Disclaimers: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

Spoilers: Duet, Sateda

A/N: Written for the McKay/Weir Ficathon 2006, response to a challenge (#7) from Alice Ahn - Weir and McKay locked in a closet by Zelenka, Sheppard, and Teyla. Full details and links at mcweir central website. Beta by Keenir. In the last minute scramble for more plot bunnies, Keenir also answered this challenge. No one minds, do they. :D

Summary: Their colleagues think they would be good together. A plan is required. McKay Weir. Tag for Sateda. Humor Romance.


Chapter One

"Radek. Could you, uh...?"

"Rodney?"

"Well, it would save me getting up, if you passed me that datapad from the bench."

Radek smirked. He crossed to the bench near McKay. McKay, he could see, was lying on his stomach on the floor, in front of a laptop. He leaned down and handed the device to the Chief Scientist.

Rodney rolled onto his side and grabbed it out of Radek's hand. "Thanks."

Radek folded his arms and smiled. "How long are you going to work like that?"

"Like what?"Rodney replied absently, studying the datapad.

"On the floor."

Rodney craned his neck round to look up at Radek indignantly. "Until my ass stops hurting from the arrow that was stuck in it yesterday, thank you very much!"

Radek snickered. "It seems quite amusing, in hindsight."

Rodney was riled. "No! It was not amusing. It hurt like hell, and I can't sit down or lie on my back. Next time you go off world and get beaten or shot or stuck with an arrow, you see how you like it." He leaned on one arm and rubbed his neck. "Damn, this sucks."

Radek felt suitably chastised. "Sorry, Rodney. Really." He cleared his throat. So, I went to see Ronon earlier, he looked better."

Rodney nodded. "Makes my arrow look like nothing. He must be made of steel or something. I would have been plum butter."

"Dr Weir was there." Radek glanced at Rodney, and saw the reaction he had expected. "She told him to get well soon."

Rodney finally pushed himself up on his arms and shuffled onto his hands and knees, before getting up with greatly exaggerated difficulty. "She, uh, well, actually, I don't remember seeing her when I was in the infirmary." He frowned.

Radek gave him a half smile, "Oh, she was there, a few times. She made sure Carson looked after your posterior."

"Excuse me!"

Radek grinned, "I think she appreciated it very much. You should ask her."

Rodney spluttered, "I shall do no such thing. You'd better keep your crude remarks to yourself. Elizabeth would be mortified!"

"I saw her looking..."

"Shut up."

0o0o0

"How is Rodney?"

"How should I know?"

"You're too busy to visit your Chief Scientist as he recovers?"

"The arrow was removed two days ago."

"I heard the morphine made him all ditzy."

"John! Leave him alone."

Smirk. "Did you see it?"

"The arrow?"

"No."

"Get out."

"You're blushing."

"Oh, you think? Go away."

"Admit it, Elizabeth. You think he's cute."

"Not listening!"

"He likes you, I can tell."

"La la la la la la la go away John leave me alone I'm busy get out."

0o0o0

"Teyla. Elizabeth."

Teyla nodded in acknowledgement as Rodney greeted her and Dr Weir. She watched as he smiled at each of them in turn. She smiled, seeing the difference.

Still unable to sit, Rodney stood beside Dr Weir for the meeting. He looked for all of Athos like it was his rightful place. The way he stood, with his hands behind his back, that look on his face, his body turned slightly so that Dr Weir was honoured. Teyla doubted he realised how his stance looked, or what it conveyed.

She frowned. She tried to recall... yes, Dr McKay had often stood like this in meetings, without any injury to his buttocks. She tried to recall if it was always related to his use of the display screen, but she could not.

Teyla watched Dr Weir look round at Rodney, her hands clasped delicately together. If they were Athosian, they would need to be betrothed to share a look like that in public.

0o0o0

"He's driving me crazy!" John Sheppard threw himself horizontally onto the couch in the rec room.

Radek glanced up from his game of chess with Teyla. "Who?"

John's eyes widened, "Who do you think?"

"Rodney." Radek smiled.

Draping an arm across his eyes, John continued to rant. "He won't stop going on about his ass. It's been days, already. And I wish he would ask Elizabeth out. He needs someone more interested in his backside than me! I've had it up to here with godamn protective clothing requisitions from him."

Teyla and Radek shared a look, amused with John's assessment of their friend.

"I believe they would be happier if they were together," Radek stated.

"If they were Athosian, they would be obligated to be together," Teyla added.

"One of these days I'm just going to lock them in a closet until they make out!" John growled.

There were a few moments of silence as Radek and Teyla exchanged worried looks.

Teyla looked over at the Colonel. "I understood Dr McKay to be claustrophobic. That would not be appropriate."

"Hey, I was kidding." John muttered, and rolled over so he was facing them. "Just kidding, OK?"

Radek looked thoughtful. "Nevertheless, it was an interesting concept. Perhaps if they were forced to share time alone, it may allow them to admit their feelings for each other."

John frowned. "OK. Not a closet, then. Balcony?"

Teyla raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly.

Radek seemed to be thinking hard. "Yes, a balcony would be better. But not locked. That would be too unsettling for him. We would need to arrange a self-imposed stay on the balcony." His eyes were lighting up, so John knew that Radek had a plan. He smiled.

TBC