"The Winner Is Fate"
By Sweet Jane
For Sarah—Happy Birthday!
Note: Story takes place near the end of the infamous foot massage scene in Episode 25. Also, this is my first time posting to . Oh, this is my first DN fic! Please tell me what you think!!
You miss a chord, my heartstrings break.
Your fingers play; can't sing this ache.
Ryuuzaki's apology was like an arsenic-laced aphrodisiac: potent, poisonous, and potentially arousing.
I'm sorry.
Raito imagined Ryuuzaki repeating those words over and over, until he dropped dead at Kira's command. Ryuuzaki bowed his head, huddled at Raito's feet with a semblance of contrition. His subservient positioning left Raito nothing short of breathless; the rain-soaked shirt clung tightly to his chest, constricting some vital tension beneath the chilly flesh. Though highly anticipated, Ryuuzaki's quiet acquiescence was most unexpected. For the first time in their tumultuous acquaintance, Raito was truly dumbfounded by Ryuuzaki's behavior. After all, the detective had always asserted his theory that Raito was Kira, regardless of what anybody else thought or said. Ryuuzaki had never feared being the odd man out.
None of Raito's frequent, violent fantasies of his foe's inevitable defeat had ever prepared him for this simple surrender. Immediately, the ever-lurking Kira snuck suspicion into his brain.
That bug-eyed freak has one more trick up his sleeve.
Raito frowned, motionless as Ryuuzaki's talented fingers kneaded the ball of his left foot with alarming skill. His expression was too dark to read.
What are you planning, L? What's your final method of attack?
The phone rang, startling them both out of the moment. Ryuuzaki immediately answered it, then turned away from Raito with a weird sort of smugness. An unreasonable worm of worry slithered up Raito's spine. He didn't think he could handle yet another road block thwarting his efforts to erase L from the planet.
"We'll be right there," Ryuuzaki affirmed, hanging up on the caller, presumably Watari. Instantly, the vulnerable melancholy which had doused his sharp features more than the rain vanished. Raito found himself wishing for its return.
"What's going on?" he asked, gritting his teeth.
"Everything may turn out okay, after all," Ryuuzaki informed him, the good cheer in his tone masking any presence of doubt. Raito stared at his smirking mouth, seething in fury. Ryuuzaki hurried down a few steps, but stopped in his tracks when he realized Raito wasn't following him. Shoulders sagging, Ryuuzaki sighed, as if it pained him to speak.
"Why does it have to be today, Raito-kun? Why now?"
Adrenaline shot through Raito's veins, quicker, stronger, and deadlier than any drug. He couldn't know--I don't even know exactly when Rem will initiate the plan.
"What are you talk—"
"Kira is crueler than I had initially conjectured," Ryuuzaki mused, absentmindedly scuffing the ground with his shoes. Powerful, intense loathing spilled from Raito's pores, drowning the curtain of composure he had tried to sustain. Behind the glare of L's gaze, Kira awakened.
"Shut up!" Raito snapped, unintentionally tightening his hands into fists. Without warning, Ryuuzaki spun around, smiling without his eyes.
"Are you ordering me, or begging me…?" Ryuuzaki mused, climbing the steps to where Raito stood shadowed in rage. "…Kira."
Raito flew down the stairs, bridging the gap between them with the intent to punish.
"STOP calling me that!"
"Never."
Insolent bastard! His inner Kira glowered. Raito grabbed Ryuuzaki's face, pulling him forward. Ryuuzaki released a startled gasp, but otherwise remained impassive.
"For the last time, Ryuuzaki—I am NOT Kira!"
"You're right, Raito-kun," Ryuuzaki said, inching his cold, clammy fingers up Raito's forearms. Against his will, Raito shivered. Ryuuzaki's eyes widened, seemingly ready to pop out of their sockets. Lowering his voice to the slightest husk, Ryuuzaki whispered, "This is the last time."
Something fragile inside Raito shattered; he managed not to implode from the impact by matching Ryuuzaki's haunting stare.
"Don't be stupid."
"It's too late for that," Ryuuzaki responded, his hands resting atop Raito's with the stiffness of a corpse. Kira squirmed away from his touch, but Raito lunged forward to capture the spoils of his imminent victory. Their mouths collided in a gnash of soft lips and sharp teeth. In his darkest heart, Raito had always known that the tension between them would erupt like this, so he wasn't surprised by its eventual occurrence. He could even admit that he was glad it had finally happened. After all the months they had spent--apart, together--he had earned this moment. Nevertheless, Raito fought the urge to vomit. He was kissing the vilest, most wretched person he had ever met; yet the feeling behind his actions was savage, hateful love. He couldn't imagine a worse scenario. Inside Raito's head, Kira mocked him.
