A/N: The ending of episode 3x12 and Felicity's little speech were annoying me ever since. I really didn't like her in this scene... and because I don't want to not like Felicity Smoak, I had to write something that made my Olicity heart feel better about this episode.
As always I'll try to stay in character as much as possible and I really hope I'll manage to get them right. Please let me know what you think in a teeny-tiny review...

And please be gentle as english isn't my first language... If you find mistakes - feel free to keep them! ;-)

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The CW is the author and owner of "Arrow". The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Diggle, Felicity and Roy were just watching the news in the Foundry when they heard someone descending the stairs behind them.

"Sorry that I didn't come by sooner." Oliver announced. "I just wanted to check in on Thea." He explained while Felicity had jumped from her seat, ran towards him and hugged him, relieved he was finally back and – more importantly – alive! "It's ok. I'm ok." He reassured her.

"Merlyn told us you were killed." Diggle said.

"I was close. I'm sorry that I didn't reach out sooner. I wasn't exactly in a cell service area." Oliver said while letting go of Felicity and making his way over to Diggle.

"You kept the city together…" He shook Diggles hand first, then looked at Roy. "You saved the Glades. Well done." He said and shook Roy's hand, too. His view drifted to a plastic bag on the table next to where they were standing.

"It's gift from Malcolm Merlyn. He went looking for you." Diggle explained and Roy asked "It's Ra's al Ghul's, right?"

"Yep…"

"So what are we gonna do about him?" Roy asked. "I mean, if he finds out about Thea…"

"Merlyn and I are working on that." Oliver told them and crossed his arms above his chest like he was bracing himself for the argument that was about to come. And he didn't have to wait very long…

"Sorry?" Felicity couldn't believe she heard him right. "For a second there, it sounded like you said "Merlyn"..."

"I need to know how to defeat Ra's." Oliver defended his decision. "Merlyn has the knowledge."

"Merlyn is a monster!" Felicity practically spit that one out. She was getting more and more angry. How could he come back after such a long time and one of the first things he had so say was that he would be working with Malcom Merlyn from now on. "You're in this situation, Thea is in this situation because of him!"

"Felicity…" Oliver tried to calm her down and explain why he had to do this. But she wouldn't listen…
"No... Just a few hours ago, I stood right here, and I swore that there was no way that you would ever agree to work with Malcolm Merlyn, not EVER! I guess I was wrong about everything." She said, grabbed her coat and headed for the stairs. "I need some air. I'm glad you're not dead." She mumbled while leaving the Foundry.

The three men stood there and no one dared to speak. Oliver knew "bad", he had more experience in this area than most people. But there were few things that were worse than a furious Felicity. She was usually their anchor. HIS anchor. She stayed focused when everyone else was freaking out, stayed calm and reasonable in the worst chaos. So when you managed to make her angry – you better tried to fix the situation a.s.a.p.!

So that's what Oliver intended to do. He nodded in Digg's and Roy's direction and followed Felicity.

"Felicity!" He called when he entered the dark and wet alley behind Verdant.
"'I need some air' really means 'I don't want to talk right now'. She answered and tried to keep her voice calm. She failed miserably.

Oliver took a few more steps in her direction. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Felicity asked and turned around to face him. "Maybe you could be a little more specific." She sounded exhausted. Defeated somehow. Like she was really done with all of this. Like she didn't want to have anything to do with "Team Arrow" anymore. Live a normal live, have normal friends, no secrets, no almost-deaths and no working with your worst enemy to defeat a 1000-year-old guy.

"For letting us believe you were dead for weeks or for abandoning every principle you claim to have by getting into bed with Malcolm Merlyn?!" This man could be so frustrating. She couldn't even revel in the fact that he was back. Of course she was glad he was alive and he returned to Starling, but this? After how they ended things before he left she thought him coming back would have a completely different outcome. He told her he loved her for god's sake! Didn't he have to say anything more about this topic once he could hold her in his arms again?!

Oliver started to walk over to her, but she held her hand up to stop him… "Uh-uh." She shook her head.

"That's not why you're upset." He suddenly understood.

"While you were gone for almost a month, I allowed myself to fantasize, to dream that maybe, just maybe Merlyn was wrong. That you were alive and that you would come back and that when you did, you would be different. That almost dying would give you a new perspective on life, that you would just do things differently."

