OK hhii everyone, this is my first ever fanfiction.

trust me i know- it starts out slow but i have SO many ideas for this story.

review and it and tell me what i should work on , i plan on updating about once a week. so yea - hope you stick it through till the end!

trust me- it will be worth it! thanks 3

Forever and a day.

Chapter One: Memories

Santana Point Of View. (SPOV.)

I looked down at the crumbled piece of notebook table that has a neatly written list of grocery list of basic items that should be found at any nearby grocery store, no matter how simplistic shopping for food seemed to everyone else- it was just one of the thing I could not do. Maybe because I never had to do it ever in my life or maybe it was just because I had no patience but as I looked down as read the first thing I was already ready to have a break down in the middle of the isle.

Peanut Butter.

I took a deep inhale and began to aimlessly wonder the aisles till I came across the little brown jars at the other end of the store – of course.

"Chunky, Smooth, Oil free..goober..skippy..jiff..? What the hell is this? All I want is normal peanut butter" I hissed under my breath and closed my eyes trying to remember what the jar at home looked like but all I could remember was a red lid, maybe? It might have been blue, psh for all I knew it could have been the fucking rainbow. I carelessly grabbed a jar and threw it in the cart. In the six years of marriage between Brittney and I, I can honestly still count on one hand how many times I did or I should say, how many times I was allowedto do the shopping for food. It was Britts job to shop and my job to eat. That's how it always has been and the way I liked it. But, she was tired today. I saw it on her milky face as soon as she walked through the door. Still in her dance clothing, her hair pulled back in a messy bun and her face looked like she was half asleep but still just as adorable as ever. I had led her to the bedroom and before I could give her a kiss on the forehead I could see the steady rhythm of her breathing as her chest moved up then back down and I feel the warmth in her breath as she breathed out. So that is why I'am here, trying not to kill myself over a jar of peanut butter.

I tossed the paper to the bottom of my purse and decided I was going to wing the rest of this little shopping trip. Just grab whatever looked good and move on. It didn't take long then to easily fill up the cart halfway with foods that Britt would later be pissed about – but hey, I was trying here. She kinda had to give me some credit on that. When I was satisfied with the contents of the cart I moved to stand inline behind two other people mindlessly playing with the gadgets on the side aisle of the register when I felt a soft vibration in my pocket.

To: Dr. PL

From:BrittBritt

Time: 8:47pm Date: 10/11

-Tana? where are you? I woke up and your not here

-did you have to go back to work?

To: BrittBritt

Time: 8:49pm Date: 10/11

-No babe I was just running some errands while you slept

-are you feeling ok?

To: Dr. PL

From:BrittBritt

Time: 8:50pm Date: 10/11

-yea I just really needed a nap

- it would have been better it you took one with me ;]

To: BrittBritt

Time: 8:52pm Date: 10/11

-we can still nap when we get home ;]

To: Dr. PL

From:BrittBritt

Time: 8:53pm Date: 10/11

-haha 3

-tan… please don't tell me your grocery shopping

To: BrittBritt

Time: 8:56pm Date: 10/11

-What you don't trust me?

-ouch, love you to babe.

-3

To: Dr. PL

From:BrittBritt

Time: 8:58pm Date: 10/11

-no no

-I do :]

-but we all know the cart is either full of junk, or your sitting in the back of a police car for attemptive murder.

I couldn't help but ot laugh at this, it still sometimes (yes, even after 6 years) put me in awe at how well she knew me. I glanced down quickly at the cart and realized that she was right. 90 % of the cart I had picked up when I wondered down the snack aisle but like I said – oh well.

To: BrittBritt

Time: 9:00pm Date: 10/11

-Babe, I don't ATTEMPT murder

- I finish the job right then and there :]

I sent it off grinning to myself and moved up next in the time.

To: Dr. PL

From:BrittBritt

Time: 9:02pm Date: 10/11

-Just come home, I miss you.

I started to text back my reply when I realized I was next in line. I began to unload the contents of the cart unto the register best thowing the peanut butter up there last. With my hand searcing in my purse I began to look for my wallet.

"$67.93 please."

Everything in me stopped working right at the moment. That deep husky voice sent a sudden chill down my spine. My body quickly tensed and I lifted my wallet from my bad and chin up. I felt my blood turn cold and my eyes turned to dagger aiming directly at him. Maybe Britt was right, I might be taking a trip in a police car tonight. I held my breath as I stiffly passed the man a $50.00 and a $20.00 dollar bill, not even wanting to breathe the same air as him. Before he could even hand me the change I had already packed p the cart and was brisk-fully walking from the store. As I existed I exhaled my breath and took a mental note of the store's name, just to make sure I never ever went back there again.

