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Ways To Annoy, Confuse, Harass or Generally Scare Harry Potter
1. Follow him everywhere.
2. Constantly remind him that Neville should have been the Chosen One.
3. Write and choreograph a play about the worst points in his life...
4. ...insist he sits through it.
5. Tell him that there was a mistake at the hospital and that Voldemort is his real father.
6. Offer him make-up to cover up the scar.
7. Write him love letters from Moaning Myrtle.
8. Rose-tint his glasses.
9. Put itching powder in all of his clothes.
10. Ask him if the thestrals have pretty eyes.
11. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.
12. Get the Mysterious Ticking Noise stuck in his head.
13. Refuse to help him get it out again.
14. Get him lots of jewellery and act offended if he doesn't wear it all the time.
15. Buy him a niffler for Christmas.
16. Tell him that Voldemort just needs a really big hug.
17. Draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
18. Write parodies of songs saying how much better Ron is than him.
19. Pay one of the first-years to play dress-up with him...
20. ...all day.
21. During the next Slytherin v Gryffindor quidditch match, jinx the snitch to fly away from him.
22. If you're really clever, jinx the snitch to fly right into Draco's hand.
23. Turn Hedwig into a toad.
24. Put cat hair Polyjuice potion in his drink.
25. When he challenges you about it, insist you were only trying to turn him into an Animagi.
26. Tell him that you think that Snape and Lily would have made a cute couple.
27. Cough insults as you walk passed him.
28. Replace all of his writing equipment with those from Delores Umbrage's pencil case.
29. Ask him why, if he's a wizard, he needs to wear glasses.
30. Drive him everywhere in a Ford Anglia.
31. If you get stuck in traffic jam, ask him to make it fly over the traffic.
32. During the night, move everything in his room around. Continue until the nice men come to take him away.
33. Make it appear as if Dudley is developing magical powers.
34. Imitate him.
35. Hum the Harry Potter theme tune whenever he enters the room.
36. Reincarnate the basilisk.
37. Give him singing golden eggs for Easter.
38. Put up posters with him Photoshopped in a white jumpsuit, with the message: "Harry Potter is the Stig".
39. Ask what happened to his mouth in the Goblet of Fire.
40. Ask him how Cedric is.
41. Date Draco (you know you want to).
42. Take pictures of him and Photoshop them.
43. Make him watch.
44. Panda to Ron's every need.
45. Ignore him.
46. Convince him that he needs to go somewhere where there's cheese.
47. Sectumsempra him.
48. While he's still recovering, shout: "Now you know how Draco felt!"
49. Refuse to let him through a door without him telling you his favourite colour.
50. Put Crookshanks on your head and pretend to be Ginny.
51. Ask him why Ron got rid of Scabbers.
52. Arrive to school on a hippogriff.
53. Swap his Floo Power with gun powder.
54. Lock him in the girl's dormitory...
55. ...while they're all in there.
56. Invite Gilderoy Lockheart to his house.
57. Speak to him in French.
58. When he doesn't understand, say, "Well you didn't have a problem with Fleur!"
59. Learn Parseltongue.
60. Turn him into a ferret.
61. Make a cloud follow him everywhere, raining on him all the time.
62. Talk only in Mermish to him.
63. Tell him you love Dementors.
64. If he asks where you're going, reply "Diagonally".
65. Knit him an extra large jumper for Christmas - with the label on both sides - and present to both him and Ron. Tell them you didn't have enough money to buy them one each, so they have to share this one.
66. If they try to put it on, laugh.
67. In the middle of a conversation, run off clutching your left arm and muttering something about how you have to see the Dark Lord.
68. Hide his glasses.
69. Swap his timetable with Hermione's.
70. At Hallowe'en, curse the bats to follow him everywhere.
71. Suggest Quirrel be made the new Head of Gryffindor.
72. Ask him why Cho is crying.
73. Call him Hawwy.
74. Dye his hair blond.
75. Tell him you know these great books by J.K. Rowling...
76. Write him a three-hour lecture explaining why he will never be half the wizard that Draco is.
77. Make him sit through it.
78. Twist his words.
79. Ask him for signed photos - constantly.
80. "Hermione told Ron to tell Ginny to tell Fred to tell George to tell Alicia to tell Cho to tell Luna to tell Neville to tell Professor Sprout to tell Professor McGonagall to tell Dumbledore..."
