P-chan: Written for Chocolaty Taste with special thanks to Marie9. The song is If You Feel Better by Emilie Autumn. Because it was written for Chocolaty Taste, she got to choose the title. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Magic Kaito or If You Feel Better. They belong to their respective owners.
"STOP RIGHT THERE, KAITOU KID!"
Whatever supernatural force that made him freeze and face her, he'd never know, but he immediately regretted it. No matter what their daytime relationship was, KID had no business with this woman. To her, he was the monster that took her father from her on a regular basis and whose existence threatened to tear her best friend from her.
Aoko's eyes flashed with the anger in the dim moonlight. She watched KID crouch down on the ledge of the roof he'd been about to jump off. She stomped toward him, each step threatening. He merely smiled. As always.
"STOP IT! DON'T DO THAT!!!"
"Do what?" was his confused reply.
"That-that th-thing you do! That sickening smile! It's too cold! I can't stand it!" Tears came into her eyes. Whether they were tears of anger of anger or of frustration, neither of them knew. He laughed, his same laugh.
"What's so amusing?!"
Kid jumped down from the ledge and walked toward her. There was only a tiny distance between them. "What do you mean? Why, everything is amusing, really."
If you feel better
Telling me I'm heartless,
Saying I'm unfeeling,
I don't mind.
"Like what?! What could possibly be so funny?!"
"Like I said, everything. Like your father and his silly investigation team. They try so hard even though they know it'll never go anywhere. It's pathetic. If I was going to get caught it would've been years ago. Like the detectives that chase me around the world losing their true selves to obsession. Like you and your little charade. Pretending you're fine, when on the inside you're screaming. You can't even be honest with yourself. It's sad, really. But I guess that's why it's so amusing . . . ."
"SHUT UP!!!"
She closed the distance her fists pounding against his chest as her tears started to spill from her eyes.
"I-" he started.
"DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD!!!!"
He paused.
If it's necessary,
If it helps you out,
Crying that I'm heartless,
It's alright.
"Just look at you. . . . meeting me here with your "tough" act. You're falling apart. And getting my suit wet."
"Please. . . . . Stop. . . . I-i can't. . . . can't. . ." She slumped to the ground not able to stay on her feet. She couldn't take anymore. It was too cruel. He was too cruel. And it was so cold. . .
He looked down at her broken form, her head staring down, unable to hold itself up. In reality, it broke his heart to do this to her. But it was necessary. He would play the villain. For her.
And I'm sorry to cause you so much pain
And I'm sorry to bring you down again
At this point, it would be much worse for him to be kind. As much as she hated him, she hated herself for being selfish. (He laughed at the thought, she needed to worry about herself more.) She suffered everything in near silence.
He was done with these half-hearted attempts at equilibrium, playing both sides. For Aoko, KID couldn't be too gray. If there was doubt, if there was a chance he was good, then she wouldn't be able to blame him. She was so fragile . . . he wouldn't let her break. Not because of him.
'Cause I've reached the end and I won't fight anymore
KID turned around and started to walk back to the edge of the building. Something pulled on him. He looked down. Her hand had curled around the edge of his cape and wasn't letting go.
He reached down, about to touch her gently and have her let him go, but stopped himself short. He must not be kind, he mustn't! He couldn't confuse her. He'd already decided how this was going to end.
I don't know what you really want from me,
But I don't fit in your reality
How can any man be so blind?
Roughly, he smacked her hand away. She grabbed his cape again and pulled. There was a ripping sound. He wouldn't be getting away by hang glider. Why was she doing this to him? It was already hard enough to leave her there in that state.
"Not so fast . . . I'm not letting you get away this easily . . .not now . . ." Aoko looked up for the first time since she had collapsed to the ground. Her voice was so defiant . . . exactly what he'd wanted, but it hurt the same. Poker Face, he told himself. Poker Face.
But if you feel better
I don't mind
"Oh? What can a little girl like you do? Just a minute a ago, you couldn't get yourself off the floor. Be honest, you can't do anything."
Aoko's eyes didn't move from his face as she pulled some more on the piece of cape. It ripped completely through. It was in rags without a hope of repair, he'd have to get a new one.
Well, there wasn't much he could say to that.
"You don't seriously think that you've got me stuck here, do you? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'll be taking my leave now. I don't have time to play with little girls."
If you feel safer
Keeping to yourself
Placing trust in no one
I won't cry
"Why? Why are you like this? Why do you do this? Don't you feel guilty? Don't you feel anything at all?" She was getting worked up again, going from cool anger to fiery temper.
"What about the people that have dedicated their lives to catching you, even at the expense of time with their loved ones? What about the people who are suspected and harassed because they are similar to you? What about your victims?"
If it calms your conscience,
Making me the guilty one,
Take my reputation
Ain't worth much
And it's alright
This is it, he thought. My last chance to save myself . . . But that's not going to happen. I've gone too far to turn back now . . .
"Why would you think I care about them?"
Won't make me sorry 'cause I'm cruel
Won't hurt the feelings I don't have
Won't break the heart that isn't there, you'll find
Suddenly, he grabbed her by the throat and crushed his lips against hers. A harsh kiss filled with ill feeling. It was a bittersweet goodbye, a kiss of frustration and pain.
He dropped her and ran to the roof's ledge. He paused, though he did not turn to face her. Instead, he closed his eyes and jumped.
But if you feel better
Telling me I'm cruel
Saying I'm unfeeling
I don't mind
I don't mind
I don't mind
