A/N: First attempt posting a fic at this site, so I can test out the chapter structure. AU Kanji/Naoto + ensemble fic, much drama and angst, three chapters. Hope someone here enjoys it. T-rated for language.


[now]

By the time Kanji makes it inside the room, alone, one of her hands is already through the screen.

The words choke him, wedge tight in his throat, make him think he's forgotten how to breathe. "W-wait, Naoto, don't--"

She shakes her head. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

He should stop her, but his feet won't move. The screen crackles with static, giving off a strained, fuzzy light that casts strange shadows across the floor. Naoto looks back at him one more time - hollow, Kanji thinks, and it all makes so much sense - then turns and jumps inside the television.


[then]

Naoto shows up at school in September, just like that - unannounced and perfectly composed, the unflappable boy detective.

But there are a few things that just don't seem right; like how he stands alone in the corridor during breaks, how cold he is towards the girls who chase him, how he always seems to be thinking. Maybe he's lonely. And sure, Kanji's still crushing, and hard, but doesn't mean they can't be friends, provided he can get over all that stuttering and blushing crap.

It's a nice idea. A week later, he still hasn't psyched himself up enough to actually believe it.

But it's not like Naoto's ever going to come to him, and it's that knowledge that gives Kanji the burst of courage he needs. Early one morning, he finally manages to approach Naoto in the corridor and strike up a conversation - or something approaching it. "Hey. S'up?"

There's no response.

"Uh, Naoto?"

They're less than a meter apart, but Naoto just keeps looking at the wall. He doesn't react until Kanji walks directly in front of him, and all that earns is a quirked eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Uh...I was wonderin', do, do you want..." Kanji swallows, willing the heat away from his cheeks. "There's a bunch of us going to Aiya tonight. Few of the guys y'met at Junes. W-want to come?"

Naoto looks up at him, expression perfectly blank. "Will Seta be there?"

Kanji's heart sinks. It's always Souji. "I-I dunno. He's kinda busy lately."

There's a moment's pause before Naoto nods. His gaze drifts back to the wall. "I imagine so. Dojima-san never leaves the station."

"Yeah." Conversation's never come easy to Kanji and he's desperately trying to think of a way to keep this one going. "I, I feel bad for him though. That cop, Adachi. He was kind of an asshole, but he didn't deserve that."

Naoto says nothing.


[now]

It's three in the morning. Kanji can't sleep, knows he won't be able to - so he sits on the edge of his bed, turning over the pocketwatch in his hands.

It's nothing special; just cheap metal and tarnished with age. Two years after his old man died, he found it in a box in the attic. He was searching for some old sewing machine parts, maybe, he doesn't remember - and instead he found some dumb broken watch that made his Ma cry when she saw it. Later she told him it was his old man's, told Kanji he should take it, his father would've wanted that. Kanji was still pissed at the old man for up and dying, so he just left the watch on the dresser and forgot about it.

Late in November, Naoto saw it there and picked it up. Asked him how long it'd been stopped. Years, he told her. Wasn't gonna start again.

Time runs out for everything, she said. Kanji didn't understand; figured she was just being weird. She got like that sometimes, thought about things too hard. Then she asked if she could take it home, look at it for him. Perhaps she could repair it.

Sure, Kanji said. Wasn't like she'd be able to fix something dead as long as his father, but he didn't have any use for it.

Naoto just shrugged. Two days later, she brought back the watch, ticking steady in the palm of her hand.


[then]

After Kanji finds out he's a she, not much changes, other than him being majorly pissed off for a while. One hell of a shock at first, though - and Naoto's probably even angrier than him.

"I do not require your assistance," he - she - snaps, glaring at Yukiko and Rise - but she's staggering like her legs won't hold her up, so Kanji wraps his arm round her back and practically drags her out of Junes. Yukiko eventually gets out of her where she lives and they take her home. Big apartment block a good half-hour walk away. The whole trip there, Kanji feels like there's something he's supposed to say, like he saw something he shouldn't have, even moreso than with Rise - but her and Yukiko are talking to Naoto instead, telling her not to worry, she'll feel better in a while, and he doesn't have chance to speak.

