3 Tibbs Warning 3

Trust is a hard thing to understand, love sometimes is much easier but trust is hard. When you love somebody you give them everything that you have and more and sometimes that's enough, but then when it really comes down to it trust is the one thing that is the hardest to give, for me anyway. Having been a trusting person all through growing up you could understand where I'm coming from. I trusted my first love not to break my heart and she did, and there I was standing at the alter wondering what I had done wrong. So I had to learn the hard way, but did I really, because the next thing I know I'm falling again except this time with my coworker. I've tried everything in the book not to fall for them, but every time they do something little I notice and it makes my heart rush. I think the worst part is, is that it's a man and he's my boss. But every time he smiles those small secretive smiles it always goes directly to my heart.

So because I knew that I could never truly have what I really wanted I decided to date around and a lot. But it's not like he never was in relationships, because he had a few and every time I saw him with someone my heart hurt. So I decided not to sleep around but to try and find someone to settle down with, but that wasn't going to well. But then the explosion happened and my boss quit and just like that he was gone, don't get me wrong I was very happy unbelievably happy he was alive and well, and I really truly understood what he was going through having to relive his families deaths, I mean I couldn't truly understand because I've never had it happen to me, but I understood. Then the director decided that as soon as he was gone and I was the new boss she could now do what she really wanted and that was put in an undercover operation that was never supposed to be NCIS jurisdiction without back up and without the repercussions of my old boss finding out. The mission is to get close to Jean in any way possible, so I did, and I really did through the risk of my own heart I did. But then my boss came back and things got really complicated, it hurt bad enough the way he left thinking he didn't remember me at all, but for the way he came back. I felt my heart shatter a little more and I thought I had finally got over him, not quite.

The whole secret operation got a lot harder too because I started to see the he was starting to get suspicious of me. If that wasn't bad enough but I was having a hard time separating my feelings, it felt as if I was being chewed up and spit out several times in several different ways. After a while the whole thing came apart and I was shattered, everything that's happened to me thus far and things continue down this path. My own partner doesn't trust me that was a whole other fiasco with her own love life being fucked with by her own father. Now several years later down the road here I sit and I feel as if I haven't learned my lesson for EJ showed me I still have a problem with relationships. But this time I saw something, when my boss decided my personal life was his business as well and brought up rule 12, I saw something in his eyes and I knew what he didn't want me to know, so I showed him in my eyes what he truly meant to me as well. After that day he knew I was in love with him and I knew he was in love with me, but neither of us did anything about it. So days went by that turned into weeks that turned into months. Then my boss started dating Dr. Ryan and that's when I decided I couldn't look at him at all if I had to for it was too painful and it's not like I had a right to be jealous or hurt, but I was and there was nothing stopping the way I feel.

Then the unthinkable happened NCIS headquarters blew up, and I was trapped in an elevator with my partner worried out of my mind about my boss. Everything happened so fast after we got out, both my boss and Abby were alright, McGee was punctured with a piece of glass from the bullpen windows that I myself used to love looking out of. I was now at home trying to process everything that had happened, especially after hearing about Ducky. There was suddenly a knock on the door, I got up and answered it the last person I thought I would see tonight was standing there looking about as much as I feel right now. Suddenly I'm pushed back into my apartment and spun around to where I'm leaning on my now closed door and there were hands on either side of my face as my mouth is being passionately kissed. Finally breaking away for air our heads leaning against each other.

"Jethro." I breathe.

"I was so worried Tony, so…" Jethro breathed across my lips. "Worried."

"I was too." I said back lifting my hands to run them down the sides of Jethro's face as he did the same to me.

"I don't want to ever lose you." Jethro said looking into my eyes.

"I don't want to ever lose you either Jethro." I said looking him back in the eyes. They didn't say they loved each other that night but the way they looked into each other's eyes told more to the other better than any words ever could.

They got called to another crime scene, even with the temporary housing until there building was rebuilt the world still turned and they continued with their work. I was snapping photos of the crime scene when I felt a hand on my lower back for about two seconds; I looked out of the corner of my eye as Jethro passed me to get over to the body. I smiled softly down at the camera and continued to do my job.

Sorry couldn't resist.