Trigger Warning: The prologue and first chapter especially will deal with depression, self-harm, and suicide.
The Doctor had travelled with many companions in years past. He needed someone to accompany him, after all—being the last of one's species tends to get just a tad bit lonely. Of course, all of those companions and friends and others he'd travelled with were adults, old enough to be on their own for the most part. Even little Amelia Pond hadn't travelled with him until she was much older than the day she met him; of course, that was more his mistake than anything else.
The Doctor honestly had never truly thought of taking someone along who still hadn't really experienced Earth yet; Amelia had happened so quickly he never thought about the complications that could arise. While he himself acted like a five year old often, he had seen all there was to see. And then, there was the obvious danger that seemed to follow him wherever he went. Of course, all of this was before he met Karina Lessing.
She was fourteen years old and she felt utterly trapped. And she was a huge surprise to the Doctor. He had unconsciously formed a sort of stereotype of teenagers, especially the human ones who hadn't even reached university yet: that they all only cared about themselves and that, honestly, they couldn't handle the huge secrets and responsibilities travelling with him entailed. Karina changed all of that.
The Doctor met Karina when she was walking home from school. She had looked completely depressed. The last time he had seen such an empty, sad look in someone's eyes was probably when he looked into the mirror fresh out of the Time War. That kind of look ages someone. Not realising how young she was, the Doctor crossed the street and asked her if she was alright.
Karina didn't even look him in the eyes, she simply held her head up a little higher and walked the tiniest bit faster. The Doctor sped up his pace to match hers, thinking there could be something he could do to help. They walked around five more metres before Karina suddenly stopped short. The Doctor walked right by her, then quickly backtracked, his cheeks flushing.
"Are you alright?" he inquired once again.
"I was until a creep in a lame bowtie decided to start stalking me," she said, irritated.
"Hey! Bowties are cool," the Doctor said, subconsciously adjusting his bowtie before he realised what she had said after insulting his accessory. "I am not stalking you!" he said, offended at the thought. "You looked sad and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"You saw a teenager walking home from school, registered that she seemed sad, and then decided, 'Hey, I'll just turn around and follow her to make sure she's alright!' because that seems a little suspicious," Karina told him before spinning on her heel and continuing to walk down the street.
The doctor looked down, realising that what he had been doing could have made him look the slightest bit suspicious. Wait…did she say…? "Wait!" he called, rushing to catch up to you. "You're still in school?" he asked in disbelief.
"Um, yes," she replied, speeding up the tiniest bit more. This guy was really starting to creep her out, but she got the impression that he was more crazy than a pedophile.
"You're at least in uni?" he questioned again.
"Nope," she replied, starting to get annoyed.
A wave of remorse washed over the Doctor. Poor girl, she had obviously been though a lot if she had that kind of utter hopelessness in her eyes… And he had made things even worse, following her like he had. "I'm so sorry! I'd better pop off, then! Wouldn't want your mum getting worried!" the Doctor said quickly. He ran off down the street and seemed to enter a strange blue box.
Karina stopped and stared in the direction he had run and muttered sarcastically, "Yeah, wouldn't want to worry mum." A few seconds later, she shook herself out of the silly trance she was in and kept walking right on home.
When she entered the empty house, she headed for the kitchen, instead of going straight up to her room like she normally did. A cuppa could do her good right around then, with the day she'd had.
First, she'd been drilled by two separate teachers on how she needed to be more focused on her studies, as if they should matter to her. At lunch, her best (and only) friend Mary had seen the scars on her wrists when she reached up to stretch and her sleeve fell down. She had called her a freak and dumped her as a friend. She didn't eat any of her lunch, not like she usually ate much.
And then the crazy man walking home. He had gone into some blue box. What was it? Who has a box? He couldn't have been too old, thirty-five at the most, she supposed. Of course, looks can be deceiving. And what was with all of those questions? Karina had thought she was pretty good at hiding her emotions, but apparently the man had been able to tell something was wrong even from across the street.
She shook her head and put the kettle on to boil. Her mother wouldn't be home until at least seven, and her stepfather hardly ever was home any time before nine. Her mother, ironically, considering Karina's current state, was a psychologist. Her stepfather supposedly had some top-secret position somewhere in the government. Karina was suspicious, while he did seem to make lots of money.
Once the tea was made, Karina headed up to her room, the only place in the whole universe that felt safe to her. You couldn't really blame her, considering the way her life was going. Her father had died before her birth, and sometimes she felt guilty, but she honestly had never felt sad about it. Her mother had married Peter when she was only seven, so he was as much of a father figure she had ever known.
Karina had never truly been happy with life, even when she was young. She had dealt with severe insomnia for as long as she could remember. No one understood her, and while most teenagers felt that way, Karina knew it was the truth. She could see all of the darkness in the world, and she knew for a fact that it outweighed the light.
She often wondered what the point of living at all was, if we were all going to die in the end anyways. She knew that if something had been different, if her father hadn't died, if her mother had been home more often, if she hadn't married Peter, anything, her views on life could've been totally different. But her life was the way it was, and there was nothing that could change it. She planned on going to uni in London, but she had the feeling that escaping the town wouldn't necessarily mean escaping the sad lifestyle she had adopted.
She knew she was depressed. That much was obvious. She had overheard her mum talking to Peter about other patients she had, and she knew the symptoms. No one noticed, however, so why should she tell? Nothing would change. Karina had honestly come very, very close to taking her own life, but she talked herself out of it by dreaming of the future. 4
She didn't know when or how, but Karina Lessing was NOT living her life trapped in a bubble of depression. She was getting out.
