Greetings, readers. I am about to embark on something I haven't done in quite some time: all out RomCom. Hopefully I haven't lost my comedic proclivity (which was at one time, quite biting...no, really) in my poetic ramblings…
This comes from "When Harry Met Sally"...hilarious, if you've never seen it...do...and from some PM's between JaninaM8 and myself. If you haven't read her stuff (in particular "Shiver Shiver" and "Scandal")...do it, especially if you enjoy AU Lokane. She will be keeping me on my toes, since she is deft in her humor and wildly familiar with the film.
Also, I need to add the caveat that I might not be able to update this daily. Furthermore, this might be it for a while, I have a VERY busy fall ahead of me…so after the second week of September or so, I likely won't be writing for some time. (if this isn't finished before that, I'll continue to publish it until it is done…but without the frequency as is my MO.)
Warning: definitely an M rating…though playfully so.
"Loki…" moaned the woman beneath him…"Oh, gods…" she continued…
"Loki!"
That was strange…he didn't think that he had a brother kink…that voice was decidedly Thor's.
The woman squealed in her pleasure, and he ignored the odd call he had heard before…and though there was nothing especially transfixing about his current conquest, he enjoyed the chase, not to mention the reward of release.
"Loki…stop right now."
And now he stopped, and looked in the direction of the voice through his veil of tousled hair.
Yes. Thor was there, looking a bit disgusted and very irritated.
"Brother…I know that this is likely quite beyond your normal scope..not wanting to hear whatever enchanting thing you have to say…but I am rather engaged at present, and though your physique is nice enough, I honestly do not fancy a menage a trois with my brother…hammer or no…" and he turned away, and began afresh in his business of coitus.
"I don't mind, Loki…" said the woman looking at Thor.
Loki stopped, rose up, and scowled at her. "Well, dear…you certainly know how to sour the mood. I think we are finished here…" and he climbed from the bed and conjured his clothes.
She pulled a blanket around her, and smiling weakly, left.
Thor shook his head at his brother. "Poor lass. You are a villain, Loki."
"Oh please," and he folded his arms across his chest. "Do not offer me your strictures on what is and what is not appropriate behavior toward women. You have had many…many…." he said with feeling. "Conquests…"
"I am always respectful."
"As am I."
"You just treated her like a whore."
"You interrupted a very precarious moment; had you been witness to the seduction, you would hardly hold that belief…and I cannot claim to want to enjoy intercourse with you, and as that was suggested by the lady, I dismissed her as a turn-off."
"It was suggested by you."
"As a joke."
Thor threw his arms up. "Enough! Frigga requires your presence immediately."
Loki rolled his eyes, and followed his brother out of his room. "Tell me, Thor…how many women do you seduce nightly? It must present quite the challenge to recall all of their names when you happen upon them in the light of day."
"Shut up, Loki."
"And I daresay they are left rather bereft of respect, as you term it…your dismissals are legendary…" he whispered.
"What is your point?"
"That you are much more the miscreant when it comes to seducing ladies than I…"
At this, Thor stopped and looked at Loki. "Have you ever loved, brother?"
"Have you?"
"Yes."
Loki's eyebrow arched. "I cannot believe you."
"I do not care….have you loved, Loki?"
"No."
"No. So you wouldn't understand the need to fill that hole when it leaves…"
Loki smirked and looked away. "Oh, I understand the need to fill a hole well enough…"
"You are crass and utterly pathetic," and he began to walk once more.
Loki laughed. "And you, brother mine, have no sense of humor."
They entered Frigga's tapestry room.
"Well, mother…" Loki began. "You required my presence urgently?"
"Indeed, yes. Loki…there is a matter on Midgard I need you to see to."
Loki sighed, and whined his objection a bit. "Can't Thor do it? He is much better suited to dealing with mortals. He likes his toys, much the way they do."
"Toys…?" his brother sounded confused.
"Yes…that hammer…"
"Isn't a toy," Thor retorted.
"No? Well, your ridiculous cape serves as a costume."
"You wear a cape."
"Not at the dinner table…do you wait in anxious anticipation to be suddenly called to battle…? To whisk yourself away in grand ceremony, your scarlet cape billowing behind you?"
Thor scowled at Loki.
"Enough!" yelled the Queen. "Loki…this issue is particularly suited to you…I have reason to believe that a sorcerer is on Midgard, that he's seeking for himself an apprentice."
"I fail to see…" Loki began to protest.
"I want you to investigate it."
"I…"
"Do not protest…this is urgent," she added quickly.
Loki's mouth snapped shut. "Very well. What do you know of it?"
