problem... you're exhausted," he notes before picking up the tom. "Come on, you can sleep on my couch tonight... maybe I'll make you my double shot tea if it helps."

"Sure, that sounds good," mumbles the tom as he rests his head on the other's shoulder and drifts off.


HAT: I'm coming out (I want the world to know, got to let it show!~) with a lot of one-shots aren't I?

Mungojerrie: You think?

HAT: Jerrie! *hugs Mungojerrie* I missed you!

Mungojerrie: *hugs back before yanking her off* Okay, you nearly killed me, but I guess I missed you, too.

HAT: Guess?!

Mungojerrie: *holds up tail with a bandage on it* Remember the last black hole?

HAT: Oh, yeah... well, I mean... you did trip into the hot sauce.

Mungojerrie: That doesn't matter! Remember when you-

HAT: *nervously laughs* A-a-aaaaanyway! Will you please say it?

Mungojerrie: *smirks* I'll tell them.

HAT: NO!

Mungojerrie: She was falling off of the T-rex's head and when Skimble came in with the pimp suit she ended up biting his pant leg to keep from falling into the dinosaur's mouth.

HAT: *gapes in horror* JERRIE!

Mungojerrie: *smirks* Review.