My view on what happened on the way home... (Breaking Dawn)
-Rae
I had trouble looking at him on the flight back. How could he? How could he want to kill something we created out of love, out of raw passion? I kept my hands crossed defensively over my stomach as I stared restlessly out the window. I had cried too much already, now the tears refused to come. Edward remained frozen next to me, like a beautiful picturesque statue. I hid my face in my hands. This had to be a dream, a horrible, terrible nightmare. Edward made no move to consol me as he had previously on this trip. Earlier I had shot him a deadly glare as he tried to apologize for the umpteenth time. He tried to apologize for a baby. Our beautiful, living baby.
But that was Edward, chauvinistic as always as he apologized repeatedly for giving me something I wanted more than anything in the world. Nothing made sense. He'd been the one who had wished for a shotgun wedding. I sighed, feeling my nudger move inside of me. That's right, I promised it, you're going to be fine. We're taking care of you. I just had to get back to Rosalie and Esme. They would understand and they would be on my side, defending my right to motherhood, defending my child. Trying to stop the running of my frazzles mind, I forced myself to sleep, leaning against Edward's cold arm. I may have been angry with him, but I loved him nonetheless. I loved him more than air. But my heart had grown and now I was going to have to fight for the new person my heart had claimed against the man who had owned it all along. It wasn't long before the change in air pressure woke me and I knew we were almost there. Giving one last look at Edward, I stroked his cheek with the back of my index finger.
"I love you." I whispered, knowing he would feel betrayed when I fled to Rosalie. He looked at me with a look that nearly stopped my heart. His golden eyes emanated a feeling of endless guilt that made my stomach drop. He studied my face and kissed my temple.
I understood his point of view. I understood his worry as he realized what this child could do. He was worried for me; he wanted my safety and my life to be what mattered in our decision. But it just couldn't be that way any more. My nudger came first. Unable to get my mind around the concept, I repeated the words in my head. My child. My baby would from this day forward, come first. Refocusing my eyes, I stared at Edward, how was studying my face with the familiar look of frustration on his face.
"I love you too." He replied in the same whisper, reaching up to toy with a lock of my hair. The skid of the plane's wheels hitting the runway jarred us from our reverie. A lump filled my throat. This was it. These next moments were going to decide the fate of my baby. I frowned. I wasn't going to lose.
Edward hastily grabbed our bags and we were some of the first off the plane. He walked briskly, but I was able to keep up with a slight jog. The ramp doors were open and as we turned the corner, I saw them. The entire family was there in all their perfection, waiting for us with mixed expressions. A sob broke in my throat as I began to sprint towards my sanctuary, collapsing into Rosalie's arms. She embraced me, smoothing my hair as Edward stood bewildered behind us.
"Don't let them take my baby." I told her through my tears in barely a whisper. I knew, however, that the entire family had heard my plea. Her grip around my torso tightened.
"Never." She agreed. Something in her tone assured me that we were safe. A blanket of relief fluttered over me and I knew it was my own conscious relaxing rather than Jasper's gifts forcing away my anxiety. Rosalie would take care of everything; I wouldn't be alone in my battle and it brought an ounce of peace to my troubled mind. Gripping my shoulders, Rosalie led me away, glancing back at Edward as she wiped my silly hormonal tears. He followed dutifully behind us and I knew there would be a great argument when we got back to the house. But it wouldn't matter. I had already won.
By getting Rosalie's help, I knew that Edward's argument didn't stand a chance. I had Rosalie, Emmett and Esme on my side and an even split would leave me with the advantage. Cradling my nudger by folding my arms across my abdomen, I almost burst into tears again from the relief that warmed my entire body. I had no idea that within months, my nudger, the child I loved, would be slowly killing me. For the moment, my victory was enough. Rosalie never left my side as we climbed in the car and I got the feeling she wouldn't be leaving me alone with Edward for a very long time.
Not sure if I'll continue . . . reviews would certainly motivate me! .^_^.
Love,
-Rae