"Do you have your keys, Naoto-kun?" Yukiko asks outside the front door.

Naoto insists again that it's fine, she doesn't need anyone's help, they need to go away and leave her alone. She's got one hand clutching Kanji's shoulder, head tilted towards the floor - but he still sees her wince when Rise tells her to stop being difficult and calls her Missy for the second time that night.


[now]

Kanji doesn't get why Souji's making them train, because it's not like they're going to need to fight. If they just go in and talk to Naoto, they can fix everything. But no matter how many times he explains this, Senpai just doesn't listen - and they're in the television for six days straight.

Nobody else wants to be there either. Chie doesn't hop about, Yosuke doesn't crack jokes and Rise doesn't flirt. The runs through the old worlds - under the strobe lights of the strip-club, over the block floors of the dungeon, through the steam of the bathhouse - all pass in silence.

Finally, a full week later and just when Kanji's on the verge of jumping in himself, Souji finally decides they're ready.

The fog's left Junes almost empty, and the team have the electronics department almost to themselves. In front of the television, nobody says or does much of anything beyond a few grim nods. Instead they just line up in front of the screen without a word - but as the others step through, one-by-one, Kanji pulls Souji aside.

"Naoto didn't have to tell us," he says, willing his senpai to listen just this once. "We wouldn't have guessed, not till she gave us those hints. She didn't have to."

For a long moment, Souji just stares at him. "We'll do what we need to," he finally says - and a cold, tight fist clenches inside Kanji's chest.


[then]

Naoto comes back to school soon after they rescue her, even joins the team, but she always looks tired. Kind of thin as well. Thinking about it, Kanji can't remember seeing any cooking equipment in the apartment kitchen when they took her home. The place looked like nobody lived there.

The thought nags at him for days. Eventually - partly because he's worried, partly because he's sick of thinking about it - he mans up and takes a box of shrimp and rice over to her apartment one Sunday morning.

Naoto refuses to open the door at first. Tells him she's just fine, he should go home. Kanji's a persistent guy, though, and he stands outside for almost half an hour before she finally takes the door off the latch and lets him in. Doesn't actually speak to him, of course; just sits back on the sofa, picks up her newspaper and reads it in silence. She doesn't even thank him for the food - though Kanji thinks he catches her once or twice, watching him over the top of the paper. Wishful thinking. Dumb old Tatsumi, crushing so hard he doesn't care that his would-be-boyfriend's a girlfriend or that she barely pays him any attention.

Then, one day - the fifth time he visits her - Naoto actually thanks him.

Kanji feels like he's smashed a hundred Shadows into space. Then she asks him why he keeps coming over and he chokes out something about the store being quiet lately. Luckily, Naoto takes him at his word. Every visit after that, they sit and talk together - and one time when he brings over a ton of late homework for English class he still hasn't finished, she even offers to help.

He knows he isn't the sharpest guy in the world, not like Souji, and the work takes way longer than it should. Naoto's patient, though. They sit together on the sofa, textbook on the table, and she talks him through every exercise he's missed. It's not that Kanji's ungrateful, and he honestly tries to pay attention - but all the stuff he really needs Naoto to explain has nothing to do with school. He wants to know why she pretended to be a guy, why she's cold to everyone, why she always looks so tired.

Instead he asks, "How'd you figure it out? That people who were on TV got kidnapped?"

She shrugs. "Following your disappearance and then Kujikawa's, the connection became obvious." The pages of the textbook rustle between her fingers. "And I'd already started watching the Midnight Channel. I was told about it when I arrived in Inaba."

"By the cops?"

Naoto pauses. "No. The attendant at the gas station."


[now]

Inside the television, there's nothing for the team to do but wait.

Rise's still upset, still not on form, so Teddie helps her scan with Himiko, or at least encourages her. All she needs is one trace of Naoto, one little hook to latch onto.

"Should be easier than last time." Yosuke's fidgeting with his knives and staring at the floor. "We didn't know her then."