Sleeping with the enemy? You should know better than to entrap yourself with this mere mortal. This despicable, loathsome man makes you sick.
Curiosity, however, was starving to see L's strategy. Raito lingered in the kiss, half-hoping, half-dreading to learn of its outcome. Ryuuzaki budged not a muscle, though his pulse beat feverishly against Raito's flesh. Their lips, glued together with saliva and suction and greedy want, remained firmly wedged. Ryuuzaki stared at him with those UFO-saucer eyes, watching his every move, waiting for a sign of Kira. Raito wanted to wipe the life out of them; the thrill of tasting his enemy was excruciating. Ten seconds later, his legendary patience cracked. Once more, Kira tried to stop him.
You can't beat L at this; right now he's got the upper hand! Don't—
At that moment, however, desire was stronger than principle.Inch by inch, Raito intensified the kiss, silencing Kira's protests with a penetrating lick to the inside of Ryuuzaki's sugar-sweetened mouth. Ryuuzaki's groan of lustful surprise jarred Raito to the bone. Fingers gripped Raito's toned shoulders like barbed hooks; the simultaneous pleasure and pain was enough to harden him to the hilt. Raito panted with yearning and grief; below the surface, a slow ache bloomed.
Now you've done it, Kira whispered. You've lost.
I didn't lose! Raito protested, even as Ryuuzaki's wandering lips moved to his collarbone. He'll be dead soon enough. There's less than a two percent chance that Rem will fail.
Ryuuzaki's mouth distracted him, trailing a wayward path from his neck to his shoulders; to his stomach to his hips; to his groin, to his core. On his knees, Ryuuzaki unzipped Raito's pants, forcing them down, coaxing his boxers along with them. Raito drew a deep breath reminiscent of a moan. Inspecting him from head to toe, Ryuuzaki observed Raito's nakedness with slow scrutiny. His eyes paused for a while on Raito's swollen length, contemplating its size and shape. Raito swallowed a whimper. Ryuuzaki looked up, smiling in a way that nearly forced Raito's legs to tremble.
"Raito-kun," Ryuuzaki murmured against his bare thigh, sending spirals of shivers up his spine. Raito's alter-ego despaired.
Loser! Kira taunted. Nonetheless, Raito couldn't resist. In fact, he didn't want to resist, especially not when Ryuuzaki's fingers smoothed his foreskin up and down with clumsy anticipation; or when he ran his nose along the length of Raito's cock, nuzzling it; and then tenderly licking the tip. Despising himself, Raito cried aloud, pulling his nemesis closer. He let his eyes fall shut, even though Ryuuzaki had yet to blink. In truth, Kira simply couldn't bear to watch Raito's temporary downfall at the mercy of L's hidden weapon.
The wettest, most agonizing heat sucked his cock into submission. Instants before orgasm, Raito imagined he heard the dim chiming of Ryuuzaki's bells; they were calling for him.
Later, Ryuuzaki lay dying in his arms. Kira rose victorious, towering over L's prone figure with fierce triumph.
I WON!
Raito rode the wave of Kira's triumph as death-shivers wracked Ryuuzaki's slight frame. He thought of the past. He remembered the first time they had met. He recalled the nights they had spent chained together, when his forfeit of the Death Note had lent him false innocence. At that time, he had tricked Ryuuzaki into friendship; fooling even himself with the sheep's clothing he had donned to disguise the bloodthirsty Kira. Ryuuzaki had eventually discerned the ruse, but not before his heart had suffered love's fatal war-wounds. In short, the two of them had battled to the bitter end, but not without feeling. L was his enemy, his obsession…his fate. Ryuuzaki, however, was something else, something far more sinister and tragic than Raito could have ever envisioned: Ryuuzaki was his friend. Moisture leaked from Raito's red-tinged eyes, but he barely noticed the trickle.
Don't you DARE regret this!! Kira commanded. You've wanted him dead since the moment you learned of his existence.
