A/N This is just a little drabble taking place in PoA that I wrote monthsss ago. Just for fun! Hope you like.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
xoxo
Remus Lupin looked down at the map he had just received from Snape. The look on the other man's face had said it all, he knew that this was partly a younger Remus' doing and he was not pleased. Not that Snape had ever liked him any way, but the insults that no doubt had made themselves known definitely had added to the venom in his old school fellow's glare.
Lupin's eyes had travelled along the entire page searching, until he saw two names that shouldn't have been there. The first was the name that Harry had also seen: Peter Pettigrew. A name he thought he would never see again, a man he thought was long ago dead. He considered going straight after Peter, but then he saw the second name and all thoughts of finding his old friend died.
The next name was slightly less of a shock, what with all of the sightings and madness due to his recent break out. Sirius Black was also present. If Lupin had been any other professor he would have gone straight to Dumbledore, shown him the map and tell him where he was sure Sirius had gone off to. But he was Remus Lupin. He was not any other professor, so instead he pulled on a heavier cloak and cleared the map. It was time to confront his old ghost.
The path to the Whomping Willow tree was thankfully vacant, not a creature in sight, just how he would have preferred it. It would not sit well with most people to see him lurking about suspiciously. He hit the knob to freeze the tree and shivered at how natural it all felt; how routine.
The hallway to the Shrieking Shack was just how he remembered it, damp and unwelcoming. However, this time he wasn't on his way to become a flesh eating monster. Finally after what seemed like an entirely long time, Remus reached the room that he had so often torn himself and his friends apart in.
"If I had known you were coming, Remus, I would have tidied up a bit," a voice in the corner said. Remus turned to feast his eyes upon a semi-shirtless Sirius who was ragged, dirty, and gaunt compared to his old intense good looks. Though his face still was still familiar, he was still Sirius.
Remus allowed himself a small smile. "Yes well, if I remember correctly your version of tidy isn't much better than this." It felt too comfortable to be speaking lightly to Sirius, especially when there were bigger things to be spoken of. Yet, Remus found he was unwilling to change the subject just yet. "You look terrible."
Sirius barked a laugh, it was different than his old laugh, and it held more bitterness. However, underneath there was the tone that Remus had been so fond of. "Ever the flatterer you are. But enough with the small talk, you deserve an explanation."Remus shrugged one shoulder and cocked his head in an effort to gesture Sirius to continue. "Well, where to begin?" Sirius truly seemed to be at a loss of how to start his tale and after a few seconds Remus decided to help him out a little bit.
"Perhaps with what happed that night that they arrested you. Did you kill them?" Remus was quite at a loss for what happened that night, the story was so widely known that it had to be true, there seemed no alternative to what had happened. But on the other hand the map never lies.
"Of course I didn't kill them Remus, but I don't blame you for thinking I did." Sirius moved toward an old broken crate near the bed and took a seat. "Wormtail killed them, all of them, and before I even had the slightest chance to kill him like I intended he transformed into the rat that he is and escaped."
Remus nodded, this seemed like a sound account, but it did bring forth some new questions. "And why did you want to kill him?"
Sirius heaved a great sigh. "Because he betrayed James and Lily, although—I should take the blame for that." Remus was slightly confused but once again gestured for him to go on. "I thought making Peter their secret keeper was best. I asked them not to choose me, but to choose him." He sighed again, this one a tad shakier than the last. "I basically gave them to Voldemort."
Remus was slightly shocked. "Why—why did you think that he would be a better secret keeper than yourself?" There was another unvoiced question in his mind. Why didn't you suggest me?
"Because—because I had a weakness." The dark haired man stood up and began to pace. "I am so sorry Rem—I am so sorry. I thought it was you that was the traitor. I thought that you would ask me to tell you, and I could never say no to you."
Now it was Remus' turn to sigh. "I am sorry you thought that." He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice.
"You must understand, we were all suspicious of one another, and I just figured it would be safer if their location was furthest away from whom I thought the traitor was—I was sure I would have betrayed them if you had asked." Sirius seemed frantic and Remus noticed that the other man would not meet his eye.
"Then we are even." Remus began after a long pause. "I believed that you had betrayed them, and you thought I would."
Sirius stopped his pacing and looked up at the werewolf before him. "You are not disgusted with me?"
Remus shook his head "Of course not. I wish you would have talked to me about it, I wish I could have seen through the mask of the media and remembered who you really are."
Sensing it was safe, Sirius moved closer to where Remus was leaning against the wall. "Remus, you know who I really am. I am a Black, you were right to believe the stories. My family does not have the best reputation. I would have believed the stories as well."
Lupin turned so he was facing Sirius directly and he tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't say that. You are nothing like them and you know it. You may carry their name but you do not carry their insanity and their bigotry. You never have and you never will."
Sirius moved into the touch from Remus and with only a moment's hesitation the two were embracing tightly. Sirius was the first to pull away and he looked at the other. "Remus I—" He trailed off and averted his eyes. Remus could read the expression perfectly as he himself felt the same sense of uncertainty.
"Sirius, I want you to know my feelings for you have not changed. I will admit that I was angry with you and I believed the worst of you, but seeing you now and knowing the truth—I know that I still love you." Remus hoped that it wasn't the wrong thing to say, but he had to get it out in the open.
Sirius' mouth twitched up into a small smile. "I had hoped. I was sure you had moved on, but the one thing that kept me going in Azkaban was hoping that perhaps you would forgive me."
Remus grinned and nodded. "Of course."
Sirius then rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "We should stop standing here saying mushy things like a couple of birds and we should start snogging."
Remus allotted himself a glare. "Same old Sirius, always impatient, but I suppose you're right." Remus leaned in and pressed his lips against the other's, hesitantly at first and then hungrily as their teeth and tongues clashed together, each man trying to be dominant and neither one backing down.
They broke only for air and to pull off shirts and finally, as the fell into the bed, Sirius broke the contact for only a bit longer. "Do you want to keep going like this? Or shall we stop?"
It was Remus' turn to roll his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "You have not gotten laid in twelve years and you, the notorious Sirius Black, are asking me if we should stop? Maybe you have gone mad."
All Sirius could do was laugh and crash his lips onto Remus' once more.
