Disclaimer: I do not own any Final Fantasy storylines or characters. I wish I was getting paid for this, but I'm not.
He was shocked, dumbstruck even.
He dropped his bottle of sake, not noticing or caring as it shattered, the contents sloshing onto his boot. His glove slid off his hand, suddenly slick with sweat and somehow unable to cling to its master as it had during so many shocking events in the past. The left sleeve suspending his arm was hastily shoved to the side, allowing his ungloved hand to twitch closer to the startling creature in front of him. His whole body went rigid of its own accord, muscles contracting painfully tight as if trying to stop the rest of his body from acting as it wanted to.
He couldn't control anything his body did now. It moved on its own, no longer having anything to do with his brain. His muscles had given up trying to stop him from the appalling acts his body now committed of its own will, but they weren't about to stand by and watch either, they were a part of this now. No part of his body cared when the dark sunglasses sitting atop his nose slid down it, not ceasing their descent until they'd landed on the ground with a low cracking noise his brain interpreted as a bad sign. But as said before, his brain was on a permanent halt for the time being.
Something had stopped the cogs from turning in his head. It had been a simple attack. A mental and physical assault on him done with speed, precision, and grace. But he still couldn't stop it, and at this point didn't know if he wanted to. The attack continued, and his mind lost more and more of its control, though this time willingly. His mind no longer wished his body to stop the counterattack it had already set in motion. Even so, he was losing.
The logical part of his mind pulled with all its might to rein in its comrades, the brain, the body, even the heart. But all were lost, especially the heart. It had lost all will to fight. His mind, at this point, just wanted to retreat to try and figure out the enemies motives, and maybe plan a way around that near perfect defense… No! The logic center of his brain was restraining the latter strategy from reaching his limbs, pulling back on his ungloved hand.
His gloved hand was losing its strength, the tight grip it usually held over the hilt of his sword going slack all at once. The heavy blade fell from his shoulder, sobering his brain right quick. It immediately took over the body, the logic merging with it once again to reach out and catch- he missed. The sharp sword continued to fall, and suddenly the brain and logic were tossed out once again, the only thing controlling the body being heart. It blocked out the logics protests, and the brains shouts of pain. All the heart could worry about was right in front of it.
696969696969696969696969
From the rest of the groups view from across the fire, it had obviously been a sneak attack. Their youngest comrade had gone to ask the stern old man drinking sake before dinner if he wanted her to fix up his sword, or at least, that's what she'd told Yuna she was doing when she left her bowl.
Then the summoner's party had gasped as a whole, all but two(the perpetrator of this audacious act, and of course the silent Ronso, though his eyes did bulge a bit) of them making little squeaky noises as Rikku lunged forward at Auron, placing her small hands on his chest and leaning her weight against him as her head eloquently snaked up to his face. Her own head twisted to the side, then slammed itself against his, their lips cushioning her landing.
And it didn't stop there. No, the kiss continued, neither one of them coming up for air. Tidus couldn't help but snicker when Auron tensed, and Lulu was surprised to see him drop his precious sake bottle on the ground, forgotten in light of Rikku's attack. Yuna held a hand over her mouth as she watched her cousin successfully tackle then practically molest the Legendary Guardian who she just that day had seen slaying two chimeras by himself. Wakka's reaction was funniest to witness(it was just too bad no one witnessed it, because they were busy staring at Auron and Rikku). His face grew beet red, and he tried to look at anything but them, like a little kid who'd walked in on mommy and daddy during Happy Hour. Kimahri's grunt sounded like one of mild amusement, and he at least had the good grace to turn away, leaving the unlikely pair to themselves, unlike the rest of the group.
It continued to the point that Auron's hand unintentionally released his sword(Tidus suspected this was due to the fact that Rikku had just snuck a hand up his shirt) and it fell towards Rikku. Even if she had noticed the incredibly sharp weapon heading her way, there was no way she could have stopped it or dodged. Auron's eye jumped open to its fullest and everyone could see without his sunglasses on that there was fear in its russet depth. He threw his gloved hand out in an attempt to re-grab the hilt, but it was just a fraction of a centimeter too far, and he missed.
Absolute terror for the girl in front of him coursed through his veins. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want her hurt at all! He couldn't forgive anything that hurt the sweet creature pressed against his chest. He couldn't imagine what he'd feel like if she became a afraid of him. If that happened, he felt as if he'd just shrivel up and die all over again. All of this flashed through his brain like lightning, then it was gone, and his brain was no longer in control of his body. Logic screeched at him not to, and his brain cried out that it hurt, but Auron held onto the razor sharp edge of his sword anyway, holding it suspended over the small body.
Rikku looked up and flinched, just realizing how close she'd come to having split personalities. Auron had pulled his mouth away from hers only seconds before and she was still breathing as if she'd just swam from Bikanel to Besaid, but damn… did it look sexy or what to have the hotty you were just making out with grab a sword by its sharp blade to protect you(even if it was your fault he dropped it in the first place) from being cleaved in half? Rikku could tell you, it was. And Auron couldn't tell you, because he couldn't speak for the next hour, due to a certain Al Bhed gluing her face to his (not that he minded) and subtly trying to feel him up(still didn't really mind).
And Auron's heart couldn't find a good reason to stop her, his brain still being disconnected enough to not feel the pain of his sliced palm. Or maybe that was because she was kissing his hand with a mouthful of an Al Bhed potion. Whichever one it was, his hand definitely could wait. The rest of the party had retreated to bed, bored enough now by the unlikely pair that they could go to sleep. Besides, none of them really wanted to see their friends make it past second base and beyond.
And then Auron finally had enough-
"Silence!" Huh? Where did that come fro- "Be quiet you fool!"
"What?" Rikku asked, pulling back in confusion, she had no idea who Auron was talking to, and neither do I.
"The narrator. She won't stop talking. Yes, you! Leave. NOW!"
The narrator had no intention of staying after being yelled at like that, so she quickly closed down Word, making sure to save the document while Auron wasn't looking. Now we all know how Rikku finally got through to the thick skinned Auron, who had obviously been madly in love with Rikku for the whole game, but was too stupid and lame to do anything about it- A heavy, sword butt collided with the narrator's head, so she woozily finished the last sentence, running off crying before posting her report on the couple to .
"Lousy fanfiction writers…" Auron mumbled before getting back to more important matters.
The End, and they all lived happily ever-OUCH!
"Just get lost already!"
AN: Ahh, my bored attempt at humor at 1:00000 in the morning. I should really go to sleep. I hope you enjoyed, please tell me wether you think it was funny or not! Just use the little review button, it makes me happy! :D
