Author's Note: Lost is owned by ABC, not me. I go to a private university so I definitely can't afford it. Kate Austen worried.
She'd worried when Tom missed school in the fourth grade because of his bike accident.
She'd worried when her mother, overworked and browbeaten, went a few days without eating.
She'd worried when Sam left for Iraq.
She'd worried while she was on the run, checking, double-checking, sometimes triple checking her paper trail, changing cars in the middle of the night in desolate parking lots.
She worried the first time she'd left Aaron with the babysitter and his big blue eyes had followed her all the way out the door.
But none of these anxieties compare to the ones she experienced on the island. The ones she had about Jack.
When he'd barreled through the jungle looking for Claire.
Went days without sleep trying to save Boone and straighten out the Locke situation.
Sacrificed himself so that she and Sawyer could escape the Others.
Come to her bloodied, bruised and a little broken after Ben had ordered the shooters on the beach killed.
When he insisted on staying awake through his own damn surgery like a stubborn mule.
When blood stained his shirt darker than it had any business being.
She thought that getting off the island would be the end of her worries with Jack. But really, that had only been the start. His addiction coupled with their inevitable breakup, their infrequent meetings at the airport. The pain in his eyes grew with the beard on his face.
When the worry got to be too much, Kate gave up. She told him that she would go back with him. If only to see the end of his pain.
She rose back to consciousness, the sound of the nearby ocean almost lulling her back into sleep. But as she glanced around the crowded tent and took a head count, she noticed Jack's palette, by the tent's opening, conspicuously empty. A few weak rays of pre-dawn light slanted into the tent. Checking to see that Aaron was still snugly blanketed between Hurley and Sun, Kate slipped quietly out of the tent, careful not to startle Sayid as he dozed fitfully.
She surveyed the beach, so familiar and so foreign. In the light of the previous day, the group had found this strip of land deserted. Jack's face had darkened as they identified the tell-tale landmarks: the graveyard, the remnants of a church, a few fire pits closer to the tree line.
Jack wasn't on the beach as she expected him to be. Not sitting on the shoreline with his feet in the water, rubbing his now smooth face thoughtfully. Kate's heart picked up a few paces, panic setting in.
She quickly found Jack's trail. It led to the jungle, but showed no signs of a struggle. Allowing herself a breath of relief, she followed him into the tangle.
Three years ago, she'd known this jungle and all of its trails. Jack wasn't following any particular one. He seemed to be just picking his way through the woods. As she went deeper, less and less light lit her path. Trees menacingly pressed in on her from all sides.
Jack. Jack. Think of Jack.
In spite of her fear, Kate felt a bubble of anger growing in her chest. What did he think he was doing walking around in the jungle all alone? They had no idea who could be stalking around here, if they would even be recognized. He could have woken her up and asked her to tag along instead of making her worry.
Kate was starting to panic. She'd been on the move for five minutes, the beach now far behind. A large clearing appeared in front of her and she suddenly felt very vulnerable. Any number of eyes could be watching her from the shadows.
A twig snapped to her right. Kate swung that way agilely and reached for her weapon. Only it wasn't there. She'd forgotten her gun under her pillow.
"Kate?"
Jack stood under a large tree, his shoulders slumped forward, eyes turned up to her face. He was wearing a ratty t-shirt and blue jeans. Kate felt like she'd been transported back in time.
"Jack. What are you doing out here?"
He took a step forward, rubbing the back of his head.
"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I… I couldn't just sit there".
Kate inched closer to him, slightly cautious.
"You should have woken me up. We don't know who's out here, how things have changed..."
A look of pain swept across Jack's face. The old worry fired up in Kate. She wanted to hold him, to tell him that it would be alright and that everything would be sorted out but he took a step back as she took a step forward. The recent past had formed an impenetrable barrier between them.
"This is my fault Kate. We shouldn't have left. I was too hard-headed to listen to Ben and now they're gone and who the hell knows where they are. If they're alive." His voice was growing weaker but Kate knew that he was only beginning to vent.
"You were only looking out for us Jack. Like you always did. You did the right thing."
"No, I didn't!" He snapped. Kate sensed that he wasn't angry with her but at himself, for what he thought was selfishness.
"This… this is my fault. I wanted to find them, to set things right. But I'm too late. It's too late to help them. They're lost…"
He turned his back to her in earnest, hunched over and laced his fingers on top of his head. Kate couldn't help herself now. She crossed the distance between them in a second. Laying a hand gently on his upper back, she twisted him around to face her.
The eyes she met were so vulnerable, so soft that Kate felt her own misting. He looked like a little boy. She lifted a hand tenderly to grip the back of his neck and looked him straight in the eye.
"Listen to me. You're a good man. This wasn't your fault. But you'll be the one to fix it. Stop blaming yourself. When you blame yourself, you get into trouble."
He smiled painfully and gave a short laugh.
"It's funny that you would say that Kate. I hurt you so much…"
"Hey. We hurt each other. And right now you're scaring me. I was worried about you."
They stared at each other for a long minute, just watching the other breath. Kate clapped her hands quickly to her side and laughed lightly.
"We're in the middle of the jungle! The birds haven't even woken up yet. We should get back to camp before the others notice we're missing."
Jack nodded. Kate, still within his arms' reach, started to walk back to the beach.
"Kate," he said softly.
She turned to smile at him, recognizing that old tone in his voice. She'd gotten through to him at least for now. He surprised her by pulling her into his arms and burying his face in her hair. She pressed herself close to his chest. They'd only been on the island for a day and he already smelled of the sea and sand.
"Thank you for worrying about me," he murmured.
"No problem," she said and pulled away, squeezing his hand once. They walked side by side into the undergrowth. Birds began to chirp.
