A/N: Sequel to Bittersweet Betrayal, song used is Nobody Knows by Kevin Sharp
3.5 years later
New York
I pretend that I'm glad you went away
His child would be not yet three, after he watched her drive off, never to see her again, he'd returned to the apartment, the empty apartment, nothing but his remained, while the furniture remained but everything that had made it home had disappeared, no smell of her perfume, no personal touches, not even a forgotten shirt nothing.
These four walls close in more everydayHe had walked into the bathroom to have a shower to try and wash all the grime of the hospital off him, when he saw something in the waste basket, it wasn't something that should be in there. A crumpled up piece of paper. He smoothed it out against the sink counter top. The hospital's logo was in the corner and what looked like test results.
It was good she didn't have anything, but then he saw how far along she was. She wasn't joking.
And I'm dyin inside but no one knows it but meHe returned to work shortly after his injuries, working doubles sometimes triples to get his mind off of things. It had worked for a little bit until he all he could think about was how she was doing and what cravings she had when she was pregnant. His mother had craved strawberries for him, and tomatoes with Mikey. Almost everything he did would remind him of Ashley, when someone cut him off he remembered her yelling at all the people who had cut her off.
Like a clown I put on a showIt had been over three years and here he was still pining away for her. What kind of person does that?
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Everyone had thought he moved on, moving through women like there was no tomorrow and he couldn't help comparing them to Ashley, some how all of them came up short.
And I'm crying inside and nobody knows it but meHe knew how his night was going to go, he was going to go home to their apartment, he couldn't part with the apartment. He some how hoped if he kept it the way she had, that one day she would come back it was silly but it was only a dream.
Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is tumblin' down
He didn't know how much longer he could do this, how much longer he could burn the midnight owl, he was exhausted in every sense they was. He wanted her, he had searched in his down time, trying to find her, but she was an ex cop, she knew how it worked, if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be. He came up with very little on that end so he broke down and hired a PI, which should be calling within the hour to give him some news. He'd hired the best, no matter the cost he had to find her and his daughter; he had a right to be in her life.
I can see it so clearly but you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me
Back to what he would do when he arrived at home, he would head home, on the way grab a pizza or Chinese whatever he chose, then he would grab beer out of the fridge then plop down in front of the TV and stay there until he was too tired to move then move to their bed sleep always claiming him instantly.
How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
Just like a jugsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
Every so often he would go to a bar after work pick up some sleaze have a good few hours then the pain would settle back in, and he would no longer want to see the girl. The girl always got the hint, and left shortly after the deed had been done.
A million years from now, you know, I'll be loving you still
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me
Thanks to Hayden he had seen what his baby girl had looked like, a little threatening that he would rip him limb from limb if he didn't show him the pictures that he had been showing Lamb at the time, Hayden had winced when Lamb had said who's kid it had been, he knew then Hayden knew exactly where Ashley was but wouldn't tell him, he was lucky that he had gotten to see the pictures, Hayden had even given him a copy. Saying that was the best he could do, Ashley would kill him if, Bosco had found out where the two were.
He looked at the pictures now, he'd forced Hayden to give him copies of every picture Ashley had ever sent him and it had to be over three dozen all in different stages of Lily's growth.
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
He couldn't quite put a name to the emotion he was feeling, he had a daughter, someone who had been half him. Even had his nose and his baby blues. Time would tell if she have the same stubborn streak a mile wide that both he and Ashley both had. Once he had his information about his daughter. A smile always came whenever he said 'my daughter' he still couldn't believe that he had produced a real live human being.
Nobody knows but me
Naturally, when he first got the pictures he had made another copy for ma. Her eyes had filled up with tears when he had given them to her, she embraced him in a tight hug silently weeping. Her dream had come true; he had given her a grand child.
Through her tears she had quietly asked what her granddaughter name was. He couldn't stop smiling. He answered "Lillian Rose, but she's called Lily for short" a new batch of tears had formed in his ma's eyes and silently rolled down her already moistened cheeks. Then she sobered and asked where she was he had hesitantly told her that he didn't know and went on to tell her why Ashley had left. Ma had agreed with Ashley one hundred percent and scolded him for not going after her.
The day after that he saw Hayden and pulled him aside asking if he could get a message to Ashley he reluctantly agreed but told him if it had anything to do with his feelings then he wouldn't do it. Bosco had angrily told him no that it wasn't but to tell Ashley that his mother knew about Lily.
One week to the day, Hayden handed Bosco a letter addressed to Rose. No address or anything telling him that it had been sent to Hayden first and then he was to give it to him.
He watched how his mother's eyes had welled up again, as she read a letter then moved onto another page. The second page had been a picture drawn by Lily. It was nothing more than scribbles of colour but Ashley had printed what it was meant to be 'Lily and Mommy swimming' there was a big blue spot in the middle of the page he assumed that it was the water.
