Hello, and welcome to my annual I'm-not-dead-yet one-shot. I do not own Transformers in any way shape or form, and never will.

Optimus Prime. The great Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and the last of the primes. He lead his people from their ruined home planet, lead them across the stars. He has commanded and won great battles, and saved his people from many more. He was powerful and just, a mech revered by all who call themselves Autobots and feared by those under the banner of Decepticons. It was his sworn oath that he shall never be detoured from his strive for peace among the galaxies.

Yet here he was, being blocked on interstate highway 198, by a tiny four legged organic.

The creature simply sat there and stared. It's relatively large pink glossa hung out of it's extended snout as it panted to relieve itself of the midday summer heat. It's body was covered in short, shiny golden hairs, and it looked un-proportionate, with four sturdy legs and an oversized core composed primarily of fats. The creature had a strange appendage just above it's lubrication valve, that moved side to side in a sort of wag motion. The wagging part never stopped moving, but that was the only part of the organic that would.

Optimus had done a quick search on the world wide web, and discovered the creature was an animal humans called a 'dog'. 'Dogs' were popular pets humans liked to purchase, and a 'collar' was to be worn to signify ownership. Without a 'collar', it was assumed the animal was wild, and could be very dangerous to other organics. The 'dog' that was currently blocking Prime's alt mode had no 'collar', however it did not appear to be aggressive.

Optimus did not want to harm the peaceful animal, so he did a quick search on ways he might get it to move from his path. His first attempt consisted of honking his horn at it, as his alt form transport truck came with a very loud horn that was efficient at getting others to move. However, the 'dog' seemed unaffected by the loud noise and simply continued to sit there and stare at him with it's small dark organic optics.

It was vexing that the organic refused to budge, but Optimus Prime was a patient mech. He decided to try some verbal commands humans had developed for instructing these animals. Before anything, he checked to see if his actions might draw local suspicion, but he was stuck on a unpopulated section of the highway, and there was no traffic to be spoken of, so he was safe. He decided to start with the simplest commands applicable to what he wanted. "Shoo." Nothing. "Get." Still nothing. "Skidattle." Single word commands had no effect, so Prime moved it up. "Go home." Nothing. "Go away." Still nothing. "Go fetch." With no results Optimus wondered if the animal needed a visual to accompany the verbal commands. He downloaded a video of a 'dog trainer' from youtube and projected it for the animal to see. The 'dog trainer' preformed a number of different routines, stemming from verbal commands to whistle blow combinations, but still, after 20 minutes of video the 'dog' was still sitting in the middle of the road, wagging it's appendage called a 'tail'.

Prime was beginning to get frustrated with the creature. Audio and visual stimulants did nothing to move it, and he was going to be horribly late in returning to base. "Why will you not..." Then an idea struck him. Perhaps the creature was incapable of movement. The world wide web had informed him these creature were capable of transport motion, but it said the same for humans, and Prime had seen humans who could not move without the assistance of a wheeled chair. With this new information, Optimus drove in reverse with the intent to drive around the 'dog'. However, as soon as he had rolled 3 feet back, the animal stood up and walked forward so he was once again a comfortable 5 feet away from the semi's front bumper.

Optimus Prime could do nothing but stare in disbelief. The 'dog' was fully capable of movement, and was deliberately blocking his path. It briefly occurred to him that the animal could be in liege with the Decepticons, but it was not logical. His web source informed him the 'dog' was not a sentient organic, and was therefor incapable of the thought and communication process needed to make such an alliance.

Prime was was quite frustrated now. He really needed to get back to base. As a last ditch effort, he revved his engine and rushed at the creature. Either the 'dog' knew Prime would not hurt an innocent creature, or it was to stupid to realize the danger, because the slagging thing still just sat there! He even started liking Optimus Prime's bumper once he was close enough.

The mech could only stare in bewilderment. "What do I have to do to get you to move!"

And then, by an act of Primus, it did. The 'dog' lifted itself onto it's four sturdy legs and walked off the road. Completely stunned, Optimus sat there and watched it walk back along the side of the road, 'tail' wagging the whole way.

Optimus Prime silently continued his drive back to base, wondering how he was ever going to explain to his men that he'd been delayed by the strange little animal known as a 'dog'.

-Transformers-

Ironhide. The mighty Ironhide, legendary gunslinger and ever loyal Autobot. He had personally accompanied Optimus Prime across the stars as his teams weapons specialist. He had single-handedly taken down countless Decepticons, and his skills as a warrior are known throughout the galaxy. Just a few earth days ago, his leader had returned with the most absurd story of how he'd been stopped by a tiny, un-sentient four legged organic. Just a few earth days ago Ironhide had laughed his aft off at him for it, swearing he would never fall pray to such a creature.

Yet here he was, being blocked on interstate highway 198, by a tiny four legged organic.

Laughing to hard to give a proper A/N, sorry.

(highway 198 is not a real/not intentionally real. sorry to those who like to nit pick.)

read/review please