My first Fanfic. What if the Doctor's next regeneration brought some unexpected results?

DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS

He crashed through the door of the Tardis, landing on all fours. He could feel the heat of the metacrystal bomb still pulsing through him. His hearts beat rapidly, attempting to extrude the radiation from his body.

I can pull through this. I've done this before.

He pulled at his bowtie and loosened the knot. Pulling himself up to the Tardis console, he punched in coordinates to… where? His vision fuzzed for a moment. He shook his head forcefully, whipping his sweat soaked hair away from his face.

The doctor had grown accustomed to "life and death" situations, even reveling in them. He felt that the excitement kept him on his toes and, in a way, young. Or at least as young as 925 years would allow. However, most ironically, he always faced some of his most dangerous situations when his only intent was a quiet holiday.

"Some Holiday," the Doctor said as he tried to steady himself against the console. The Tardis swung about wildly. How had this all started? One moment he'd been strolling through the bazaar of the Zixian Arckhasis capital city, next thing he knew he was thrown into the middle of a civil war between, not two, but three fractioned tribes. He had managed to quell the armies but it had been too late to stop the launch of the metacrystal bomb, a minute explosive capable of destroying the planet. He managed to trap the bomb in a time lock, saving the entire Zixian population, but that was only a temporary fix. The only way to disarm the bomb was by siphoning the nuclear crystal energy of it into his blood stream. The stream of energy had burned as it passed through the valves and caverns of his hearts. Now, as he tried to clear the remnants of the metacyrstals from his veins, he could not focus enough of his mind to steer his ship. He coughed hard and hoped that he'd be able to regain control and not fall into the swimming pool again. Of course, it would mean that he'd finally find the swimming pool. So far, it still was nowhere to be seen. The Doctor's limbs shook as he pulled hard on a lever, trying to get the Tardis into some type stasis. He needed a chance to recover.

The Tardis was finally still. The doctor stood on unsteady legs and exhaled deeply. He removed his tweed jacket and laid it over the jump seat.

"Never a dull moment, right?" he said to no one in particular. How long had it been since his last companion had left? Days… or years? He'd said his farewells to Amy long ago. It had been ages since he last seen River. The Doctor fell into his chair, still breathing heavy. The loneliness of traveling was beginning to affect him again. He'd begun stroking the Tardis' controls a little too affectionately, even to the point where she was beginning to get uncomfortable.

He laid his head back as his eyelids dropped down. He felt a contraction of energy run through his spine. Any minute now, it should be over he thought, but… something is wrong. A second spasm rolled through his abdomen and twisted his insides into knot. They're getting worse. Why aren't the symptoms passing? They should be passing. A wave of nausea rolled through him; he arched his back and he dug his fingers into the armrest. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He dug a hand through his wet bangs and stopped. He pulled the hand down and stared at it as beams of light began to creep through.

No," The Doctor said quietly. The light began to move upwards through his fingers. "No, No, NO, NO, NO! Not now. This wasn't supposed to happen now!"

It was happening faster than ever before. He needed time to ready himself, ready the Tardis. The doctor stood up quickly and faltered slightly, leaning against the controls. It felt like his last regeneration was only yesterday, emerging sideways out of the Tardis into Amelia Pond's garden. He doubled over as a spasm hit him.

It's always some sort of radiation, isn't it?

He reached for the Tardis and began frantically pressing buttons and knobs. A spasm kicked him back against the railing as regenerative heat began to emerge through his skin.

I need time… just a bit more.

The worst part was he was alone. Regeneration is always difficult, but going through it without someone by your side only added fear to the equation. The Doctor flicked a switch and tried to stand up straight as best he could.

"Goodbye." The doctor looked around solemnly, "I wish… I wish I had someone to say goodbye to… "

An explosion of light and energy filled the Tardis. It burned like the sun slipping down his extremities. His eyes glowed as the Doctors memories in their entirety filled his head. Air blasted into his lungs and, in a moment, it was over.

Calm fell over the Tardis.

It's always strange looking through new eyes. A change in color can change your perspective as well. The Doctor looked forward. Hands flew to the Doctor's face.

A Head! Perfect. I have hands. Wunderbar! What else? Eyes? Two, nice. Nose?... muuuuch better. Lips? Ehhh, a little thick but some people like that. Chin? Bit sharp, but… sure, ok. Hair? The doctor paused. 10 inches of hair were in hand.

Long? Disturbingly long, but… A wide grin spread on the Doctor's face

GINGER! I'm finally ginger! This is brilliant! Bloody brilliant!

The doctor stretched out his arms and hooked his thumbs in his braces, sliding both hands down…

Wait… that's not right.