Nobody points out the irony. Nobody says much of anything, really. Dead silence hangs heavy over the backlot, broken only by shuffling feet, the sound of Yosuke's knives scraping together and the slight hum of energy as Himiko scans.

Silence isn't a problem, though, not when Kanji's got nothing left to say. The way they're all not quite looking at him is much worse.

"Found her," Rise says quietly.


[then]

Maybe it pisses Naoto off - it's hard to tell what she's thinking - but Kanji tries to look after her, inside the television and out. Keeps taking her food, watches out for her when she's training, tries to hang around her during breaks without it looking creepy. Rise and Yosuke both tease him for it, say that big bad Kanji-kun's soft in the head, but there's no harm meant.

Naoto doesn't seem to notice all the little things, but she also doesn't push him away. They even spend time together on the days they aren't busting heads inside the TV, mostly because she's always wandering around the south end of the shopping district. Kanji figures it's fine to go down and see her, nothing meant by it, just two friends bumping into each other in town.

"Yeah, every single time she's there," Rise says with a smirk, when she catches him waving to Naoto at the bus stop and he tries out his excuse. In retrospect, it was a lousy one.

When Yosuke enters all the girls in the October pageant, Naoto refuses outright, even when Chie lays on the pressure. Kanji thinks he gets why. Admittedly, he spends most of the contest wishing she hadn't, but there's no chance she'd have stayed for Teddie's section anyway. Thing is, she could have won. The girls still chase her, no matter how cold she acts. Maybe they like the image - the dark and brooding 'Detective Prince' - but Kanji just wants to see her smile for once.

Later that night, when Yukiko invites them to the hot springs, Naoto refuses again. She has to work, she says, and Kanji knows it's a lie. The cops threw her off the case two months ago, and from what he can tell she hasn't been back to the police station since. So he tries to talk her into joining in - it'd be good for her, team outing and all - but the edge in her voice and the way her jaw tightens tells him to let it slide.

"Should've gone," he says to her a week later, during lunch on the school roof. "Not the contest, the springs. It was fun." Except for the whole buckets at the head part, but at least the girls had apologized later.

Naoto shakes her head. "There are more important things to think about. Time is short."

The case. Man, she's always harping on it. "S'okay to have fun though, right?"

"I don't see the fun in bathing with girls," she mutters.

Her expression doesn't shift, but something in her answer still bothers him. Kanji makes the first dumb joke he can think up - some line about Teddie fainting if he ever heard her say that - and when Naoto manages a half-smile, the tension broken, he can't help grinning back.


[now]

When Rise leads the team through the portal, Kanji's expecting to end up at the lab again. Except there's no green glow, no metal floors - just a dimly lit room lined floor to ceiling with shelves of leather-bound books. The air smells of dust and old ink, and a mahogany desk stands along the far wall, each leg carved with ornate patterns.

"You took your time."

The team turn as one towards the voice. Naoto's leaning against a bookshelf - arms folded and face impassive, her eyes glowing dull amber in the dim shadows by the portal.

"Naoto." Souji's voice is like granite, and Kanji thinks of Namatame. "We just want to talk."

"I doubt that."

"The hell's with this place?" Kanji snaps. In truth, he couldn't care less if they were at a damn circus, but he's desperate to keep Naoto talking. Just like always.

Naoto walks over to the desk, then pushes herself up on her arms to perch on top. "I've mentioned before that I used to read detective novels. This is where. Or at least it's a convincing replica. Certain details are inaccurate, but..." She trails off, gaze fixed on the grandfather clock standing against the opposite wall.

Chie makes a step forward, though Yukiko grabs her arm before she can take a second. "Naoto-kun...this isn't right."

"Please don't call me that. Naoto, if you must, or Shirogane."

"Come on, Naoto," Yukiko says. Kanji can hear her forcing herself to drop the '-kun'. "What would your grandfather think of this?"

"Nothing good, I'm sure... but that's to be expected. His grandchild is a poor excuse for a detective." Naoto kicks her heels back against the table, one for every loud tick of the clock. "Wrong gender, wrong age, all wrong. I came to Inaba to solve a simple case, but I failed to accomplish even that." She sighs, though it's more a quiet breath of air. "Quite the opposite."

