I'm not sure if this is an obvious way of looking at this particular ship or if I'm the first to suggest it (correct me if I'm wrong) but it would certainly explain things. Enjoy and thanks for reading!
"I like you"
She said it. Although blurted it out would be more accurate. The moment the words left her lips, she regretted it. The stillness of the empty room after she had said it felt painfully fragile. She almost believed that she could reach out to the air and shatter the world with a touch. And she really, really wanted to, if it would take back what she said. But she couldn't get out of this that easily. She would have to press on.
They were in one of the classrooms. It was after school hours, so no one else was there. Normally they would go to the library, but she said it was too stuffy so they should go outside to work. But he knew better and found a nice quite classroom where she would be able to focus on work.
But how could she focus with him next to her. He was calm, he was collected, he was stoic, he was balanced. He was the eye of the storm that was her life. He was the rock against the crashing waves. He was her crutch. He was her support. He was an anchor to keep her controlled. He made sure she was safe… since when did she get so poetic. There was really only one thing she could say about him that was true beyond. He was her friend.
Of course she liked him. Of course she loved him. No one gets to know someone so intimately over the years and not love them. They'd been together since they were kids.
But not "together" together. Never "together" together. If only that had been enough for her. So, when they were left alone in blissful silence, it just sort of slipped out.
"I know," he replied without looking up.
"No, I mean- I like-like you," she said quickly, so fast she nearly bit her tongue. If this was going to come out, she might as well try to make it clear to him.
More silence, then, "…I know," she didn't want to hear that. Hearing that meant she had to ask the next obvious question.
"Do you like me back?"
"You know the answer to that,"
"No I don't!" she said loudly, waving her arms up. She was standing over him now. When did she stand up? "I never know what you're thinking. It not fair! You always know what's in my head but you're like- I dunno, a brick wall? Yeah, a green brick wall sounds right." She took a deep breath to calm herself. It didn't work. "Why didn't you say something?"
All this time, he didn't look away from his notebook. He'd stopped writing, though. He was fully focussed on the conversation. He isn't looking me in the eye, "I didn't want to hurt you,"
Ironically, those words hurt more than anything, because she knew what they meant, "You…"
"I'm sorry,"
"No… it… its fine. Everything's fine," she said that, but she felt empty. He rejected her. The boy she had loved since before she knew what love was had said no. "Is there's someone else?" it was phrased as a question but it was definitely a statement.
"Nora, please-"
"No I want to know, Ren!" the she screamed, "Who is she? What makes her so special? Is she pretty? Is she smart? Is she strong? Is she fun? How much better than me is she? I know I'm not perfect but how is she so much better that I'm not good enough for you?"
"Its Jaune," and like that, for the second time in a minute, her world did a flip.
He said… oh. "Oh," she said simply. What else could she say? She couldn't blame him for that. What kind of friend would she be if she blamed him for that?
"Yeah…" he hadn't looked up but turned away from her as if ashamed, "Sorry. I should have told you,"
"Its ok." He anger disappeared, replaced by something hollow. It was like this whole thing wasn't real. "I guess it must have been hard, keeping that hidden,"
"You helped," for some reason, his reply made her hurt even more, "Having you there for me made everything better,"
"Really?" she certainly didn't feel like she made everything better. All she ever did was drag him along with her wherever the wind took her. He always just followed without complaint. Now he was saying it had helped him. "That's… good. I suppose."
"Nora, I'm sorry I don't feel that way for you. I can't help not falling in love with you. Its just who I am,"
"I know," she said quietly. She wanted to cry. That's what she felt. This was definitely a time to cry. So why wasn't she crying? "Have you told Jaune?"
"No, I don't think he feels that way for me. He doesn't look at me that way."
"I know how that feels…"
"You won't tell anyone, will you?"
She looked at him. He was looking at her now. His eyes weren't calm anymore. He wasn't the balanced, stoic boy that had been by her side all her life. His eyes were afraid. He was pleading to her. Why would he be afraid? He never needed to be afraid of her. "I promise," she nodded.
He smiled, but there was a hollowness to it. He leaned over and kissed her on her cheek. "Thank you, Nora. And I'm sorry," he picked up the notebook and went to leave. He didn't want to stay here, not with all this awkwardness in the room. She felt the same but she was rooted in place, as if staying stock still might cause her to wake from this messed up dream.
"Nora?" he called and she turned to look up at him, "You coming?"
He didn't say it like it was important, like it meant something so much more. But she knew what those words meant. They weren't "together" together, but they were always going to be together. Who they loved didn't change that. "In a minute," she put on a smile, "Go ahead, I'll be right there,"
He nodded and left her alone. She sighed and slumped back into her chair. She wanted to cry, to let it all out. Anything would be better than what she felt right now. She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to make tears come, but they didn't. "It hurts," she sobbed to herself without any tears. "Why does it hurt like this?"
The room had no answers to give. She looked back up to the open doorway that he had left behind. She thought about all the time she had spent with him. All the days they had spent time together. All the times she had thought of him as something more. Now it had changed. She had pushed them beyond that unknown line. Now that the truth was out, life had to go back to normal.
"I don't know if I can do that," she said to herself. Saying it felt… something. It was relieving or depressing, she didn't know which. She couldn't tell.
She sighed once more, "Well, I won't know until I try," she sprung up, some of her lost energy regained, and bounced up the steps after her unrequited love.
This is just something that came to me during the week. Its one possible explanation as to why Nora and Ren aren't "together" together. What do you guys think? Comments and criticisms are appreciated.
