Hello everyone,
I am going to leave the explanation behind this story until the end ..as putting it here would give away the plot.
Now, don't be tempted to skip a head to the end!

Disclaimer: Nope, they're still not mine. Everything and everyone belongs to their rightful owners.


The Symphony

A quick glance to his watch that lay beside the draining board told Castle that she would be home soon; sneaking through the door in an attempt to surprise him, never yet being able to. Not that she had much of a chance, his ears always trained to the almost imperceivable sounds that she made, desperate for her to return home to him after a too long day apart.
And so there he waited, elbow deep in the freshly bubbled washing up, waiting for the return of his very own Detective.


As if sensing his thoughts, it wasn't five minutes before his ears were once more piqued by the gentle creak of their front door, the hinges that he had promised to tighten always giving her away. Coat and bag neatly hung in the hallway cupboard, already in place for tomorrow. Signature high heels discarded on her way to the safe, gun and badge locked up, work blissfully forgotten about for the night.
Every step she took memorised after so many years spent together, each step recognised by the symphony that it created, perfect in the simple domesticity that their lives had become.

The wooden floors whispered under the delicate pad of her sockless feet, expertly avoiding the squeak of the loose board. Four more steps and she was there, a mere breath away from him, the moment he waited his entire day for.
Her hands are the first part of her to find him, spreading across the expanse of his t-shirt covered back, warmth spreading out from her touch as she drew herself impossible close to him, arms enveloping his waist as she went. The cool air of a New York night filling his senses as she does; damp and sooty and impossibly alluring. Her entire body now pressed against his, the weight of the day washing away from her, leaning into him with the relief of being home.

"Hello, Mr. Castle." She hums into his back, voice reverberating against him, soft and seductive in the way that she knows drives him insane.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Castle." He replies, a routine that they have yet to miss a day of in the nearly six years that they have been married.


He dries his hands on the towel left by his side, washing up still only half finished, left now until the morning as it is almost every night. Kate Beckett still too irresistible to wait the five minutes that it would take for him to finish it.
Turning around in her arms, he runs his hands along her hips, dipping under her shirt to draw patterns against her cool, night air skin. Pressing his lips to hers for the kisses that he has been craving since eight o'clock that morning, the familiar hints of coffee mingled with something which is altogether Beckett sending shivers down his spine. The night even sweeter now that she is home, already sleepy in his arms, melding into the cavern of his body.

"Good day?" She asks, voice still muffled by his skin, lips pressed to the crook of his neck.

"It is now you're home."

Castle's heart flutters at the giggle which escapes her without meaning to, loving that he can still make her laugh so easily, her smile infectious as she bats at him arm, muttering something which sounds like "ridiculous man" as she does.

Kissing her again; quickly this time, but still filled with more love than she had ever imagined possible, he answers the question that she had really been asking,

"We had a lovely day, thank you. Went to the park, fed the ducks, ate far too much ice cream."

"How did bedtime go?" Kate asks, guilt edging its way into her words, hating that she wasn't home with her family. That she has to work until all hours of the night, even when they aren't on an active case the endless mountain of paper work never relenting. That she misses out on so much. That she hadn't been tucked up in bed beside Castle, their beautiful little girl cuddled between them for a bedtime story.

"She was asleep before I even had her jammies on."

Castle was hit by the unexpected rush of cool air as Kate leant back from his embrace, eyes sad and filled with regret, bottom lip trembling against the tears she was failing to hold back.

"Every day I get into work and all I want to do is be home with you and our little Lillie Pad. I sit at my desk and I count the hours until I get to come home, praying that I'll at least make it home for bedtime, hating myself each night that I don't. I miss you both so much that it hurts; so much that I can't breathe when I am away from you."

Her voice shook as she spoke, breath catching around the words in such a way that broke his heart to hear, desperately searching for the strength to finish what she needed to say.

"I can't quit, not when deep down I still love what I do. Not when I am still able to make a difference. But, Castle, I'm so scared. What if my little girl grows up hating me for leaving her? What if she thinks that I don't love her?"

"Impossible."

"How do you know?"

"Because I tell her, every night I tell Lillie how much her Mummy loves her; that you're off bravely fighting the monsters so that she can sleep safely. She knows, Kate. She will always know that you love her."