To the day the very picture hung on Rose's fridge showing off to her friends what her granddaughter did and the recent photo's that had been sent. Lily was growing up so fast. Which made him long for wrapping his arms around her and her mother too, and them welcoming him with open arms.
Now he sat on the couch, staring at the recent photo his mother had given him the day before. It had both Ashley and Lily in it, his mother's asking probably. She went on and on about wanting to see what Lily's mother had looked like. Only having just a glance at the hospital after the accident. Ashley had lightened her hair to a light brown; she looked incredible but then again always had.
He pushed away the cold pizza his stomach telling him that he needed a home cooked meal, not something covered in grease. Maybe another trip to Ma's she was always complaining that he didn't spend time with her, she was growing older everyday, she never knew what day would be her last. Yada yada yada. But she did have a point, before he went he wanted to meet his daughter and for her to know that he loved her very much.
He fell asleep staring at the picture of Lily and Ashley smiling into the camera, just before dawn.
Las Vegas
Ashley closed the door to Lily's bedroom half way, finally the little one was asleep, she had an ear infection for the last week, and it was a bugger to the medicine into, that's where bribing had come in, she had to promise to give her an ice cream cone or buy her a new toy, she knew it was wrong but, give anyone a two and a half year old, with an ear infection who cried at the top of her lungs because it hurt, and try telling her that by taking medicine would help get rid of it. Who ever came up with the rule about never bribing your kids to do stuff, obviously didn't have kids of their own.
She checked a glance at the clock, just past nine-thirty, Greg would be over for his evening meal. She cooked him supper while he took Ashley and Lily out for breakfast everyday, if he was working a double then lunch before he would go home and crash until next feeding time.
She filled a pot with water and put it on the stove thinking about where her life had turned out so far. She never thought in a million years that she had a kid, whom she loved more than life it's self. For that she was grateful that he had given her such a blessing, just wait until she reached puberty. Which wasn't for another ten years, grateful for that too. So many times she had thought about putting it up for adoption, even when she was in labour but the moment she saw the pink little face, she knew she couldn't and so this is where she was now. She grabbed the noodles from the cupboard and dropped two handfuls in.
Greg had been a lifesaver letting her stay with him until she found an apartment she liked, her luck was an apartment opened up right across from him, and she gladly took it. So know she had an apartment with a great view and nice size little patio, where Greg had a view of a brick wall. She let out a little laugh and glanced towards Lily's bedroom, no sound, good she wasn't awake.
She was glad she already had cooked the hamburg this afternoon when Lily had gone down for a nap, falling asleep watching a favourite movie of hers 'The Incredibles' it really was a good movie, Ashley liked it too, especially Edna Mole. She got out the sauce out of the tall cupboard and put that into another pot on the stove, the noodles just about done, she added the hamburg and a few spices to the sauce, which was almost done too.
She wondered how Bosco was doing, she knew it wasn't fair to keep him from his daughter but she wasn't going back. When Lily asked about her father then it was time to give Bosco a call, she just hoped that was thirty years from now but she knew she couldn't get that lucky. The questions would start sooner rather than later.
The door slammed sending Lily into a crying fit, she threw Greg and evil glare and he went to get Lily who had toned down for the time being. Giggles erupted from the bedroom and soon both appeared.
Ashley sat two plates on the table filled with spaghetti and put some garlic bread in the oven to cook for a few minutes. Greg was good with kids, which kinda surprised her because he was a little kid himself, which is why Lily and him got along so well. At the moment Lily was flying around the room, Greg making that happen. She shut off the oven and took out the bread and placed it on the table on a plate.
"Here mommy" Air Lily came flying towards her, she opened her arms and Air Lily smacked right into her, making her take a few steps back. Greg laughed and made his way over to the table to the food.
She put Lily into her high chair and got her a dish of Cheerio's; Lily started eating them one by one. Greg was about to take his first bite, when he spoke
"Oh I hope you don't mind, but I invited Nick, he got sick of me telling how good your food was" she threw daggers at Greg before, but was stopped when a knock was heard.
"Your impossible" she said to Greg as she got up and went to answer the door.
Nick and her did not get along, they could be in a room for five minutes or five hours and they were arguing about stupid little things, somehow he pushed her buttons even worse than Bosco did. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way, and she was the only one everyone else got along with him. Then why do you get flustered every time you see him? I don't I just want to rip his head off every time I see him.
She opened the door, the sight of him made her stomach flop.
"Hello Nick" her voice thankfully came out normal
"Ashley" he made her step out of the way, invading her personal space. And some how she liked it.
"Why don't you join us?" she said bitterly, Lily made garbled sounds, and Greg talking to her.
"Don't mind if I do"