Hands were cupped around two body parts that had never been there previously. Two. Soft. Swollen. Body parts.

"I need a mirror!" the Doctor announced, running through the halls of the Tardis. His boots suddenly seemed two sizes to large as he struggled not to stumble. Blasting through the door of the wardrobe, the doctor faced a striking, tall woman. Her cupids bow mouth was agape; her small, pointed chin dropped down slightly. She had an elegant heart-shaped face. A smattering of brown freckles dotted across the bridge of her nose and dissipated out over her full cheeks. Large, bright olive green eyes filled stared back with confusion and panic. Long, copper hair cascaded down in loose, messy ringlets. As she flicked her head about, golden highlights shifted in and out of focus. She turned slowly revealing a round bottom, even visible in the baggy men's trousers. She turned back around slowly, stepped forward and lifted a hand. The doctor reached for her, only to be touching the reflective glass

"This is not right… Is it?" the Doctor coughed and exhaled a golden cloud of energy.

He knew there had always been a possibility of being something different. In his past regenerations, he had been all sorts of different shapes and sizes. His voice had changed octaves and accents. He'd gone from a mountain of chestnut curls to a smooth blond bob between his 4th and 5th. He'd had eyes of every color. He'd joked to past companions of regenerating with two heads. Or even no head. But in all these years, never once had he truly thought he'd regenerate as a woman.

"This is awful," She said, grimacing and grabbing handfuls of tresses. "I'm lovely!" She truly was. The Doctor had always had a soft spot for redheads. Had she come across herself in past regenerations, she would've no doubt passed for several minutes noticing her fine features. Once again, her hands reached for her newly acquired chest. What was she supposed to do with these? They served absolutely no purpose. A curious glance crossed the Doctors face and she began to unbutton her shirt.

Let's get a better look, shall we?... Well! I…um… I suppose they're nice.

She buttoned the shirt back up, pulled off her bowtie from around her neck and dropped it. She crouched down, slowly rolling back onto the floor of the wardrobe. She rubbed the bridge of her nose thinking about the next steps.

Minutes later, Walking into the control room, she gazed over the screens of the controls. She pushed a few buttons casually flipped a final switch before heading off to recuperate in the zero room.

A shock wave ruptured through the Tardis and knocked the Doctor to the floor. She started for a moment, breathing shallow and quick. She could feel that she was still a few hours short of complete and full recuperation. Picking herself off of the floor, she darted down the halls of the Tardis. Sparks flew from the floor as the ship knocked side to side. The Doctor grabbed a lever and pulled hard trying to keep her ship from crashing into the vortex. She tapped in random coordinates and the gasping of the engines began. The Tardis shook violently and pitched hard to the left throwing the Doctor across the room. She grabbed tight to a railing and held on for dear life. As the gasping faded, the ship stood at a standstill.

The Doctor stood up and pushed her shoulders back. With as much confidence as she could muster, she opened the door and stepped out of her machine.

Earth. That'll do. Fine day. Smells like… rain. Possibly around 2 pm. Now where am I? An elderly man was passing by on the opposite side of the street walking two small dogs

"Sir? Sir? I'm sorry to bother you but, daft fool that I am, Can you please tell me what town we are in?" The old man turned his head toward the doctor, his eyes widened, and he went pale.

"Sir, are you alright?" the doctor asked. The man simply stood there, unblinking. After a few moments, he opened his mouth as if to speak but only swallowed hard. His small dog barked sharply and began to wind his leash around the man's legs.

"Sir, should I call you a doctor? Well… I mean, I am the Doctor, yes, but shall I call you your doctor?"

The man blinked several times very quickly and rubbed between his eyes with two fingers. He stared at the Doctor again. He lifted his arm and pointed toward the Doctor.

"Sir, is something the matter?"

"Young Lady," the elderly man finally, "I believe you forgot your pants… and everything else." The Doctor looked down to see that she was, indeed, stark naked.

"Oh my, well… Yes, I suppose I have," She quickly stepped into the Tardis and emerged almost instantly wearing the men's trousers and shirt from before.

"Better?" she slipped her hands gingerly into her pockets. The old man chuckled slightly.

"I can't say I like it better, but now at least you won't give old men any near-coronaries."

"That's quite good. And where might I happen to be?"

"St. Augustine"

"Ahh… France!" A bright smile spread across her face. The old man looked at her blankly, slightly confused.

"Am I speaking French?" the old man asked. "You're in Florida." The Doctor's face fell slightly.

"Florida? In North America?"