Ryuuzaki clutched his sleeve. Their bodies were so close; Raito could feel the rapid waning of his rival's pulse, but he wasn't dying fast enough. Raito heard the shouts of the other detectives with drugged detachment, focusing solely on the light fading from Ryuuzaki's unblinking globes. A calm sort of horror hovered in them. He knows. Kira split his lips into a vicious grin as dark joy coursed through his veins. Ryuuzaki's look of defeat was comic, pathetic; priceless. L, you fool. God can't be defeated by any human being.
Slowly, Ryuuzaki's eyes began to shut. The terror-stricken expression was still alive within them, but another emotion was crowding space. Kira peered deeper, but couldn't identify the foreign sentiment. Raito, however, recognized the familiar features of heartbreak. I betrayed him, but he let me. He knew who I was all along. It was his fault that he fell in love with me--with Death. Ryuuzaki'seyelids grew heavier; his breathing diminished to ghostly gasps; his pulse slowed to its destined stop. This was the end. These were the final moments of L's life, and Kira had stolen them all.
L should count his blessings; he had the rare privilege of seeing God's true face, of tasting his power firsthand. Wouldn't you agree?
There was a small, shameful part of Raito that wanted to scream. Instead, he soundlessly observed Death's handiwork, captivated as L succumbed to his humanity.
The victory is mine, L--Ryuuzaki. Our bond was never meant to be.
Ryuuzaki died without a sigh, but a stray tear slid from the corner of a shuttered eye. Raito stared, still smiling, basking in that one moment of silence before all hell would break loose.
Good night, my greatest adversary. You're the only one who ever came close to equaling me; you failed, just like everyone else.
Raito peered at his waxen visage, scrutinizing any details of death he had previously overlooked. Ryuuzaki looked restless, even though eternal sleep had already staked its claim upon him.
Raito's gaze fell to Ryuuzaki's mouth. The lips he had ravaged with kisses had fallen slack, sagging like old elastic. Raito recoiled, suddenly comprehending that those candy-coated petals would never again yield to him. There would not exist another opportunity for him to plunder his way into Ryuuzaki's depths. The high of Kira's success was falling fast; Raito denied the bulging panic bubbling in his chest.
What do you care if you'll never feel what it's like to fuck him? Kira challenged, harshly cackling. Less than an hour ago, he pulled down your pants and gave you the next best thing.
Raito's gut wrenched, heaving with nausea, disgust, and disbelief. Temporary insanity scrambled his brain.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki! Quit playing around! Wake up!"
He shook the lifeless body, grimacing at its doll-like immobility.
"Ryuuzaki!"
Ryuuzaki is dead. Our games are over. No more him vs. me. His elation dropped to the floor at Ryuuzaki's cooling feet Rationality fled him, and he shrieked out the sorrow he had previously denied feeling. The remaining members of the investigation team moved toward him, perhaps in an attempt to provide comfort. Raito warded them off, cradling Ryuuzaki's slain body in a way that was almost possessive. Kira bellowed his outrage at this outburst of weakness, but Raito was too busy shouting his vocal chords raw to care. He looked around the room, eyes wild with pain.
Pull yourself together! They'll suspect something if you don't! Kira's ever-plotting tongue advised him. Heeding the warning, Raito gathered his wits, relying on survival instinct before the glaring, cold reality of Ryuuzaki's demise could consume him. Seconds later, he turned to the team, crying his false fears that the shinigami would kill them all, that they would soon join Ryuuzaki in death.
From that point on, everything else was a piece of cake. Raito managed to successfully retrieve the other Death Note without attracting the attention of his father or the other investigators. Standing over Rem's ashy carcass, he wiped her remains off his hands; satisfied that the lovesick bitch had kept her word. As he walked away from the crime scene, Kira freely gloated. The God of the New World! With L eliminated, I am invincible. Before long, they'll all bow down to me.
For the present, Raito shook the vision of Ryuuzaki's reproachful, gloomy eyes out of his head. It was finally time to celebrate Kira's long-deserved coronation as the ruler of mankind.
Long live The King!
Still, Raito woke up early the next morning, awash in icy sweat, rubbing at the phantom handcuff on his wrist.
No rest for the wicked, L had hissed just before Raito could escape from Nightmare World; the only kingdom where Kira's conquests reigned supreme.
Now, as Raito inhaled the suffocating stickiness of dawn's air, as faint mourning bells tolled a distant doom, he held no comfort in the fact that he had awoken alone to a lawless future; to an empty bed.
-Owari-
