Word count: 2000

Genre: Family, romance

Rating: worksafe

Note: I wanted to write about Dean and Cas not being the stereotypical happily-ever-after couple, because I imagine that they'd need a lot of help to figure these things out.


Sam had spent months - yeah, months, because damn, if hackers didn't know how to cover their tracks better than any supernatural creature he'd ever hunted - preparing Dean and Cas' third anniversary gift.

Let's clarify a bit.

By anniversary, we don't mean the anniversary of their wedding, exactly, because Dean and Cas weren't married, unless you counted the wrinkled and stained piece of paper which declared Dean Smith and Castiel Conner legally married in all the nine states that acknowledged such a union. Dean and Castiel themselves cared about giving their "thing" a name just about as much as they cared about that piece of paper, which was forgotten somewhere at the bottom of Dean's old duffel-bag, which was now stored away on a shelf in the garage.

There had never been a ceremony, and they'd never declared themselves an official couple, but after Dean had bought a house, in which him and Castiel, several years later (the house had simply started out as a substitute to Bobby's old junk-yard, and most of the rooms were just filled to the brim with old books which they had salvaged from the old man's place), actually spent more time at than they did the road, Sam had thought it best to secure some sort of identity, a back story, something to tell people who came asking about the strange pair.

Sam himself had a room of his own in the house, of course, but not even the vast number of books which lines the walls could block out the noises he'd really preferred if he'd gone his whole life without hearing, so in the end, he'd rented a small apartment in a complex only a few minutes ride from his brother and his angel's home.

Now, since Dean and Cas didn't really consider themselves married, or even "dating", Sam was a little nervous about the gift he'd prepared them. He was rather proud of it, and the effort he'd put into it was almost incomprehensible. Charlie Bradbury was an exceptionally difficult girl to find, especially since she wasn't even called Charlie Bradbury. But if it was one thing Sam was good at, it was finding things online - people, omens, you name it - and after a six month period of extensive searching, he'd managed to confirm the girl's location.

Getting through to her was another thing entirely. Naturally, Charlie had been able to tell right away who it was that was contacting her, and for another month, she refused to reply to his emails and calls. Finally, Sam had said screw it and gotten in his car. Charlie - or Melanie, as she was called now - threw a full panic fit when she saw him, which resulted in an impromptu visit to the local police station and a full night in a cell before Cha- Melanie came and admitted to the officers that Sam wasn't, in fact, an ex-boyfriend who was stalking her.

They had breakfast together at a rather cozy coffee-shop, and Sam finally got to explain that all he wanted was a favor, and it had nothing to do with what he did, there'd be no mortal danger involved, just a little illegal hacking. Into the databases both the government and FBI.

"So, completely safe and harmless," Cha- Melanie said, raising an eyebrow.

Sam shrugged.

"You don't have to do it, if you think it'll be too difficult-"

Cha- Melanie snorted.

"Sam, difficult doesn't begin to cover it, that's damn near impossible."

Sam's shoulder slumped.

"So you can't do it."

Melanie leaned forward, giving him a thorough glare.

"What do you take me for? Of course I can. But it'll cost ya."

And she could. Only two days later (and most of the last day had been spent in various comic book shops where Melanie had shopped to her heart's content while Sam's credit card wept, Sam was on his way home with printed copies which confirmed that not only were Dean Winchester alive and kicking, but his record was as squeaky clean like the day he was born. In another folder were the birth certificate of one Castiel Novak, twin brother to the late James Novak, complete with degrees in several modern and ancient languages and cultures, a doctorate in Theology, with a side dish of extensive research in demonology.

The two folders lay on top of a third one, and this was the folder what really made Sam nervous. He wasn't sure how his brother would handle this part of his gift, seeing as he'd discarded the previous faked wedding certificates with such disinterest - Sam doubted they'd ever be able to find the crumpled papers again, and even if they did, they most likely wouldn't be in one piece, perhaps not even readable.

But he really needed to do this, if nothing else then so they could start their lives for real, all three of them, because as long as things remained unofficial and uncertain, Sam never truly dared to believe that it was over, that they were past monsters and demons and apocalypses. And he needed to be allowed to believe it so bad, as did Dean and Cas.

And so it happened that Sam found himself seated in front of Dean and Castiel's rickety kitchen table, fidgeting with the third folder as his brother and the fallen angel read through the papers that served as hard proof that they could now, once and for all, put the hunter lifestyle behind them, should they wish to do so. Dean's eyes traced the rows of his files, before he leaned over and glared suspiciously at Castiel's papers.

"This some kind of joke, Sam?" he finally asked.