"Is there any other?" the man asked slightly sarcastically. The Doctor could think of several, including one on the Moon Delta of Frias that served the best fish and chips in the universe. But no point in mucking about with this man's head.

"Well, I suppose there isn't," the Doctor lied. "And the year?" The man gave her a heavy look.

"2011. Are you sure you are alright"

"Oh yes, as much as I can be. Thank you very kindly and have a nice day."

"Same to you" He waved goodbye and trotted his dogs off. The Doctor began heading down the street, for the first time noticing the humidity around her. She unbuttoned the first few buttons on her shirt and rolled up her sleeves to just past her elbows. The moisture in the air caused her shirt to stick slightly to her back. She discovered a path leading into a small wooden area. As she walked, she came upon a large, exquisitely manicured park. Soft slopes cover in bright green grass stretched out before serene ponds.

They even have sand boxes for the children. How nice.

In an instant, a shower of small white spheres were heading towards her. She ducked and covered as she was pelted with the stones. Trying to make her way across the expanse of grass, the Doctor flinched with every blast against her body.

I'm under attack by cavemen. Brilliant. I'm going to be tried as a witch. Again.

"What the hell are you doing?" a voice called out. The Doctor peaked through her arms to see an arm extend and pull her into the opposite side of the woodland,
"Why on earth would you try and walk through a driving range?"

"No one was driving there!" She answered crossly, "That was an ambush!"

"That," the stranger said deliberately, pointing toward the open space, "is a golf course." The Doctor looked toward where he was pointing. She didn't realize how she had missed it: the fairways, the water hazards, the sand traps. They were all there. Of course, every planet's idea of a 'golf course" was different. It had been centuries since she had been anywhere near an Earthly one.

"Ah… So it is." The Doctor turned toward the stranger. They were standing in a small open hut off to the side of the driving range. He sat down and grabbed two bottles of water out of a small cooler, handing one to the Doctor and swung an arm wide to present another chair. The Doctor looked cautiously at him and sat down. He was a young man barely out of his teens. His sun-bleached hair was short with a remnant of curl still visible. He wore a yellow polo shirt, khaki shorts, and a yellow sun visor that read 'St. Augustine Country Club'. On his shirt he wore a nametag: Eric.

"Aren't you hot?" Eric started, untwisting the cap off of the water bottle.

"A bit," answered the Doctor, honestly. She wiped her brow with the sleeve of her upper arm. Her back was completely soaked in sweat. She wished she had something besides trousers on. Time Lords have a high tolerance for the cold, but when it comes to heat, they are just as susceptible as humans. She opened her water and took a long swig. Eric just stared, not drinking his. The awkward silence only increased with each passing second.

"Ok, I'm just going to ask: What are you doing wandering around the middle of a golf course?" Eric said, breaking the tension.

"What are you?" The Doctor countered.

"I'm working"

"What do you do?'

"I'm a caddy, sometimes. But today I'm picking up the balls off the range."

"That's an interesting career" she replied placing the cool water next to her flushed cheeks

"It's not a career. It's a summer job."

"Is it summer, really? " The doctor leaned toward Eric. " I mean, it should be obvious, but you never know with some places. Some places are very cold in the summer. The planet of the Ood is like that. Lovely snow. I think I prefer the cold. Or maybe not. I haven't really learned yet what I prefer with this body. I mean, these," she said, grabbing her right bosom. "These should help with the cold, right? I've never had these before and I'm not exactly comfortable with them. Really, completely useless in my opinion.

"You know, in some solar systems, these are used as currency. You can literally break them off and use them as barter. But of course, that is only on planets where the population is born with any where from 9 to 42 mammary glands. Humans are positively destitute by comparison."

The young man stared, silent and unblinking.

"I quite eager to see what my feet look like. These boots feel quite big and, previously, I had had slightly small feet. I can tell you one thing, this hair," the Doctor said, grabbing a fistful. "Is on it's way to becoming an enormous nuisance. I mean, Look! It's all tangles and snarls and in my mouth half the time. But I must say, I am chuffed to bits to finally be ginger. I mean really GINGER! However… I may have to stay out of the sun more. That may prove quite difficult, because I'm in the sun quite a lot. I even almost flew into the sun once. Make no mistake, that was incredibly intense heat. Imagine this heat here, right now, and then multiply that by 467, 908. That is the kind of heat I mean. And I'm measuring in Celcius, not Farenheit!"

Eric slumped back slightly in disbelief. Here he was sitting, across from a gorgeous woman who was, very clearly, psychotic.

"Is something the matter?" the Doctor leaned closer.

"Are you off your meds?"

"Pardon?"

