Disclaimer: I do not anything remotely related to The WB or One Tree Hill, other than a couple of pics of CMM! Yummm!

Summary: Peyton's POV on her life

It's hard, which's not news, everyone has heard the horror stories that are high school, but you come to believe it's a phase. As a teenager, everything's a phase, "It'll pass", they say. What do they know?
You seem to lose yourself sometime during all the searching, ironic, isn't it? You become so deep in confusion that you don't even know what you're confused about anymore. What am I doing? What am I looking for? What's missing? The questions are enough to make a person insane, but not a strong person. I'm strong...right? Why are the easiest questions the hardest to answer? Why do the answers leave you with more questions? Maybe the person seeking answers is doomed to live without them.
How do you find satisfaction? Not the fleeting, momentary feeling of success, but the feeling that your better than average, above and beyond.... worth something. But then there's that contradictory feeling echoing that you are worth something, loved by somebody, somewhere. Then why do you feel like your lacking something? What is it? How do you find it? Where do you look? Then again, the answers seem to be easy, like they're there, just waiting to be found. You turn to hobbies, activities that you're good at, or want to be good at, anything you can lose yourself in. Then, when your aspirations are met with disappointments, your back to questions.
Sometimes, in high school, you want to be one of those kids who are unafraid to break all the rules, party all night, you know, the "cool kids", who have all the fun. Sometimes you are those kids, wishing you were someone else. Why is it easier to break the rules than to follow them? Why do you find yourself constantly trying to be someone else? What do you do if you don't know how be yourself? How do you change if you don't know what you're changing? How do you find the drive and the courage to be who you were meant to be?
It's funny, but after all the questioning you think you know the answer, in fact, you may have known all along. One word. Confidence. You're not really sure why that's the answer, but it is. But that leaves you with only one question, how do you get it? Somehow people think they have the answer, that it's as simple as, "just doing it." How is that a solution, who gets paid to give you that answer? Maybe they're right, maybe that is all there is to it. That's what you do to accomplish everything, just do it. Ha. Easier said than done.

* Thanks for reading! I would love some reviews. I really hope I captured Peyton's voice. Thanks again.