"You can still stop this," Souji tells her, expression just as blank as Naoto's and equally as wrong.

She shakes her head. "No. I can't. Which is precisely why you are here."

There's something wedged in his throat. Kanji tries to swallow past it but his tongue feels thick and dry. "No way, Naoto, we're not gonna--"

"You must. Or I will stop you." Naoto finally looks toward him; stares down with those cold, yellow, inhuman eyes. "This needs to end, one way or the other."

"But... Naoto, c'mon! We..." He swallows again, harder this time, but the tangle's still there. "...We were friends, right?"

Naoto shrugs. "I don't know. And it no longer matters."

Everything he had left to say - all the stuff he's been thinking about for days, spinning around inside his head - becomes pointless. Kanji chokes down the bile in his throat and darts forward instead; ignores Souji's order to stop; reaches out his hand to grab Naoto by the shoulder. His fingers pass straight through.


[then]

At first Kanji's embarrassed when Naoto catches him down by the river. He's told her he makes dolls, even shown her a couple, but he's never mentioned giving them away for free just because he felt bad for some dumb kid. Still, far better her than Yosuke. Better Naoto than anyone, come to think of it.

"Your mother told me you were here," she says, stealing a curious glance at the bag in his hands.

"Y-yeah. She likes you. Says you're a good influence."

"Ah. She's...very kind." Naoto looks away - but curiosity wins out, and her gaze soon moves back to the bag. "What's inside?"

Kanji winces. "Uh. T-toys. There...there's a kid gonna meet me here. Made some dolls for him."

"He is paying you?" she asks, one eyebrow quirked.

"No way!" he snaps, then catches himself. "Sorry. I, I wouldn't make a kid pay, c'mon." He shrugs. "Dummy lost a friend's doll in the river. So... I made new ones."

Naoto stares at him. "Why would you give your work away for free?"

Kanji blinks. "Uh... well, I felt bad for him, y'know? Just a kid." Naoto just keeps staring at him, and his hands tighten around the bag. "Didn't mean no harm."

"But it was his mistake!" The glare Naoto shoots him could freeze lava. "You are encouraging his idiocy."

"Naoto, he's a kid. Kids do dumb stuff!"

She opens her mouth to speak - just as the boy comes running along the bank, waving at Kanji most of the way. Kanji waves back. At the edge of his vision, Naoto moves away towards the steps.

The exchange is pretty brief - mostly the kid saying thank you, because Kanji isn't all that good at talking - but they're both happy and the boy even says that his friends want to buy dolls too, Mister Tatsumi should sell them in his shop. Kanji grins and points out it isn't really his shop, but he'll see what he can do.

After the kid leaves, Naoto walks back over. "That was good of you," she murmurs.

Kanji just rubs the back of his neck, trying to keep the heat from rising to his cheeks.

"I apologize for my words earlier," she continues. "I...I'm just tired."

"Yeah. Y'look it." And she does; pale skin and dark circles under her eyes, even though she tries to hide them with the brim of her cap. "Always do. What's up?"

She hesitates, quickly glances at him, then looks away. "Nothing. I simply dream a lot."

"S'always been like that?" Kanji asks, brow furrowed.

Naoto shakes her head. "Only since the summer."


[now]

Kanji's supposed to have a handle on his temper by now - and he's ashamed at how long it takes Rise and Yukiko to calm him down. But hell, the whole team's jittery, especially since they don't know how to leave the room. They can go back the way they came, but other than that they've hit a dead end.

Yosuke stares at the wall, eyes narrowed. "Guys, I've seen this stuff in movies. There's always a secret passage in the old mansion, right? Naoto probably goes for that sort of thing."

Chie nods and agrees. "Yeah, we have to pull a book or something. C'mon!"

Each of the team moves along the shelves, tugging at leather spines. Half-an-hour later, they've made their way round most of the room - but nothing's moved. Kanji curses out loud for the third time, Yosuke's been muttering under his breath for the past five minutes - and Yukiko lets out a frustrated sigh, which turns into a yelp as the wall-lamp she leans on clicks and moves down under her weight. As a hollow rumble of wood scraping against metal echoes through the room, the shelf next to the clock pulls back from the wall to open up a path.