"You just started talking about planets, and flying into the sun and using boobs as money and implying that that's not your real body"

"No, it's real. Just not used to it yet, that's all" the doctor answered, sitting up straight. Eric leaned in a little, furrowing his brow trying to understand.

"Are you… Are you a transsexual?" he asked quietly, despite the fact that there weren't people around for over a mile. The Doctor cocked her head slightly, took a small short breath, mulling over this question.

"Weeeeellll, not exactly."

"But you just said…"

"It's more like… Have you ever changed operating systems on a computer? You can transfer all the data, but everything else on the computer looks different, acts different? That's what happens to me right now." The Doctor stretched out her arms in front of her and examined her long fingers. "Usually I just get a new face. This time… just got a few more new upgrades, I suppose" She arched her eyebrows and glanced down at her chest for a moment and shrugged.

Eric looked at her dead pan. He blinked slowly twice and got up. He walked two paces before turning toward her. The Doctor sat up straight interlacing her hands together and placing them on her lap.

Dammit, he thought to himself, the hot ones are ALWAYS crazy.

"Alright, I'm going to have to call the police because what I have here is obviously an escaped mental patient"

"No, not a mental patient," She extended her hand forward. "I'm the Doctor, by the way. And you are Eric" she said, tapping his badge playfully.

"No, no you are crazy because what you just described only happens in Harry Potter novels and Episodes of Star Trek. It's not real!" Eric responded, as if trying to explain to a 5-year-old. The Doctor cocked her head slightly.

"So sure, are you? I sound like a nutter, do I?"

"Now you sound like Yoda."

She liked this boy already.

I'm going to kick myself for this, she thought.

"What about… alien life? Other life? Extraterrestrials?." She smiled coolly as she said this.

"Now, you're talking about the X-files."

"Just because you saw it on the television doesn't mean it isn't real."

Eric's eyes widened a little before shaking his head.

"Bull-"

"tch, tch, tch, Naughty language." She said and wagged her finger sternly. "I can prove it."

"How?"

"Follow me" she said, flicking her head toward the other side of the wood. Eric just stared at her, unsure of what to do.

"I'm not following a stranger anywhere."

"I'm not a stranger. I already told you, I'm the Doctor."

"But you could be dangerous." Eric offered. The Doctor leaned in.

"I'm still not use to my appearance, so please excuse the question," The Doctor said, "but do I look dangerous? I've honestly only seen myself once, but I didn't appear to be dangerous. I mean, in a fight, you'd most likely have the upper hand." She leaned back, doing a quick once over of this young man. Eric's brow showed the debate that was taking place in his head over following this strange woman or not.

"I have work"

"We'll be back in 5 minutes. Promise"

They crawled out of the hut and toward the opposite side of the wooded area.

"So, where are you from?" Eric asked as they walked.

"Far away." The Doctor answered absentmindedly.

"England?"

"No"

"Ireland?"

"No?"

"Canada?"

The Doctor stopped in her tracks.

"Canada?" She said incredulously, "Do I really sound Canadian?"

"Well, I don't know. You, you have an accent."

"You just went from 'Ireland' to 'Canada. Those are two incredibly different accents.'" She said, "No transitional locations? No Wales? No Australia? No New Zealand?"

"I… don't know. Is it really that big a deal?"

"It is for the people in Wales, Australia, and New Zealand, I can tell you that much" The Doctor strode ahead as Eric quickly tried to catch up.

"So are you?" he asked. The Doctor stopped and grabbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

"No, no I am not. I'm not Canadian, I'm not Welsh, I'm not Australian, and I'm not a Kiwi."

"So what are you," he asked. The Doctor faced him and put her finger to her lips thoughtfully.

"In a few minutes" She turned around and headed forward

"I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?" Eric asked as they crossed through the woods.

"The Doctor"

"Doctor who?"

"Oh, Just The Doctor"

" People just call you the Doctor? You don't have a name?"

"I prefer 'the Doctor'" she said as they exited through the trees. Eric mulled over this.

"I'd prefer a name," he said. The Doctor stopped again. Eric nearly ran into her back.

"A name is a very personal thing, Eric," she said, turning to face him. "A name carries a lot of weight. It holds the key to an identity. It is the first gift ever given; at birth you have nothing… except a name," The Doctor let a moment pass, before taking a quick breath and continuing to walk. "It amazes me that some people will wear their names on their chest for anyone, anything to see without a thought to it" she said, poking Eric in his nametag. The continued down the street.

"Tell me, How old are you?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

"20" he answered. She could tell he was lying by the slight rise in his voice.

If he wants to lie, fine. It has nothing to do with me.

