Disclaimer: I do NOT own Scrubs, or any of its characters. I, however, DO own this particular story line and any characters that are a fictional work of my imagination.

Author's Note: Although I am not new to Fanfiction, I AM new to writing for Scrubs. It's always been my favorite show, but I never realized just how creative I could get with these characters and a made-up story line. This particular episode is meant to be an alternative Season 7 finale, as I was extremely disappointed with "My Princess" being the last episode. It is meant to take place well after "My Princess." However due to continuity problems, I've decided to keep the status of things pretty much the same as they were during the last episode, except for the fact that a lot of time has passed. It is going to having a two-part storyline, meaning I will have to stretch it between two different episodes, each episode containing two segments (chapters, if you will). Please bear with me and don't be harsh, as I am not a comical writer. I do this for fun, and to aid in the enjoyment of others. Anyway, I hope you like my episode. Please read & review!

xoxoxo,

.undoing.

PS. - The bolded font is meant to be JD's inner monologue speaking parts and the italicized font is supposed to indicate when he is daydreaming. I just wanted to clear that up ahead of time. =)

My Wake-Up Call

I woke up, feeling a very familiar and pleasant tingling surrounding my genital area. Could it have been the new satin boxer shorts Turk and I had recently purchased together? Possibly. But I still had the nagging sensation, in more places than one, that the person lying next to me had something to do with my morning euphoria.

J.D. gently reached over and brushed the lovely tendrils of yellow hair out of the sleeper's face, revealing the beautiful woman he had come to known and love over the past seven years at Sacred Heart Hospital.

Elliot Reid wasn't just a friend and colleague of mine. She had also been a past girlfriend, sex buddy, and mad crush I hadn't let go since the day I first laid eyes on her. Despite my previous uncertainties, I had always known deep down inside that she was my dream girl. Sure, we could hardly last as a couple, and had more fights than civil conversations – but I loved Elliot. And I hoped she felt the same way –

The sleeping woman's eyes flew open upon his touch and she sprang up from the mattress, quickly gathering the sheets to cover the bare body J.D. had already seen on multiple occasions.

"J.D., I HATE you!" She screeched, her pale skin growing bright red with fury. "How could you have let this happen, again?!"

"In my defense -," She cut him off.

"Enough, already!" She shouted, "I'm sick and tired of your lame excuses!"

"Excuses?"

"Urgh!" Elliot snatched up the nearest throw pillow and whipped it at him.

J.D. was struck across the face with such force, that he was sure she had heaved a bowling ball instead. "WHO HIT ME WITH THAT BUS?!" He sputtered, not knowing if the blood oozing from his mouth had been courtesy of Elliot Reid, or he had bit down on his tongue after the blow.

Elliot scampered around the room, eagerly collecting her clothes, leading her search with an angry chant of "Fricks."

J.D. gently massaged his temple, taking the opportunity to give her a few moments to cool off, before he dared to speak again.

As soon as she had reclaimed her things, she stopped in the middle of the room, blanket-clad, and planted a hand firmly on her hip. "Look – I'm sorry for blaming this whole ordeal on you. But can you really blame me? I was drunk off my ass last night, and you clearly took advantage of that!"

His stomach nearly hit the floor at those hateful words. J.D. clenched his jaw tightly, preparing for a serious verbal beating he was about to dish out. But, much to his dismay, the bitch interrupted him yet again.

"You know what, J.D? That's exactly your problem. And the main reason why you can't get find a willing girl to have sex with you," Elliot spat.

"WHAT problem, Elliot? You haven't let me speak!" He argued.

Elliot shook her head, and for the first time all morning, J.D. found the pretty blonde at an utter loss for words.

"FO' YO INFO'MATION," He began, trying desperately to imitate a pissy black woman, "We were both drunk off our asses last night! Get your story straight, Blondie!"

"Blondie?" Her confused expression said it all.

"What?! I was giving it a try - ."

Elliot shook her head, her blond hair flailing violently around her face. "Please, just stick to the point."

"Fine! The point is simple, Elliot. We are two adults that happen to be wildly attracted to each other - we got smashed and had hot sex. It's the circle of life!" J.D. explained.