"There are a few possible mortals whom he has visited…I have their names…" and she handed him a scroll.
"And you wish for me to visit these mortals?"
"Yes, and stealthily interview them."
He looked at the paper. Five names.
Frigga continued…"I imagine you'll be able to glean any magical influence on these people."
He shrugged. "I suppose."
"Yes…and so you should leave posthaste…"
"Truly, Frigga, shouldn't Thor go? His mind is much more suited to the idle workings of the mortals'…"
"Loki, I shall pummel you here and now if you don't cease your incessantly meek attempts to rile me," growled Thor.
"Ah…but you readily take the bait, Thor, as is to be expected…you do so adore to argue, and I love to indulge you…"
"Loki…" he continued.
"It reminds me of a dog," he continued, looking to the ceiling in reflection. "…chasing its tail in mad pursuit…never able to truly capture its prey…"
"Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?"
"Aye... you, brother."
Thor rounded on him and stared into his eyes. "I am the dog. You…you witless cur…"
Loki laughed and Frigga yelled. "Stop! Loki…prepare for your departure this instant."
"I am hardly witless, Thor…you would do well to remember that…" he whispered.
He left.
What a tiresome task his mother set before him.
Midgard.
Deplorable.
He looked at the list:
Sam Miller
John Mills
Sarah Young
Steven Sanders
Jane Foster
He smirked. Perhaps he would visit the ladies first…
Jane Foster was driving to New York to visit her boyfriend at Columbia. She missed him terribly…he was studying law and she was at MIT studying physics. She hummed along with Van Morrison on the radio.
"Sha la la la la la la la la la la ti da…" she smiled at the tune.
It was fully dark now, and the street lights beamed the asphalt in a completely unnerving way…it glistened and added a glare which was most inconvenient for navigating a winding road at night.
Out of nowhere…he suddenly was there….a tall man, waving down her car…she needed to swerve out of the way to avoid crashing into him.
Jane pulled over and got out of the car.
"What the FUCK is your problem?! I almost killed you!" she yelled at the man.
"I'm very sorry, miss…my vehicle broke down a ways back…I'm attempting to obtain transport…"
"What." Jane looked at him with a doubtful stare. Was this guy for real?
"I…require a means to get to…another place…?" he said uncertainly.
"Yeah…I got it, but it was the way you said it," she smirked at him. "You're not from around here, I take it?"
"Ah, no…bit of a traveller…"
"You're a nomad? Is that even a thing anymore…?"
"Not exactly…"
Jane shook her head and laughed. "A gypsy?" and now she chuckled. "Wait until I tell Jim…"
His face lit up. "Then you'll provide me with transport?" he picked up a bag.
"Yeah…I guess so…but I'm gonna need to check your stuff and frisk you. Can't be too careful…even if you are British or whatever."
"I'm sorry…? Frisk?" he backed away a small step.
And Jane approached. "Yeah…I'm gonna run my hands along your sides, your back…and inspect your bag."
The man arched his eyebrow at her. "Well…how could I object to that?"
"Careful, man. I know Judo," that wasn't entirely true, but Jane was confident that she could do some damage to this guy…he was tall, but not terribly big otherwise.
Jane went over and stationed herself behind him, and ran her hands over his sides, close to his pockets, and his waistband.
The man laughed a bit as she did this.
"Are you ticklish?"
"Not exactly, but I feel as though I should introduce myself now that you've become a bit more intimate with my body."
Jane then went to his bag, shaking her head.
This guy was weird.
Books.
Paper.
And rope?
"What's this?" Jane asked, holding up the rope.
"Ah…well. For my…girlfriend…she likes to be restrained…"
"Ew. Fine…I'm taking this," she replied and then put the heavy bag into the back seat of her Honda. "Alright, get in."
And he did.
"Where are you going?" Jane asked.
"Where are you headed?"
"New York."
"Perfect!" he replied.
"You want me to drive you to New York?"
"Yes…if you're agreeable…?"
"What is with you?"
"I…"
Jane started the engine. "What's your name?"
"Sam. Sam Miller," and he offered his hand to her. "And you are…?
"Jane Foster," and she shook it.
"Well, Miss Foster…it was a pleasure having you frisk me," he smirked at her.
"Jane…and don't be weird…I just met you."
"Apologies."
Jane looked at him with a more discerning eye before she pulled away.
He was pretty good looking. He had sharp features…short, light brown curly hair, and a soothing voice.
And he was an audacious flirt.
"S'okay. Just try to tone it down a bit."
This was going to be an interesting couple of hours.
