What I've Done
Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or the associated characters.
Nellie had done a lot of stuff in her life. She'd served hungry customers, cared for her husband- never catching a break, acted almost like a maid for Sweeney Todd, and even taken in a Tobias Ragg. Hard times came her way- her family was gone now, only a distant aunt Nettie remained. She'd lost babies, had to give birth to a stillborn. Hell, she even put people in pies. Life was harsh on her. When Albert died, her income was cut into a fourth of what it had been- leaving her to live in poverty and sadness.
Sweeney had, of course, caught rumors about the baker, and though it appeared he was not listening, he was. His life was hard too. Fifteen years he waited, expecting to come home to a wife and child. His mind wasn't always off somewhere far away. It wandered to the absolutely puzzling woman downstairs quite a bit. The times he wanted to think of Lucy, he thought of Nellie. Eleanor would bring him dinner soon. Maybe he'd join her below to check up on it.
A particularly violent and nasty rumor had spread about her. How she cut her own skin and hurt herself intentionally. That couldn't be true. She was such a happy woman. Unlike him, she didn't dwell too much on the past- other than her love for Benjamin Barker, which was now focused on Sweeney Todd. He hoped it wasn't true. But just taking a step down the squeaky steps up to his shop made him uneasy. What if it was? What would he do? What could he do?
Creak
Creak
One rickety step at a time until he reached the bottom.
He walked to her bakery darkly, bad energy swarming off his body. Sweeney opened the door, stepped in, then closed it, movements fast and quiet. Mrs. Lovett wasn't in the front kitchen so he made his way back to her parlor purposely. He heard her talking to herself in her room. Walking up to her slightly opened door, he was shocked.
Eleanor was… Cutting herself. Something he couldn't imagine she would be doing. She was doing it almost carelessly, wasting the perfect red rubies, letting them drip to the floor. Something so beautiful and treasured practically being thrown away. How dare she do this! He was going to slam the door open, but listened harder for her talking.
"The things I've done. Life is just wandering around pointless and clueless. It comes with no instructions, a puzzle with pieces yet to be discovered. Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Todd?"
She turned to face him at the doorway.
"The things I've done, Mr. Todd… They don't compare to how good it feels to let some of the pressure in my heart out through my veins. It's a relief. Not as great as death, but close. I know I can feel now. I'll keep testing. But the things I've done and gone through… They bleed out through my cuts. Pushed away and locked up in a dark and lonely place, until the stream or river of emotions floods out. This, Sweeney, is how I get over the things I've done. The things I've gone through."
"The things we have gone through, Mrs. Lovett. You somehow make my problem your own and carry it far heavier than needed. What you've done… What you're doing…"
"Reminds me I'm alive. Makes me feel. Makes me 'normal' again. Just back to the way before."
"If only…"
He took her face in his hand and forced her to look him in the eyes harshly.
"You need to stop this."
With his other hand, he squeezed her wrist tightly, causing her to drop the knife she was holding out of pain. She held back tears, instead hissing to hold back from screaming. Sweeney realized he was pressing down hard on her cuts and quickly let go, finally breaking contact with her eyes to stare at his hand, which was now covered in her blood.
