Depression wasn't even close to what I felt at this moment. The empty, hollow feeling made a chasm deep inside. I had never been more alone, either, as I sat to myself listening to my earbuds. Though I loved the songs, For King and Country couldn't even cheer me up. The room chorused with voices, all oblivious to my apparent state. Even Ash, who sat right by not three feet away. That made the emptiness even larger.
The bell rang, a gracious call for freedom in my opinion. I gathered up my belongings and skipped away from the class. Sprinting footsteps from behind caused me to wonder if Ash finally got the memo. But then the sound of his girlfriend's high pitched voice told me otherwise. Bitterness should've risen in my throat, and a pure ball of hatred should've replaced the vacancy in my gut. It didn't matter how many reasons I came up with, though. I couldn't bring myself to despise the girl who stole my fanboy. Even if it was crushing me.
To get in between classes, students had to pass through the parking lot centered in the middle of the two buildings. To make matters even more fantastic, there was only one pair of metal doors for each building that led in or out. All others were locked constantly. My mind was void of any thought or feeling as I attempted to squeeze inside, when some kid pushed by, knocking my stuff down. From the look on his face, it was clear it was an accident. He muttered his apologies and kept going, and guilt slowly crept into me. I wanted to call back something nice, anything that would've made his day brighter. After all, someone deserved to be cheery on this beautiful morning. But all I managed out was a few profanities whilst bending down to pick up my things.
Through the masses of teenagers, a stranger beat me to the mess sprawled on the floor.
"Are you okay?" She asked kindly, helping me to my feet. I looked up with a forced smile, recognizing my cousin, Lady. Her deep, brown eyes flickered with concern. She knew my weekend had been rough, but didn't push any questions. God how I wished I wasn't so emotional.
"Yeah. Same as always." I replied quietly. She nodded, giving me a quick hug as we continued down the narrow halls. We split up at the intersection to depart to our separate classes. For me that meant dealing with Greek symbols and numbers and other confusing things for the next hour. Yippee.
The class room was literally divided by a row of desks. One side had six friends, and the other side had four. I slid into my seat next to the four, feeling someone's eyes burning holes into my head. I glanced up, briefly noticing a white fox with blue markings staring at me. Her hair was put up into a ponytail, as always, and her attire consisted of jeans and a navy blue over shirt, possibly covering her T-shirt. Her piercing violet eyes smiled at me. I looked away and started digging for last night's unfinished homework. She was probably really hurt from that one simple action. Mia had been my best friend since kindergarten, and up until these past couple of weeks, we told each other everything. She knew something was bugging me, and while I did drop hints of what it was, I never outright told her. It always made me feel guilty to talk about my problems, like I was putting the weight of my life on someone else's shoulders.
The boy in front of me swerved in his feet until we were eye-to-eye. I caught him raising an eyebrow at my chicken-scratch assignment, but luckily he didn't say anything about it. Otherwise I would've murdered him on front of the whole class.
"You feeling all right, Emma?" Micheal asked with plain amusement. I'll admit the situation was humorous, if not completely ironic. Normally my homework was done before yesterday's class ended. My grades wouldn't be drowning in misery and my stuff wouldn't be a mess. So to see me frantically finishing whatever pitiful work I had already somewhat completed was out of the ordinary.
"Just peachy." I answered tightly, before standing up and turning it in. No one bothered to talk to me. I just sat in my desk and prayed with my entire being that this period would end fast.
