Even years after things ended between us, it is hard for me to look at Tenzin without comparing myself to his wife. Back then, I thought of her as a harmless little creature who wandered around the edges of my life, but was powerless to affect me in any meaningful way. I was confident in my abilities and proud to stand as my mother's hand-picked successor in the police force. Tenzin and I fought sometimes, but that added spice to a relationship where our different temperaments perfectly complemented each other. At least I thought so.

When Pema shattered the foundations of my world, I never saw it coming. These days, I can admit that I see her quiet grace and the gentleness that is so like Tenzin's. I can tell that he never looked at me the way he looks at her. But back then, it was the hardest thing I had ever lived through. It felt like our families and friends all sided with him and nobody was left to listen and understand what I was going through. Had he been so miserable with me that this mousy little child could unravel what we had built together? Was I so repulsive that he'd rather be with this weak woman who could never understand the joy we had shared in bending and reshaping the physical world? What was wrong with me that she was better?

In the darkest times, I wondered if he had ever truly wanted to be with me. After all, my children might have bent earth instead of air. It hurt to think that something I took such pride in could have driven away the man I cared for so much. I had a career I loved too, and wouldn't have been able to sacrifice everything to devote my whole life to raising a family. Had I just been a diversion until someone better came along?

Things are easier now. The years have dulled what I felt then and I can look at Pema without hating her for what happened. We both avoid each other, but when we speak I feel as though we could almost be friends. She is a sweet girl and it's plain to me that she makes Tenzin happy. It's only when I go home to empty stone walls instead of open arms that things are hard. When I sit with my eyes closed, sometimes I feel that there could be a warm body next to mine instead of empty space. That's when I sigh and think of what could have been.