"Holy Fuck! Open!"

My body was having a shake attack and I could not, not matter how hard I tried, get my hand to hold still long enough to get the key through the trunk key hole to pop open the trunk. After a few tries I finally threw the trunk open to my black mercedez bienz (that defiantly stood out in a place like Lima, Ohio) and tossed the food in the back. I was already thinking of the nearest homless shelter (or garbage can) to toss this food into. Just even knowing his greasy, dirty hands touched them, made them all worse them poison to me.

"I thought he was gone! As in never coming back? Hell for a while I thought he feel off the face of the plant and died!" I slammed the trunk shut and had to steady myself of the side of the car. My body was visibly shaking and I needed to calm down before I went home. I took a few deep inhales and forced myself to think of better thinks.

"Your fine San. Stop being so damn scared. Everything is going to be ok. You knew he would come back one day – But most importantly Britt's fine. Just don't let her know he is back. Just keep moving forward, she finally stopped having the nightmares and there's no need to bring them back. "

I forced myself to calm down a little more and leaned over to open the driver's door and slid down into the leather seat. All I wanted now was Britt. Even though I knew she was ok, I still wanted to physically hold her to make sure. I put the key in the starter and drove to the outskirts of Lima back to my wife.

-o- flashback –o-

"Bitch!"

The words echoed under the empty Mckinley High School bleachers. I let out a soft chuckle, because for some reason this guys seems to think that the louder he yells, I just might listen. Psh, What does he expect me to do? Crumble to my knees and cry? Ha, not this girl. Santana Fucking Lopez does not cry over meaningless words.

"Yea, Boo-Hoo im dying over here. Like I've never been called that one before Karofsky."

I barely even made a attempt of putting attitude into the statement I was beginning to find this whole conversation a waste of my time. Yes I had asked him to meet me under here during the Jr. lunch but he thought it was just going to be for a quick some or drink before he rumpled up each other's clothes to make it look like we did the deed.

'Everyone is so perverted'

I thought to myself as I took another inhale of my cigarette. The real reason I was still stuck under here is because im tired of the game him and I have been playing. I was planning on calling it quits then finding my Britts but he for some reason could not get it thought him head that we are no longer a thing. I was tired of hiding who I was, true I wasn't ready to tell the world, but I was ready to commit myself to one person and I think we all know who that one person is.

"Look, Karofsky, maybe YOU forgot, but WE were never really a think, remember? And here's the thing – I donts needs ya anymore. Because unlike you I have accepted that I'm….different. That I'm ga-"

His mouth gaped open and cut me off before I could even finish my sentence.

"Ha! I don't care what you are but don't drag me into it. Im not ga.."

He stumbled over even saying the word – how cute.

"gay" I finished for him.

"I'm not fucking gay Lopez! And I know we are not gonna break up"

His sausage fingers pointed from himself back to me and I couldn't hold it in anymore. A laugh escaped from my lips and his face started to turn as red as my 'devils red' lipstick that I had lifted from my moms personal makeup collection.

"look babe, I get it. You like the idea of having me as your girlfriend because that way no one can question what kind of porn you watch in your free time. Like I said – I'm not judging, but we are done. Here I will even spell it for you if it makes it easier. D-O-N-E got it? This game we have going on, its wasting my time"

I shifted my weight to one hip and started to pick at my nails indicating that I was bored now and done with this conversation as well as him. When I looked back up I saw him clench his jaws and take a step back- yup I won and he knew it. It humored me how I was quiet possibly the only person on this plant that Dave would never lay a hand on. Not because he 'cared' about me or that I was his 'girlfriend' (well.. ex) but because I put the Lopez fear in him.

"Now please Dave, gets out my face fores' I splits yours. Got it?"

He took another step back and bumped into a stand leg before turning to walk away from me.

"fine you know what? Fuck you Lopez! But I swear, if you ever tell anyone about me. You will regret it. Understand? "

His voice was stern, almost like I was a dog and he was commanding me. I grinned and cocked my head to the side.

"Oh hey! Was that a confession? I guess we are making some progress then huh?" I laughed and tossed my pony back over to my back and began to walk in the opposite direction thinking of his words.

His threat meant nothing to me. Big Dog but all bark and no bite when it came to me. I let the words roll right off like everything else he had ever said to me. I look the last long drag of my ciggerate filling my lungs with as much of the painful smoke as I possibly could before tossing the bud down on the ground and walking in the opposite direction. Now that step one was done it looked like I still had a few minutes to spare time track down my lovely lady and maybe sneak in a quick kiss or two before we ditched out next class together.

-o-

i swear it gets better 3 that's it for chapter one ! :]

-ean.