"I was 20 once. That was a very long time ago."

"How old are you?" Eric quizzed. The Doctor faced him with a cocky grin.

"How old do I look," she asked satirically. Eric paused as he considered this.

"23, maybe 24?" he responded. The doctor flashed a wide grin.

"Right you are!" she hurried down the block.

I guess I'm 24, she thought. As they rounded the corner the Tardis came into sight.

"There she is!" The Doctor announced proudly.

"There what is?" Eric was confused.

"My ship," the Doctor's face fell slightly at his puzzlement. "My Machine, my Tardis"

"Tardis?"

"Yeah, Tardis"

"Where?" Eric said as he twisted his head in several directions.

"Right there," the Doctor said pointing toward the Tardis. "The blue box."

"It's a blue box," Eric said flatly.

"Yes it is a blue box." The doctor was grinning from ear to ear. Eric pressed his fingers to his temples.

"Look," he said, thoroughly exasperated. "If you're going to rape and murder me, I have two pieces of advice: one, get a van, it's more mobile. And two, just let me know in advance because I might just be a willing participant."

The Doctor placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Believe me, I do not want to shag you nor murder you," the Doctor said, slightly condescendingly. She turned and walked toward the Tardis. "Honestly, you apes have one-track minds: eat, snog, shag, eat, snog, shag. No wonder you can't get past mars." Eric's eyes narrowed at the Doctor over this implication.

"What do you mean 'you apes'? You're and ape, too." Eric snapped. The Doctor just bit her lip and took a sharp breath of air through her teeth.

"Ahhh…That is where you're wrong," she smiled and snapped her fingers, opening the Tardis door. "Come inside."

Eric gaped as he crossed through the threshold of the Tardis. The doctor leaned against the control panel, smiling proudly at his wonder. He approached the controls, looking eagerly at the Doctor, waiting for some sort of permission to touch them. The Doctor nodded. Eric tenderly touched the panel and the Tardis hummed to life. He drew his hand back quickly as is doing something wrong, once again looking to the Doctor for approval.

I love seeing that look on their faces, she thought.

"Time and relative dimension in space. TARDIS. A van is nowhere near as mobile as she is," the Doctor hopped into the jump seat.

"Time and relative dimension… Do you mean this is a time machine," Eric asked, unbelieving.

"Oh, you're clever!" the Doctor gushed, she stood up. "Yes, she travels in time. Also in space. And, once, to a parallel universe."

"So you mean you can travel to other planets?"

"Oh yes"

"And… you're not from this planet?"

"No."

"So… Where are you from?" Eric asked cautiously. The Doctor looked at him warmly, but her eyes held only sadness. The pain and emptiness left by Gallifrey's destruction would forever occupy her hearts.

"Some place far away and… and long gone." She finally said after a moment. Not one to let things get too solemn, the Doctor whizzed around the controls, pushing buttons, pulling knobs, and tapping statistical variations in to the monitors.

"So, Where do you want to go?" The Doctor leaned against the railing facing Eric.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you I'd prove it. Anywhere in space and time. Where to?"

"I… I have work. I'll get fired" Eric declared. The Doctor sighed.

"It. Is. A. Time Machine," she said, trying not to giggle at his frustration. She held up five fingers. "You'll be back in five minutes. Promise." Eric sighed in concession.

"How about… ancient… China?" Eric Suggested.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" the Doctor folded her arms, acting very matronly.

"Telling." He said firmly. The Doctor circled the Tardis' controls, setting coordinates.

"Ancient China it is! Han Dynasty! 210 B.C.E." The Doctor announced. The Tardis came to life and began to shake. Suddenly, the Doctor remembered something.

"Wait! Stop! Stop!" she shouted, pulling a handle to pause the process and turning towards Eric. She looked down and clasped her hands, as if about to pray. "Before I take you anywhere I need you to say it."

"What?...Please?"

"No, what… what everyone says when they enter the Tardis for the first time." The Doctor quickly shot out.

"I… I don't know what you're talking about." Eric said, quite confused. The Doctor grabbed the sides of her head and heaved a frustrated sigh.

"It's. Bigger. On. The. Inside!" she recited, in a very deliberate manner. Eric stifled a laugh.

"That's what she said" he shot out quickly. The Doctor tilted her head and narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"What?"

"It's a joke… An Earth joke"

The Doctor still looked confused

"An American joke" Eric finally said.

"Ahhh… right." This resigned the Doctor enough. She once again began the Tardis. The wheezing of the engines roared through the ship.

Not just an ape, but an American ape as well. This will be an adventure, alright.