Welcome!
Authors note: I don't own the characters or anything mentioned in this fanfic, no matter how much I wish I did. This is my first Fanfic ever! Yay to me! Lol. I wanted to thank xXVoodooToyXx for inspiring me with her Vamfic, she has some really great and inspiring material! I hope you like it, there will be more Vamfic from me to come, but for now this will have to do. Thanks guys!
"Don't even think about it!" Ville warned Bam.
Bam turned his head back toward Ville, a mischievous grin passed over his face. He continued to take small, deliberate steps towards the juke box. Ville had always found it quite funny that Bam had a jukebox that only played HIM, it had always made Ville wonder a little bit too. I mean, of course HIM was Bam's favourite band, then again maybe Ville had too much false hope in thinking that Bam cared for him as more than a friend, maybe he was just looking too hard for "signs" to prove that it were true just because he wanted to believe that it was true.
Bam took the final steps that lead him to the jukebox.
"I will..." Bam grinned as he lifted his hand and placed it on the buttons.
"Don't you dare!" Ville laughed.
"Why?" Bam asked.
"Why not? I mean come on, why would I want to listen to myself? Just put something else on, Bam," Ville stood up from the couch with a slight sway; he and Bam had been drinking beer all evening.
"No," Bam replied stubbornly, "I think I want to listen to you sing."
"Well... I don't!" Ville protested.
"If I can't play any of the songs on the juke box, you're going to have to sing them for me. Either way, it's your choice," Bam replied smugly.
"Don't be silly!" Ville laughed.
"I'm not." Bam grinned.
Ville sighed. God, Bam was so stubborn sometimes. As bad as it sounded, Ville didn't mind that he was. In fact, Ville thought it was pretty hot. Bam knew how to be stubborn, and he knew how to get his own way. Ville knew this, and he would usually just give in to what Bam wanted to save time.
"And I suppose you're not going to let this go, are you?" Ville asked Bam, sounding slightly more serious. Ville wasn't really expecting that Bam would let it go.
"Damn right I'm not!" Bam laughed.
"Fine then, I might as well just do it now and save time later," Ville smiled at him. "What do you want me to sing?"
"Hmmm..." Bam glanced at the ceiling, pondering what he wanted to hear Ville sing. "'Beautiful'."
Ville looked surprised. "Why 'Beautiful'?"
Bam faltered for a second, almost choking on his words. Ville sat back down, slightly amused at Bam's reaction.
"I.. just because you never do it live... yeah..." Bam replied, glancing around the room to avoid eye contact with Ville.
"Since I'm singing, can you get more beers out of the fridge?" Ville grinned at him.
"Oh, so I'm your maid now?" Bam replied sharply.
"Only if you want to be, darling." Ville laughed as he lit a cigarette.
"Pft, whatever!" Bam snapped back at Ville as he made his way down to the Pirate Bar to get the beers.
Ville lied down on the sofa, slowly smoking his cigarette while he waited for Bam to return. He was could feel himself getting anxious. What the..? He was getting nervous? It was true, he used to get stage fright, but he wouldn't have thought that he'd get nervous when he was going to sing one song for a friend in the lounge room. It felt so strange; he was getting butterflies in his stomach. He glanced back over to Bam as he re-entered the room. Ville sat up when Bam handed him a beer. Bam placed the rest of the bottles on the table and sat down next to Ville. They both opened their beers and started drinking them - it was no secret that they both loved beer.
"Well?" Bam questioned as he looked around to Ville.
"Well what?" Ville replied, acting as if he'd forgotten about the conversation that took place a couple of minutes ago.
"Sing for me." Bam said with a gentle smile.
Ville sighed as he stared at his beer. He looked back over to Bam. Bam's face was calm and looked welcoming, it made him feel a bit more relaxed. There was something about Bam, something that not many people saw. When they were alone and away from the cameras Bam changed. It wasn't a bad thing, or even a really significant thing, Bam just seemed more... kind. It wasn't that he was unkind if cameras were around, but when they weren't it was like he was a lot more relaxed and open. Seeing Bam like this made him feel more relaxed as well, God he loved Bam when there were no cameras around. Just being in Bam's presence when he was like this was invigorating, it made Ville so happy to able to see Bam like this. Ville smiled slightly.
"I hope you know, Bam, that I'm only doing this because it is you...and you know how I hate singing without my guitar..." Ville's voice trailed off slightly.
"I know, just sing!" Bam laughed. Ville laughed as well.
Ville put his cigarette out in the ashtray. He cleared his throat, took a breath and began to sing.
"Just one look into your eyes..."
Ville made a point of not making direct eye contact with Bam as he sung. He felt slightly uncomfortable with the idea, because if he looked directly at Bam he'd probably find himself serenading Bam and making a fool of himself.
"One look and I'm crying..."
Ville glanced at Bam briefly...
"'Cause you're so beautiful..."
Ville took another breath.
"Just one kiss and I'm alive...One kiss and I'm ready to die..."
Ville looked at Bam again, longer this time.
"'Cause you're so beautiful yeah..."
