Disclaimer: the Boosh is not mine. And I must admit I have shamelessly ripped this idea off from a mixture of Smallville and Buffy. But not entirely, some of the plot came from my ideas for when I tried to write a novel (which isn't going so well, so I'm going to use it for this instead.)
Dedicated to Violence4, because she came up with the same idea but said she wanted to see my version.
"Come on, little man, get a move on!"
Vince kicked the snow angrily with his new boots. "I don't see why we have to hurry. It's a nice day."
"You know why, Vince. If we don't collect the new Nabootique stock then Naboo'll turn his back on us."
"Oh come on, Howard, as if that matters!"
"How dare you, sir! I'll have you know last time he turned his back on me it burnt deep, yes sir!"
Vince muttered something which Howard couldn't hear and decided to ignore. He could tell from Vince's tone it wasn't going to be complimentary.
"Keep up Vince!" he snapped.
"Don't yell at me!"
"Stop acting like a bloody child then! Honestly, never mind people mistaking me for your dad, I actually feel like that sometimes!"
Vince let out a shaky breath. "I don't want you to act like my dad." he said, horrified.
"Well if you weren't always so childish that wouldn't happen." he sighed, not wanting to fight. "Look, I'm just tired little man, that's all. Let's go."
"No! I'm sick of you treating me like I'm retarded or something! I don't even see why I have to come, I'll see you later!" he turned and stormed off.
"Vince! Vince, wait!"
"Fuck off, Howard!"
"Come on Vince, this is exactly what I'm talking about." Howard grabbed his arm and Vince flinched. "Please don't act like this, you're causing a scene."
"You're the one causing the scene, I'm just trying to get leave." he jerked his arm out of Howard's grip. "Get off me!" he yelled, and turned and ran from Howard.
Into the road.
He never even saw the car that hit him. One minute he was running, the next he was lying on his back in the snow. He frowned, trying to work out why the world had turned upside down. Surely he didn't always see the sky when he looked straight ahead?
"Vince!" he saw Howard falling to his knees beside him. He tried to open his mouth to tell Howard he was ok, but it was like he was frozen. "Oh God, Vince, please tell me you're ok! I'm sorry little man, I'm so sorry, just please be ok." he turned to the group that had formed. "Somebody phone for an ambulance!"
"I've already done it, love." a female voice said soothingly. Howard nodded in thanks, then turned his attention back to Vince.
"I'm here, Vince. I'm here."
Vince suddenly noticed that the snow on the ground near his face was red. Wasn't snow normally white? Or at worst slushy brown. Vince didn't think he'd ever seen red snow before. Then it came to him; the snow wasn't red, that was blood! Was someone hurt? He tried to tell Howard, tried to make him look for the injured person. Why was he just sat next to Vince when someone was potentially bleeding to death?
Someone's hurt! He tried to make someone see. How come none of them had noticed the blood? Someone's hurt, someone's dying…
…and why are you all staring at me?
With almost superhuman effort, he forced his eyes to look down (for some reason he couldn't move his head), and saw his right leg bent and twisted into an angle he was sure it couldn't normally do…
Oh. It's me. I'm the one who's injured. Howard…
"Vince. Vince, please talk to me."
A new voice cut across Howard's. "Let me look at him. I'm a doctor."
Vince tried to focus on the man who now knelt down beside him, but he couldn't. he instinctively knew that he didn't want him there though.
"Can you hear me, Vince? Can you hear me?"
There was something almost mocking about his tone, although no-one else reacted. Could no-one else hear it?
"Vince?"
Suddenly, through his disturbingly comfortable haze, Vince felt a sharp pinch on his arm. His eyes darted to the source of the pain just in time to see the stranger stuff a needle back into his pocket. he's not a doctor! Vince realised in horror. Doctors didn't carry syringes around with them. He had to tell someone, had to let someone know what had just happened…
And suddenly pain exploded throughout Vince's entire body, wiping out every thought apart from one.
Howard…
He felt the blackness begin to claim him.
"Vince! Vince! Vince, no…"
"Vince?"
A voice. Not Howard's. Female. A paramedic maybe?
He kept his eyes closed, afraid to move in case he felt the pain burning through him.
"Hello, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" the voice said, and then carried on talking, not waiting for a response. "You'll be getting a visitor today! Howard's coming. That'll be nice, wont it?" Vince frowned in confusion, opening his eyes. She was fixing a drip stand whilst talking, not looking at him. "And I think your mum might be coming too. It'll be nice, last time she brought cake for the staff."
"Mum's coming?" Vince blurted out in shock. The last time he'd seen his mother he'd been 16, and she'd dissowned him for daring to defy her and go to work at the zoo instead of getting an education. She'd told him then she never wanted to see him again...so why was she coming here now? And she'd been here before to visit him...
The woman jumped sharply and stumbled backwards, staring at him. "Sorry! Vince can you hear me?"
"Of course I can hear you. Why wouldn't I be able to?"
"You just sit tight sweetheart, I need to page the doctor. Excuse me." she smiled and hurried out of the room. Vince sat up to try and see out of the door, and then noticed his leg looked perfectly fine. It wasn't in a cast.
Experimentally, he swivelled his foot around and flexed his toes.
Absolutely fine. No pain whatsoever.
My leg's healed. Mum's coming to see me…his breathing quickened in shock. How long have I been unconscious?!
"Vince?"
He looked round to see a short balding man with a clipboard smiling at him.
"Alright?"
"I think I should be the one to ask you that." he shone a small torch into Vince's eyes. "Is your vision ok?"
"Yeah."
"And can you tell me your name?"
"Vince. Vince Noir."
"And do you know where you are?"
Vince blinked, confused. "In hospital."
He grinned. "Very good, Vince. I'm Dr. Naboo." he noticed Vince smile. "What is it?"
"Sorry, it's nothing. I've got a friend called Naboo, that's all."
The smile on the doctor's face seemed to freeze. "A friend called Naboo?"
"Yeah."
"That would be the one who works in the Nabootique? The shaman."
"Yeah. Do you know him?"
The doctor breathed out slowly, then scribbled something on his clipboard. "This is unexpected." he muttered.
"What is?"
"This is incredible." he paused and looked up at Vince. "You're completely lucid."
"Of course I am. I'm not a simpleton."
"And yet…Vince, do you know what happened to you? Do you know why you're here?"
"I was in a car accident."
The doctor shook his head sadly. "No Vince. No, you weren't."
"Yeah I was. I was out getting stock with Howard and…"
"No, Vince. You weren't getting stock, because you don't work in a shop. You never have."
"But…"
"Vince, this is the Liberty Hope hospital. A mental institution. And you've been my patient here for the past 10 years."
Bit of a slow start, this isn't quite how I planned it, but I think it works. I literally have no idea how I'm going to end this though. We shall have to wait and see!
Also I have no idea if there is a real Liberty Hope hospital. As far as I know I've made it up lol