Castle kissed her tears away as he spoke, hands cupping her cheeks, making sure she heard every word that he said. Pulling her tight against him once more, warmth and reassurance flooding from every fibre of his being, doing all that he could to take away her pain.


Settling himself into the corner of the settee, his eyes find her immediately, the soft light caressing her slender form, long legs and swaying hips too irresistible for words.
He knows that she'll tell him off if she catches him watching her, tell him that it's creepy, hide away from his gaze. But he can't help it, even after all these years, everything that she does still has him utterly captivated. Forever under her spell.
He loves the moment that she catches his eye, wine glasses meeting the table as her smile turns shy, cheeks blushed almost pink and all the more beautiful for it.

Her body is deliciously pressed against his as she wriggles deeper into his arms, sipping on the red wine that she will only allow herself to have on Friday nights, knowing that she won't need to be up early for work the next day.
His arms wrapped around her belly, nose nuzzled into the back of her neck, peppering the delicate skin with kisses that tell her how glad he is to have her home; missing her just as much as she misses them.
Both glad for the hours of simple pleasures that they have ahead of them, warm and safe in each other's arms, the whole weekend dedicated to their family.
They quickly fall into easy conversation, chaste kisses passing between them every so often, catching up on everything that they have missed over the past week.


"Daddy?"

The quiet call of his daughter pulls Castle's attention from their conversation about the next Nikki Heat novel.
Turning to answer her, he is shocked by her wide eyes; scared and searching, pyjama clad feet shuffling against each other in uncertainty, hair tangled from a restless sleep.

"Lillie, what's wrong baby?" His voice is soft and gentle, arms out stretched to his little girl.

"Daddy, who are you talking to?" She asks, now stood by his side, eyes still searching the empty space on the settee beside him, begging to understand.

The realisation washes over him, the warmth and light of the woman he loves destroyed by a ranging emptiness, bitter and unyielding. He now sees the night for what it truly is, a figment of his imagination, a trick of his mind, a desperate attempt to sooth the pain of his shattered heart.
He hears their voices swimming in his head; everyone he loves, his family and friends, telling him that he needs to stop doing this. He has to move on, it isn't healthy. He can't keep living with a ghost.

But they don't understand, he needs her, he isn't ready to let go. She isn't a ghost, she's an angel. His guiding force, his beacon of hope.
When he's with her, his life makes sense again. He knows it isn't normal, but then neither is he, not anymore. Not without Kate. He can't let her go, not until he's stronger; able to survive.

She doesn't visit as often as she used to, it had been weeks since he had last seen her, last fallen asleep on the settee with her tucked against his chest. She used to stay for days, weeks at a time, never leaving his side, helping him to care for the little girl that she had loved so dearly.
Now she never stays for longer than a day; he always wakes up alone, finds the strength within himself to get up, to carry on, to live.

Pushing himself from his own thoughts, Castle stands up from his place on the settee, picking up their Daughter and hugging her close, tears threatening to spill from her beautiful hazel eyes, lips quivering in exactly the way that her Mummy's did.
Her hands grip tightly to his shirt, head buried into his chest, too tired to remember what had brought her downstairs in the middle of the night. It didn't matter anymore; she had found her Daddy, tears tumbling over in relief; the safety he offers, soaking into his shirt as they fall.

"Sshhh, baby, it's okay. Daddy's here."

Castle whispers soft reassurances into her hair, flicking the lights off as he carries his baby girl back upstairs, heading for the warmth of his bed.

Kate would be back, maybe not for a long while, but she always came back. Ethereal dreams, memories of a lifetime spent together, a guardian angel to see him though the darkest of nights.
He was slowly learning how to exist without her, without the woman who had become his entire life. A life that lived on within their daughter; their beautiful little Lillie Pad, who made him carry on despite the pain that contacted around his heart, twisting almost to the point that he could no longer bear it.
Her Mummy's love never forgotten; a love that was shared between them, always.

End.


I know, I know, I'm an awful person!

I was watching a film called The Boys Are Back on BBC2 last night (so lovely - heartbreakingly sad), and this was the result.
In 'real life' - and by that I mean Castle itself - I wouldn't survive such a thing happening ..but my head can't seem to stay away from sadness.

Thank you for reading.
Please let me know what you thought ..any feedback at all is greatly appreciated.

Katie