Kairi wrestled in his grasp as he dragged her down a hallway. There was no way in HELL she was going to go anywhere with this man. "Get away from me! Get away from me, you douche! Leave me alone!" she shrieked.

Saix chuckled mercilessly. "Douche? Is that some sort of colloquial insult where you come from?"

Kairi bit his hand. He yelped and loosened his grip for a second. Kairi ran for her life, only to be stopped five inches from where she started. "Will you just cut it out?" asked Saix, frustrated beyond belief. "I could just knock you out. Would you prefer that?"

Kairi's eyes widened. "NO!" She struggled even harder. Saix's hands were started to hurt from gripping her arms. Kairi then resorted to screaming. "Help!" she shrieked. "Rape! Oh my God, he's going to rape me!"

Saix was so surprised, he stopped and laughed, amused. "Kairi, I am a sixty-year old man."

"So?"

"Um, hellooo? I don't have much of a sex drive."

"Then why is your hand on my chest?"

Saix stepped back suddenly, indignant. "It was not!"

Kairi used this opportunity to run away again. Again, it failed. "AAAAAAAUGH!" she screamed out of pure frustration as Saix stopped and pushed her into a vacant room.

The room was blindingly white, void of any decoration, furniture, or motivational posters. The only thing of interest was the big purple cage in the middle of the room.

After adjusting to the stark whiteness of the room, Kairi surveyed the room. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "you could really do some cool things with this room. You could paint it blue, put in a foosball table…maybe even put in a window or two…"

"Shut up!" Saix roared. And with that, he threw her into the cage.

Kairi sat up, rubbing her head and whining "…the hell?" She stood up defiantly and crossed her arms, pouting.

"Now, you just sit there and look pretty," said Saix, "and when Sora comes to get you, we can destroy him."

Kairi gasped. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, we would."

"Sora's smarter than that."

"Oh dear, I hope not," Saix said with faked sympathy.

Kairi rolled her eyes and stuck her big head through the bars. "These are really far apart, you know. I could totally get through these."

Saix laughed condescendingly. "You could not. We're the bad guys. You can't escape from the bad guys!"

"Watch me!" Kairi walked between the bars and stood next to Saix. She folded her arms and tapped her chin. "I hate to be the one to tell ya, but you're going to have to come up with something better than this."

Saix looked worried. "Shit. Hmm. Well, uh….shit."

Kairi walked back into the cage. "Maybe that was just a one time thing. Now that I'm back in here, I doubt I'll be able to get out again." Would he buy it?

Nah. Saix raised his hand and there was a flash of light. The bars had doubled so it was impossible to escape. "You're right. I think you'll be stuck in here for quite awhile now," Saix agreed.

"Assbag."

"Insolent brat." Saix turned to walk out of the room. Kairi mouthed Fuck you and silently flipped him off. He waved before closing the door behind him.

A few hours later…

Kairi was bored. She'd never been so effing bored in her life. She had already played the guessing game with herself, and managed to lose. Pluto came over and licked her face. Ewww…she wiped the drool off her cheek and frowned at him. Her stomach growled with hunger. Plus, she was really starting to get uncomfortable in the bladder area. She considered peeing on the floor, just to spite the Organization, but decided against it.

Kairi stood up and called out. "Um, hello? Is anyone there? I kind of have to go to the bathroom. Hello?" This continued for several minutes.

Well, enough was enough. Kairi screamed as loud as she could. "Oh my GOD! I am SO FUCKING BORED!" she shrieked. "Get me OUT of here! I'm STARVING! Are you TRYING to starve me to death? HUH?...and where's a BATHROOM when you need one? I HAVE TO PEE!..." She ranted and raved for quite awhile until a hand clapped over her mouth, startling her.

"Shut UP," said Axel, who had appeared behind her.

She entangled herself from his hand and backed up, fuming. "Oh, it's you again," she growled.

"Yeah, nice to see you too, sugar," Axel said sarcastically. "Now what was this about needing a bathroom?"

"If you don't show me to bathroom in five seconds, I am going to pee all over you," Kairi said venomously, spitting the words out like daggers.

"Well, I can help you with that. But for a price." Axel had a dangerous, almost greedy look in his eyes.

"Wh-what might that be?" Kairi asked, wavering. Axel bent down and whispered something in her ear. She backed away. "No…"

"Yes."

"NO! I'm not going to touch you!"

"Okay then. Have it your way." Axel turned around.

The need to urinate was overwhelming. "Okay, fine! I'll do it!" said Kairi bravely. She walked up to Axel. "Are you ready?"

"Ready." Axel took off his cloak, as it might get in the way of their…activities.

Kairi took a deep breath, closed her eyes, reached for Axel, and…began scratching the Nobody's back.

"Oh, yeah…" Axel's shoulders relaxed. "A little more to the right…up…up…ahhhh…" Kairi rolled her eyes and continued in silence.

A minute later she stopped. "Was that good enough? Can I go now?"

Axel stretched and put his cloak back on. "Thanks, babe. You've got some skills."

Kairi turned her nose up at him. "Why couldn't you have had someone else scratch your back for you?"

Axel laughed half-heartedly. "Well, I can't ask any of the guys, because they'll think I'm gay or something. And Larxene…she hates me. And you've seen her hands. It'd be the perfect opportunity to kill me."

"Ah. I see," said an impatient Kairi. "Well, now you have to hold up your end of the bargain. Take me to a bathroom!" she demanded.

"Oh! Yeah…hang on…" Axel opened a portal and fished around a bit till he pulled out…

"A bucket?" said Kairi disbelievingly.

Axel shrugged. "Nobodies don't have hearts, right?"

"Okay…"

"Well, it just so happens that Nobodies lack all other internal organs as well."

"And?" Kairi was jumping up and down, holding herself.

"Nobodies don't have kidneys. Or bladders, for that matter." Axel sighed. "We don't have bathrooms in the Castle That Never Was. Sorry." He handed her the bucket.

Kairi's face turned purple. "I—I hate you!" she shrieked, at a loss for words, throwing it at him.

Axel tossed the bucket back to her and smiled impishly as he faded away through a portal. "Consider it "The Toilet That Never Was."

Kairi was pissed. Then, Kairi pissed. Into the bucket, of course.