Green light spills through the opening - and Yukiko blinks in surprise. "Oh. I--oh."

Chie slaps her on the back and forces a smile. "Good job, Yukiko!"

When they walk through the gap in the wall, they're back in the lab. The wood and ink of the study gives way to metal panels, red flags hanging on the walls and the grinding sound of machinery deep below their feet. But something's different; as they walk down the corridor, some sections of the wall have vanished into fog, and others are stark black and white. They pass by rooms that Kanji's sure used to be full of junk - computers, levers, monitors - but now hold only empty space.

"There's something wrong." Rise's voice is strained. "This isn't like last time. It's falling apart."

They walk further. Steel tables start showing up inside the rooms, like the one in the laboratory where they fought Naoto's Shadow. Yukiko and Rise gasp at the first one - the faceless corpse on top, slashed and splayed open from groin to throat with drill holes puncturing its limbs - but by the fourth everyone just tries not to look. Though the bodies scare the shit out of him, what bothers Kanji far more is the way this world's changing. It looks half-formed. Further inside, what's left of the walls and floor turns from textured metal to stark black and white outlines. Soon they're just walking through abstract shapes, binary polygons in place of doors and railings.

The bodies he can understand. He remembers Naoto's Shadow; drills and scalpels and 'procedures', desperate to fix something she never could. The empty space is different.

"We're getting closer," Rise tells them, as her fingers curl tight round the hem of her shirt.


[then]

Kanji knows Namatame's a sick bastard - he has to be, to have killed Naoki's sis and that TV announcer - but kidnapping little kids is a whole other level. Worse yet, kidnapping Souji's cousin. Nanako's hung out with them before; Kanji remembers buying her soda at the food court. She's crazy about Rise and he swears Chie and Yosuke squabble twice as much when she's around just because it makes her laugh. And Naoto, who never really seemed to know what to do around Nanako, is the one who's most rattled now she's back. Has been ever since they caught Namatame on the stairs in Heaven. Back in the hospital corridor Kanji had to practically yell at her to get her shit together - because if he hadn't known better, he'd have sworn she was--

...No way. Naoto doesn't do that.

But Kanji still can't help feeling bad, even though he knows he was right. The others are all drifting home in twos and three and none of them can tell him where she is. In the end he finds Rise, who always seems to know what everyone else is doing, and she says she saw Naoto take off towards the rear doors of the hospital.

Finding his way through the empty white corridors doesn't take long. Kanji braces himself against the cold burst of night air as he walks through the glass doors - and instantly spots Naoto outside, leaning against the rough concrete wall of the building and staring out over the parking lot.

"Sorry," he tells her.

Naoto doesn't answer.

"You, you were just blaming yourself. Self-pity ain't helping anyone."

"You don't get it," she snaps. "You...you were right, but...you don't understand." Her voice cracks on the last few syllables and she squeezes her eyes shut.

"I do, okay? I'm worried 'bout her too."

"No, you don't, you can't and you won't be able to. I, I had to, I...it was my--"

And now he thinks she really is going to cry and that isn't Naoto at all, even with everything that's happened. Kanji pulls her towards him instead, hands clamped firmly on her shoulders, and dips his head towards her before he has chance to think.

It's his first kiss, maybe hers too, and it's brief and clumsy - their teeth knock together on his first try, and the second's only a little smoother - but that's fine, because after months and months of being afraid, he's finally done it. And after just a moment's pause, Naoto kisses him back.

When he breaks it off her hands are clutching his shirt and her cheeks are flushed red. He thinks maybe she'll push him away, but she doesn't move. "You--"

"I..I just w-wanted to do that," Kanji blurts out. "Y'know, if-if it was okay." Shit, he probably should've asked first.

But Naoto doesn't cuss him out. Just presses her head against his chest and mutters something about not wanting him to get hurt. Kanji grins and tangles his fingers in her hair; the only part that could've hurt is over.