"Things between us, you mean."

"Before you left, the last thing you said to me was that you loved me. Now you're back, and the first thing you tell me is that you are working with the man who turned your sister – a woman you're supposed to love – into a killer, who killed a woman you used to love." She looked at him and felt the tears starting to fill her eyes. "I don't want to be a woman that you love."

Oliver felt like Ra's stabbed him with his sword all over again. Not only that he stabbed him, he cut out his heart and let him bleed to death in the cold snow. He couldn't say anything back. He had to use all the strength that was left after his recovery from the actual 'getting stabbed by Ra's al Ghul' to stay on his feet.

Felicity turned around and walked away slowly. Basically, now would be the moment for him to say "I told you so…" because actually – he did. He told her multiple times that he wasn't good for her. That by being with him or even have feelings for him, she would end up hurt. Or worse. And now she was hurt. And it was his fault.

But somehow hearing her say it hurt him, too. He knew pain. Physical pain. He could handle physical pain. But the worst pain he had endured until now was nothing compared to the agony he was currently in. He thought this was what he wanted. He wanted her to keep her distance. To only have a platonic relationship with her like he had with Diggle, Roy and Laurel. He wanted her to be happy – but not with him. Happy and safe.

"I'd say this hit home, huh?!"

He turned around to see Laurel standing on the other end of the alley. He didn't say anything. He just closed his eyes and shook his head slightly like he wanted to erase what just happened.

"She's right about everything she said…" He stated without looking at Laurel.

He heard her coming closer to him and when the clicking of her heels stopped he looked up to find her standing right in front of him. She smiled at him and hugged him. "It's good to have you back, Ollie."

Oliver returned the hug and took comfort in Laurel's embrace. When she stepped back she said "She may be right about some of it, but you should talk to her when her emotions aren't running wild anymore. She just got you back and practically the first thing you say to her is that you are joining forces with Malcom Merlyn."

"I have no other choice…"

"Maybe you don't… But you know… I'm not Malcom's biggest fan either. So I kind of understand her being upset about it. That's not what bugs her most, though."

"Yeah…" Oliver sighed. "I know…"

"Oliver… I know you basically my whole life. And there was a time I knew you better than anyone else. I know you can be one stubborn idiot."

Oliver smiled at that comment and let out a small chuckle. Yeah, that could have easily come from Felicity.

"Don't get me wrong… With everything that happened to Sara and seeing, experiencing what you are doing every da – I get why you're pushing her away. I really do. But let me tell you this…: We are not together anymore. Tommy and my sister are dead and my father is angry at me for not telling him about Sara. The life we lead – the life YOU lead – can be very lonely. I bet you already know that. And Felicity already knows everything about you. I bet she knows more than anyone else. And she knows what she'd be in for. That you have a complicated past. That you aren't exactly chatty about your feelings…" they both smiled when Laurel said that.

Oliver could see her making a point here. Still – he refused to let himself dream of a better life. A carefree life. A life where he didn't have to be afraid his loved ones could get killed any second because someone wanted to get back at him. Felicity deserved better than him. Period!

"Right now she's hurt. She went through hell while you were gone. And when Merlyn told us you didn't make it – it made everything worse. For all of us. Until Felicity found the strength to remind us of what this mission was about. Saving people. Making Starling City a better place." Laurel took Oliver's hands. "She is strong Ollie. She can handle you…" she smiled at Oliver who looked up into the sky and let out a deep breath. "Give her some time to process this. Talk to her in a few days. You'll see it will go very differently."

Oliver looked at Laurel. Maybe she was right. His life WAS very lonely. Sure he had Thea and he had his friends but he didn't have someone to wake up next to. To just sit on the couch in the evening – given it was quiet on the streets – and enjoy each other's company. He wanted that and he wanted it with Felicity but he still wasn't sure if he could do this to her.

Then again – when she told him earlier that she didn't want to be a woman that he loved, he thought he would die right there. He felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. Like a giant rock was crushing his chest. He couldn't NOT be with her. As selfish as it was, he needed her.

"Thank you Laurel." He told her and hugged her tight. "I hope you're right about this one."

"I know I am…" She smiled, squeezed his arm and left for the Foundry.

Two days later, Felicity was hurrying down the steps into the lair. Oliver had texted her she should meet him there as soon as she could.