"Circle of life?"

"Yeah. You know, you should watch the Discovery Channel more often."

"J.D – can you stop joking around for like three seconds? We've got a major problem on our hands, here, mainly because we've already agreed that our feelings for each other were over." Although she appeared calm and collected, I could tell she was about to pop.

"I love you," He blurted out.

At that point I knew I screwed – or about to be, for that matter.

Elliot's face instantly went from 'Oh man, am I gonna kick your ass!' to 'What the hell is this kid on?'

J.D. lifted his palm to my face and gave himself a much-deserved smack. He had let his stupid inner monologue take over, and had accidentally let one of his secret thoughts slip out.

"W-What did you just say?" Elliot demanded, her eyes narrowed at him for emphasis.

"Uh, I – BANANA HAMMOCK!" J.D.'s attempt at a diversion hadn't worked the first time he used it, and was even less successful the second time around.

"I think you just said you loved me," Elliot whispered.

J.D. hadn't exactly believed it himself, but now, hearing Elliot confirm his words, he was suddenly able to reassemble his feelings for this girl.

"Yeah – that may have slipped out," J.D. admitted.

Oh, here it comes. She's either gonna quit talking to you for a week and hook up with the next needy intern in order to cope with the guilt or she's gonna be perfectly okay with everything and is going to look into your eyes and say 'Frick me real hard.'

Elliot bit her bottom lip in an alluring manner and met his gaze. She let the sheet that had been shielding her nakedness slip to the floor and placed her palms firmly on his bare chest.

"Frick me real hard!" Came a loud squeal.

What the hell?

Elliot grinned, and pushed J.D. back onto the mattress. "Hey, naughty boy. That's my line!"

She instantly threw herself on top of him; J.D. knew exactly what was coming next.

Here we go again.

[I can't do this all on my own…I'm no superman].

As I wandered aimlessly through the halls of Sacred Heart, still only dressed in my boxers, I couldn't help but ponder the satisfying experience I had endured only hours earlier. Elliot, the one girl who had always been afraid of commitment, had made passionate love to me for hours on end, and all I'd had to do was tell her I loved her.

Man! Getting sex was no longer feeling like a tedious chore anymore, since I had uncovered the three magical words that could get a woman to do almost anything.

It was at that moment that J.D. noticed his best friend Turk strolling by, on his way to surgery.

"Hey, buddy. Will you try something for me?" J.D. asked.

"Sure!" Turk agreed.

J.D. quickly whispered in his ear the instructions, then stepped back to wait.

Turk crossed over to the nurse's station and leaned across the counter, in attempt to get his wife's attention.

Carla tossed aside a stack of files and immediately met his gaze.

"Baby, I love you," Turk declared in his most sincere voice.

She nearly scaled the counter trying to get into her husband's arms. Carla began kissing him all over, all the while letting out a satisfied squeal.

"I love you too! And be prepared for what's to come later on," She whispered, slyly.

Turk offered up a confused expression.

Carla instantly began bobbing around her husband, recreating one of Turk's famous dances. "My Superman's gettin' some lovin'! My Superman's gettin' some lovin'!" She chanted.

As much as I wanted to join in with Carla's song and dance, I knew that I had other matters to attend to.

J.D. gazed longingly at the happy couple.

Aw, what the hell? You only live once.

J.D. immediately jumped behind his friend and began singing along with Carla, as he air-humped Turk's rear.

Dr. Cox just so happened to be passing by, as this was occurring.

"Now, what do we have here?" The egotistical doctor began, "Is it some sort of standing bi-racial lap dance? No, it couldn't be – in order for it to be classified as a lap dance, two of the three participants would have to be at least moderately attractive. And my god, Carla, why would you EVER agree to take part in said lap dance with your husband AND his gender-confused buddy who seems to have forgotten to change into his street clothes before actually venturing out onto the street? If you ask me, the whole situation reminds me of Clay Aiken suddenly marrying a woman – it's just WRONG!"

Carla just rolled her eyes, ignoring Dr. Cox, and turned back to her husband. "I got Shirley to cover part of my shift this afternoon so we can take Izzy to the dermatologist," She said.