Ville stopped singing and stared at the floor. He didn't want to look at Bam, he felt as if he'd already given away too much. As far as he knew Bam didn't know how he felt about him, and he couldn't let Bam know the truth. Bam was straight and married. Ville would just be fooling himself if he thought that he could ever change that.
"I...I'm sorry" Ville apologised, still staring at the floor.
"Why?" Bam was confused; he didn't understand why Ville was acting so strangely towards him.
"I.. just...minä rakastan sinua" Ville sighed, still refusing himself eye contact with Bam. One look into those beautiful blue eyes and he would cry.
"You know I don't understand Finnish," Bam laughed. His laugh was a small, forced laugh. He could tell something was wrong with Ville, but was half-heartedly trying to keep the mood light.
"I love you, Bam." Ville said quietly, turning his head back to Bam. He could feel his eyes welling up. Why did he have to look at those gorgeous blue eyes?
Bam sat there quietly, staring back at Ville. Ville could see that this wasn't going anywhere fast, so he stood up to leave the room as quickly as possible. He hated awkward situations, and this was by far the most awkward one he'd been in yet. He put his beer bottle on the table and started to walk away from the sofa.
"Ville..." Bam said quietly.
Ville slowly turned his head back towards Bam. Bam looked so sad, his eyes were practically begging for forgiveness.
"I..." Bam began to speak, but hesitated when he realised that he didn't really know what he wanted to say to Ville. That was a lie. He knew what he wanted to say; he wanted to tell Ville that he loved him too, that he thought Ville was perfect in every way and that he thinks about him all the time, but he couldn't tell Ville that. If anything Bam was scared - what would happen if he did act on his feelings? He wanted to take Ville into his arms and share an endless embrace, but he knew that he couldn't - he shouldn't. He was married to Missy, and as far as everyone knew he was happy with her, but he wasn't. Every single day that passed he found himself thinking about Ville. Oh God, how he craved Ville. It was like a hunger that he couldn't satisfy no matter how hard he tried. Ville reminded him of a traumatising memory: no matter how hard he tried to forget, he couldn't. He had tried to forget Ville every single day, but he couldn't.
Ville turned back around and continued to walk out of the room. How could he have been so stupid? Why did he do that? He knew that Bam didn't like him, so why did he put himself on the line like that? He should've just kept all of this to himself like he had been for the last few years. It was easier to pour his heart and soul into lyrics and break his heart every time he sung them rather than to actually try to accomplish something that didn't seem accomplishable. Bam was something - someone that seemed like they were not accomplishable. If Ville thought he could have gotten anywhere with Bam before now, he would have tried. It didn't seem possible, no matter how hard he looked at the situation and no matter how much he wanted it to be possible.
"Please don't walk away..." Bam quietly pleaded to Ville.
"I have to," Ville sighed and continued to walk solemnly out of the room.
Bam jumped up and ran after Ville. He grabbed Ville's arm to stop him from leaving. Ville slowly turned his head back to Bam. Bam looked into Ville's eyes, pleading for him to not leave. Bam released Ville's arm when he turned around to face Bam. Bam opened his mouth to speak but Ville pressed his fingers against Bam's lips, indicating to him to not speak.
I love your touch cold as ice
Bam watched as a tear fell from Ville's eye and streaked his cheek.
And I love every single tear you cry
Bam silently admired Ville. Even moments of absolute heartache Ville was still amazingly beautiful. Oh God, was he was beautiful.
Oh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Ville moved his hand from Bam's mouth and rested it on the side of his face. Bam basked in the moment as Ville's cold, white skin touched his. As cold and as empty as Ville's skin felt, he couldn't help but to be amazed; Ville's touch was absolutely breathtaking. Bam closed his eyes, praying that the moment wouldn't end. Ville watched Bam's reaction, trying to use it to calculate his next actions. He didn't want to make a wrong move or to take anything too far because every one of his actions could have dire consequences. Bam opened his eyes and smiled at Ville. Ville looked directly back at Bam, astonished at how beautiful this moment felt - at how beautiful Bam was. It was all so amazingly beautiful.
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
Ville started leaning slowly towards Bam, being deliberate in his movement so that Bam knew what he was doing. Bam didn't move or shy away from him when he put his hands on either side of Bam's face. He closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips against Bam's. Bam's lips felt like fire on his icy lips. He felt Bam wrap his arms around his slender waist.
So gone with the sin my darling
Their kiss deepened as Ville draped his arm around Bam's neck and ran his hand through his hair. Everything about this seemed so wrong, but somehow it was so perfect. Bam pulled Ville closer so that their bodies were touching. Bam broke the kiss and grinned at Ville. Ville knew what Bam was thinking, and God was it wicked. Ville hooked his finger under Bam's belt and lead him towards the couch. Ville grinned; a sinister look filled his green eyes.
You're gone with the sin my baby and beautiful you are
We're so gone with the sin, my darling.
Authors Note: The songs used were "Beautiful" and "Gone with the sin" by HIM. They are not mine and I do not own them.
Please review, it's my first Fanfic and I need to know what you thought!
Thank you!