81. "...to tell Snape to tell Draco to tell Crabbe to tell Goyle to tell Pansy Parkinson to tell Moaning Myrtle to tell Nearly-Headless Nick to tell me to tell you that... um... actually, I can't remember."
82. Offer him free hugs.
83. Whenever a picture is being taken of him, give him the Bunny ears. When the picture is taken, Disapparate.
84. Make him eat Toxic Waste.
85. Ask him to trade Chocolate Frog Cards.
86. Steal his dream journal.
87. Give him a bowl cut.
88. Pretend to be cooler than him.
89. Fake tragic futures when reading his tea-leaves.
90. Pay Sir Cadogan to follow him everywhere.
91. Change the password to the Gryffindor common room.
92. Refuse to tell him what you changed it to.
93. Whenever he gets an idea, make a light appear above his head.
94. Criticize everything he does - especially when he's doing it right.
95. Create Snape's Army.
96. Tell him that Dobby said that he's lonely and really needs a hug from him.
97. Make sure he repeats this action every day.
98. Point at his scar and whisper to the nearest person, "Is that Harry Potter?"
99. Ask to see the pygmy puff tattoo on his chest.
100. Teach him how to Death Growl.
101. Tell him Kreacher loves him.
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Ways To Annoy ,Harass or generally scare Lord Voldemort
1 Constantly laugh at him
2 Imperius his Death Eaters To sing "All Things Bright And Beautiful"
3 During Death Eater meetings smile at him and say you taught him everything he knows
4 If you ever need to use the saying "Like taking candy from a baby"say "But some of us might find it harder than others stare pointedly at him
5 Call him "Baldy-Voldie"
6 Paint the Death Eater masks pink/
7 Ask him if he ever takes a shower
8 Throw him a care bears themed birthday party
9 Hide his wand-blame it on Lucious
10 Write him love notes,sign them Love Bellatrix
11 Tell him Harry is a better wizard
12 Call him "Tommy Boy"
13 Ask him what happened to his nose.
14 Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again
15 Taunt him about his middle name "Marvolo what is that a washing detergent
10 Ways to Annoy,Confuse or scare Bella Swan\Cullen
1 Laugh loudly everytime she falls, whenever she walks past accidently trip her
2 Go to Bella's house when she's sleeping at night and find Edward there he's sure to be around somewhere then yell at the top of your lungs "HI EDWARD WATCHING BELLA SLEEP AGAIN?OKAY YOU HAVE FUN WITH THAT!"
3 When she and Charlie are not at home steal all the food out of the refrigerator,hide it under her bed and say Edward ate it.
4 When Bella has her "Secret Meetings" with Edward at night shout as loud as possible(Be sure Charlie can hear you) "HEY EDWARD WHAT YOU DOING HERE SO LATE AT NIGHT?"
5 Put a Dracula doll on Bella's shoulder make it say" I love you Bella. "in a high pitched voice. When she finally snaps say "You hurt Edwards' feelings!" then make the doll cry in a whiney voice, demand she apologise when she does make the doll slap her.