"What do you think, Dean?"

"What am I supposed to think; you want me to believe you hacked into the freaking pentagon or whatever and altered my police records. I know you can't pull this off."

"Not me, no, but Charlie can."

"Why the hell is Char- Oh, wait, you don't mean...?"

"The one and only. She cleaned your name, and gave Cas an identity in less than twenty-four hours."

Dean blinked. "That's- woah. That's insane, man."

"Tell me about it."

"Just one more question - why does the last of Cas' paper say 'Winchester'? Thought his name was supposed to be Novak, like Jimmy's name was."

Sam squirmed uncomfortably, clutching the final folder a little harder in his hands.

"Well, about that... I've got something more for you. I know you don't care more about these things, I don't even know where the first one went, but I thought that even if you don't care, it'd be nice to know you've got some kind of right by the legal system, to, you know, be there if one of you got into an accident or something, get in the same nursery home in the future if you want to, or maybe, I don't know, have a family..."

"Sam. Sam."

Sam looked up to meet his brother's bewildered gaze. Beside him, Castiel was frowning at his many language degrees.

Dean shook his head. " I don't even understand half of what you're saying. What nursing home?"

Sam chuckled nervously. "Never mind. Here." He leaned over the table, handing the third folder to his confused brother, who didn't take his eyes off Sam's as he opened it. Only when the white sheets were fully displayed to him did he let his eyes lower to regard the new papers. For a full minute - which to Sam felt like an eternity - he just stared at them. Licking his lips, he flipped the first sheet, and glanced at the second and third as well, before looking back up at Sam.

" Seriously, Sammy?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I thought it'd be better if you were actually married as yourselves. It's easier, and-"

"Sam, shut up for a minute. I'm not disagreeing with you, what I wanna know is exactly how the hell you knew about this date."

Sam blinked. "What date."

"This date, the day when- I mean, how did you know that we... That me and Cas..." Dean trailed off, face bright red and eyes darting every which direction. Sam stared at him, realization crawling upon him slowly. He would have exclaimed that this was way too heavy on the details of his brother's sex life - as usual - but the fact of the matter was that Sam had picked that date for a reason, and despite the circumstances, it was pretty nice to get confirmation.

"Well, then the two of you come down from your room in the morning, looking like cats who've just bathed in cream-" Wait, why would he use that comparison, ew, ew, ew! Sam had to take a moment to compose himself, and Dean made a face at him. Sam bravely shook it off and continued as if nothing had happened. "I mean, looking like the happiest either of you have ever looked, and announced that you'd decided to stay at this place pretty much permanently from then on, it was pretty easy to figure out something was up. I mean, in your book, committing to any kind of relationship has gotta count as at least half-married already, right?"

Dean was still glaring at him. Then he drew a deep breath.

"That's it, no more romance novels for you. Cas, we have to find Sammy here a decent man to marry so he can get his head out of the blue."

Sam grimaced at his brother. Castiel, on the other hand, didn't react, as he was still busy studying his own papers. Sam realized with a pang of worry that his brother's angel - his brother's husband - hadn't said anything ever since he was handed the folder.

"Eh... Cas?" he asked, carefully. "Is everything okay?"

"Sam..." Castiel begun, looking up at the younger Winchester with an even more serious expression than usual. "I believe that you have made a mistake."

Sam's heart sank like a stone. He'd never even considered how Castiel would feel about this whole idea. Maybe he didn't want to have human birth records at all; perhaps that would be really disrespectful towards his true background or something. Damn, he'd really gone and done it now.

He looked anxiously at Dean, who strangely didn't looked worried at all, only expectant. "What's your problem," he asked, and Sam winced at the insensitive tone. Castiel, however, didn't seem to mind at all.

"There's a miscalculation in these papers. Not even a hundredth of the languages I have knowledge of are listed in my degrees; these papers will create a misconception about my skill level."

Sam stared. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Of course all the languages you know aren't listed; they'd think you're a freaking computer if you knew more than thirty languages!"

Castiel looked at Dean, who looked back, eyebrows raised meaningfully. Sam looked from one to the other, and finally understood that it was all good, everything was fine, he'd done well and both his brother and Castiel would be okay now. He started getting to his feet.

"So, I need to get to work... And I guess I should let you guys discuss what you wanna use your new identities for in peace."

Dean waved at him, eyes still locked on his angel (really, Sam would never be able to understand that habit of theirs, how didn't they get tired of staring at each other for hours - at least that's what he figured they did - at end?).

"Yeah, hurry up and get out of here, we need to consummate our marriage!"

Sam hurried.