Hey, sorry I've been away for ages! Who's seen the preview for the upcoming episodes? It makes me excited to see some Ethan&Cal moments in there!
P.S. Does anyone know what song is playing in the background?
Anyway, new one-shot based on this weeks episode with possible spoilers for upcoming episodes.
Everyone messes up; we're only human.
Ethan could accept that. He'd had his own moments, all of which he could list right up to Jeff's death, right up to now. Caleb had never been the same as him. He could never quite understand when he needed to just accept he was wrong or that he'd failed and sometimes (secretly) Ethan could admire that he would attempt the same thing again to prove he could do it, to make something right.
Cal and trouble were somehow linked though and as such things ended in more messes than could be counted. Ethan understood how, because he understood Cal. What he didn't understand was how, repetitively, over and over again, Cal could pull him into it or mess up something of his. He'd bought his new flat for him and Cal moved in, which resulted in the place being in a constant mess. He understood how their lives were never going to revert back to their childhood, how they weren't going to get to 'start again' from the beginning and how they had to work around whatever problems they had and build on from that.
He thought Cal had learned that from nearly losing him.
"Seriously, without you I..."
Obviously not.
"My safety net,"
Obviously he didn't really mean that much.
"You're all I've got,"
He couldn't, not if Cal would do that.
"And I'm sorry I never told you before how much I needed you."
They had a long way to go.
There was a long way to go. To get back to Ethan looking at him without... anger? Hatred? Pity? To get back to 'civil' terms, to 'brotherly' terms; the terms Cal had just come to know and the ones he had (secretly) always loved. But he'd never been good at accepting his mistakes, least of all when they involved his little brother. Somehow it was easier accepting things if he wasn't involved.
Cal knew he messed up more than most people, or at least, more than Ethan and when growing up there had been a scale of one to Ethan - he'd always been between zero and five, nowhere near the level of his brother. He dragged Ethan into his problems, yes, because Ethan was always capable of fixing his own, so surely he could fix his brothers? It didn't quite work that way. Yes, he should have checked, yes, it was stupid, yes, it was for blind, stupid, head over heels love. Yes, he was wrong, very wrong. However he had no idea how to make things right. Right was Ethan; Wrong was Him. It had always been.
"I'm sorry about a lot of things,"
There was a lot to be sorry for after all.
"But you are my little brother,"
Of course he was, he always would be: they should never have grown apart. If only...
"And I love you."
He did, really he did, he'd meant every word he said that day and no matter what happened - thick and thin, bend or break, near or far, life or death - he always would.
He needed Ethan to still believe that.
Cal knew he'd messed up. But accepting it was a lot harder than knowing, yet way easier than fixing.
I've missed writing for these two, but I'm sure I'll have much more to follow from the look of the upcoming episodes!
Thanks for all of the reviews etc. on my other stories, I appreciate it!
Also I think there will be a companion piece to follow this in the coming days, so look out for it if you wish.