6 Ask her if she is "Madam Trips A Lot?"
7 Hit her in the head whenever she says Edward
8 Re decorate her room with pictures of Mike Newton
9 When Edward comes through Bella's window (Be sure Charlie can hear) scream "AAAH! A STALKER CHARLIE!"
10 On her birthday follow her around and say "Make way for the birthday girl!"
15 Ways To Annoy, Confuse or Scare Edward Cullen
1 Tell him Cedric Diggory and Robert Pattinson are hotter than him
2 Walk behind him thinking of a dead Bella
3 Think of Renesmee watching South Park
4 Walk up to him and start tripping like a crazy he asks what you doing innocently reply "Imitating Bella."
5 Buy him a Mcdonalds offended when he says he doesn't eat
6 Put Team Jacob pictures in his room
7 Tell him Jane has the hots for him when he tries to object.
8 When Bella comes to his defense tell her to shut up she's just jealous
9 Call him Eddy,all the time
10 Tie Bella to some railroad tracks when he gets mad say "A little overprotective aren't would have allowed that one."
11 Take Bella shopping "accidently" leave her at the mall.
12 Whenever Edward complainsor groans about anything reply with "What are you gonna do Edward?Go to Italy?"
13 Tell him Bella is seeing Mike Newton
14 Shout "EDWARD!" in your mind when he asks you why you shouting clutch your head and yell "MIND RAPIST!"
20 Ways To Annoy,Confuse Or Scare The Cullens
1 Lock Rosalie alone in a room with Jacob,
2 Take all of Alice's dresses
3 Hold All of Alice's credit cards above your head make her jump for it.
4 Ask Edward to be a gangster with you on Halloween
5 Put a sign on Edward's door saying "This is a no trip zone!"
6 Buy Jasper a cat- Name it Maria
7 Buy Edward a dog – Name it Jacob
8 Buy Rosalie a Rolls Royce for Christmas
9 Tell everyone at school Alice is anorexic
10 Steal Emmett's Jeep
11 Phone The Discovery Channel tell them you've found "Nessie"
12 Spray Edwards' car pink
13 Pronounce Carlisle's name without the silent s. Do it even if he corrects you.
14 When Carlisle annoys you tell him" Times have changed old man
15 Ask Carlisle what type of superhuman power compassion is he going to do in a fight love the enemy to death?
16 Tell Alice if she were a few centimetres shorter she would legally be a midget.
17 Take a chunk of Esme's hair put it in the blender with it to her claiming it is a "Caramel Milkshake"
18 Whenever Jasper says something snap to attention and say "Sir Yes Sir." Then it Army Style
19 Whenever Edward complains or Groans about something reply by saying "What you gonna do Edward go to Italy?
20 Instead of speaking to Jacob. Bark.
15 Ways To Annoy,Confuse or Scare Hermione Granger
1 Call her a beaver then smile innocently
2 Tell her the library burnt down
3 Call her "Little Miss Know It All"
4 Take her food and tell her that she is fat enough already.
5 Call her "Her-Hiney"
6 Show her the difference between cat and human hair,Then tell her she should remember that the next time she uses Polyjuice Potion,so she doesn't turn into a cat.
7 Repeat "It's leviosa"
8 Tell her she's fugly
9 Ask which side of her family is goblin.
10 Steal a piece of her 5,250 piece puzzle of Gilderoy Lockhart
11 Tell her she smells-Like a mudblood
12 Tell her she's Voldemort's last Horcrux
13 Mimic her every move.
14 Tell her the smarter you are, the quicker you die
15 Ask her why on eartb is she taking Muggle Studies?.
15 Ways to Annoy,Confuse or Scare The Volturi
1 Tell Caius to cut his hair so that he doesn't look so gay.
2 Go around Volterra screaming "Heidi has an Immortal child!"
3 Spell and pronounce Aro's name ARROW
4 Stare at Jane. when she asks why you staring say,"Pretending to be you when you try to use you gift on Bella."
5 When Aro reads your mind pull away and shout "MIND RAPIST!"
6 When you see Jane loudly start singing "I'm a Barbie Girl."
7 Whisper to Caius "I know what you did to Didyme," then walk away refusing to explain further.
8 Whenever Felix walks past shout "Look a mountain!" Then try to climb him.
9 Stare at Caius,when he asks you what's wrong say "Is your hair really that colour or did you use L'oreal?
10 On St Marcus day, follow Marcus around like a crazed Fan Girl.
11 Tell Jane that Barbie wants her hair back.
12 Get them all Team Edward shirts for Christmas
13 Tell Alec you have a toothache and ask him if he can fix it for you.
14 Tell Jane that her painful power fits her looks very nicely
15 Wear a frilly pink dress and an ugly blonde wig all day then tell everyone "This is my impression of Barbie-no I meant Jane No Barbie I can't tell them apart!"