"NOOO! What's wrong with my Mocha Cub?!" J.D. cried out.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about, Bambi. Turk noticed a tiny rash on the baby's belly while changing her diaper last night. It's probably nothing serious, but it's important to it checked out just to make sure," Carla explained to him.

"I really hope you aren't planning on taking that child to Dr. Malcolm, the hospital's new dermatologist," A nearby nurse said, "word around the hospital is that he tried falsifying a patient's diagnosis to avoid having to prescribe the needed medication."

"Actually, we're taking her across town," Carla explained, "to a man named Dr. Buttons."

"That guy's even worse," Shirley warned them, "I heard a rumor that Buttons actually peels off his patients' skin and uses it to insulate his house."

J.D.'s mind suddenly wanders off, imagining this Dr. Buttons for who Shirley made him out to be.

A creepy old man wearing a bloody lab coat is standing before a waiting room full of patients.

"Next!" He calls harshly.

Back in his examination room, Dr. Buttons is prescribing acne treatment for a very pimply teenage girl, no sign of any skin breakage. Suddenly, his cell phone rings in his coat pocket.

"Hello? Oh, hi, dear. What?! You're telling me those termites ate right through the dry wall? That simply won't do!"

Dr. Buttons snaps his phone shut and proceeds to pick up an object resembling apple peeler. He hovers over his patient, wielding the tool with such eccentricity, that one would believe it were worth millions.

"On a second thought, Gracie – I have a more effective way to get rid of those blemishes for you. Hold still, now!"

"W-What are you doing?!" The nervous teen cries out.

Buttons ignores the girl and begins slowly peeling away layers of her skin with the utensils, while she screams in agony.

"Damn termites!" J.D. cried out, suddenly snapping back into reality.

As usual, everyone within earshot turned to look at him, utterly stupefied.

"T-They can eat through dry wall," J.D. said, trying to confirm his unexpected outburst.

Everyone just continued to stare, frozen in place.

J.D. threw his hands up in his defense. "All I'm saying, people, is you should better insulate your homes!"

Dr. Cox shakes his head, almost seeming to sympathize with everyone who had just heard J.D.'s mindless rant about termites and dry wall.

A passing new intern, who had never associated with J.D. before, whipped out his notebook and started jotting something down. "Note to self," He recited out loud, "never take advice from a doctor wearing satin underwear."

J.D. patted Turk on the back, before heading off, his main goal being to locate Elliot before she was swarmed with patients that needed attending to.

Even though it was my day off, I was really eager to confront Elliot about what had taken place that morning. Though it probably could have waited until after her shift, or at least until I was properly dressed – something weird was going on between us and I needed to know the truth before it was too late.

"Should have left your balls at home!" Todd shouted and smacked Colonel Doctor in the crotch, attempting to imitate the popular V-8 juice commercial with his own special twist.

J.D. noticed The Todd heading his way, and instantly shielded his crotch, remembering this new game he liked to play with his fellow colleagues.

The Todd stopped directly in front of J.D. and took one glance at his boxers, before shaking his head, disapprovingly. "I-think-you're-gay-five?"

J.D. just shrugged and returned Todd's high-five, knowing he probably deserved the pain that would follow.

He continued on, only needing to take four more steps before he noticed Elliot talking with Dr. Mickhead outside of the ICU.

"Hey, Elliot," He greeted her with a warm smile.

She met his gaze and held up a finger to signal that she was almost finished talking. Mickhead nodded and walked off, leaving Elliot free to speak with J.D.

She gazed down at his wardrobe choice and just let out a small laugh. "What's wrong – couldn't you find your clothes this morning?"

J.D. forced out a chuckle. "Actually, I'm not even working today. I just came here to talk to you for a minute."

Elliot sighed. "Well, I have a few patients to look after right now. But what do you say we chat over my lunch break?"

He shrugged. "Sounds good."

She laughed again, while staring at his crotch. "But would you please put on some clothes? I'm sure the rest of the hospital staff agrees with me – lavender just isn't your color."

To be continued…