ONCE UPON A TIME…
It was clear to me that I was standing in one spot—so it must have been the room that was spinning. I was in the principal's office standing face to face with a woman who, with very few words, wanted to shake up my whole world.
Her cheerful smile lit up the room. Soon, her expression turned serious and, looking me straight in the eyes, she proclaimed with sincerity, "Penny, I think you need a sense of family."
My mind began racing as she continued, "I would like you to be a part of my family. I want to adopt you."
My first response to these shocking words was, to some extent, to feel irate.
Family! I thought to myself, I don't need a family. I have friends, I have the best friends ever.
I stood silently in the office, unaware of the people around me awaiting a response. A thousand-and-one thoughts raced through my head and I wanted to shout—I wanted to scream. But I couldn't get anything out. I was silent.
The mere idea of speaking may have exposed my vulnerability. I looked up and met her gentle eyes, only to quickly look away. I was so full of questions and fear, I could concentrate on very little. She spoke again, this time in a softer voice.
"I know it's a lot to think about," she began, "so I will leave it to you and whenever you're ready, just give me a call." And with that, she was gone.
I turned and ran out of the office as quickly as possible, my destination irrelevant. I ran through the halls, past my next class, not stopping for anything. As I ran, my mind was spinning—just as the office had been earlier.
I can't get adopted, I thought. I can't move homes.
Plus, I concluded, I have friends, right? I don't need a family: my friends are there for me. They care.
As I stopped running, I found myself in the middle of a nearby forest, surrounded by trees and wide open spaces. As I gazed around I noticed a nest in a nearby tree, holding two baby birds. I watched as the birds stretched out their necks, awaiting their mother's return.
This fascinating part of nature continued to play out as I looked on.
When was the last time I needed someone? I thought to myself. Perhaps the better question was, When was the last time someone needed me?
With that final thought, my knee's buckled beneath me. I collapsed, and began to cry uncontrollably for countless reasons.
I curled my body like a small cat, and closed my eyes. The ground was damp, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore—everything was going to change.
My name is Penthesilea Black. I go by my middle name, Kestrel. I've lived at Spence Academy [No, I did NOT take this from the Gemma Doyle books!!] since I was 6 years old. My mother died 10 years ago, when I came here, and my father is lost to the world.
Sometimes I dream about my father, even though I never met him. I imagine him on a bed of poppies. Silly, right?
And, no, Spence is not a orphanage. It is a boarding school that takes in children with no family on scholarship and provides food and board for them. Simple as that.
I am one of three orphans at Spence. The other two are Campbell and Carly Rodriguez.
During lunch, I told my best friend Cody about the woman who came for me, Sheila Meyers, and he turned white.
"You shouldn't go with her, Kes," he told me.
"I know…but I've never really had a family before. She's giving me a chance to, you know, have one."
"You can't just leave! Summer break starts in two days—you can come with me to my camp."
"Sure. Thanks, Codster."
Cody was a weird dude. He was an inch shorter than me and had a leg disorder that got him out of PE, but always managed to outrun me at lunchtime.
I don't know how he did academically, but I stink. I'm dyslexic and have ADHD. Dyslexic, ADHD, orphan, oh my!! Wow, that was really lame.
But you, whoever you are, should know something.
I, like many orphans, have had a very troubled past. My mom did not make much money at her job at the local diner. I grew up in a small town in Colorado, living above the diner my mom worked at. The owner, Reneé, sent me to Spence where her sister was principal.
Nothing had ever gone right for me. The best I can do is sleep it off and pretend my life is better than this.
I'm waiting for my mom to come home from the bar. She spends most of her time there. My arms still stung and my eye ached from the last time.
I hear a car door slam. Boots pounding up the stairs. I flatten myself against the wall, hoping she won't see me. I'm scared. Tears race down my cheeks.
I sniffle. She turns toward me. My mom curses and lifts me onto my feet. She hits me and says it's all my fault. Everything is my fault.
She loosens her grip and I run for the door. It's locked. She grabs we and throws me against the door. I'm crying harder now.
"I'm sorry!" I scream over and over.
She slaps me again and I fall to the floor. I scream for her to please stop. She doesn't hear me. She hits me again, my bones start to crack.
As she throws against the wall, I hear sirens. Within seconds, the police drag my mom out of the apartment. I lie there, waiting in pain. Screams fill my ears and I hear someone barking out orders.
A gunshot.
Someone lifts me off the floor.
The last thing I see is the picture of my brother on the nightstand. Then everything goes black.
I wake up, drenched in sweat. There are reasons we call some dreams nightmares. If you must know, that just so happens to have been the night my mom died.
I broke my arm, got a black eye, and countless bruises. I was almost dead when the police came. There's something that haunted me about that dream.
It's all my fault. Everything is my fault.
I killed her.
"Kes! Kestrel! Penthesilea!"
"I'm coming, Cody! Hold your horses."
I ran out of the building, but instantly regretted it when I was hit with a cold, hard snowball.
I laughed and tried to throw a snowball, by my old canvas pack I used as a backpack slid down my arm. I winced. My arm hurt really bad.
"Ow." I muttered.
"What's up?" Cody asked, running over.
"My arm hurts. It's like I've been—" like I've been thrown against a wall.
"What's up with your eye? It looks pretty hurt."
I touched my eye and gasped at the pain.
No way, I thought. This isn't possible.
"Kes?"
"Oh, yea. I—I fell of my bed in the middle of the night. W—we should be going."
"Ok…" he said, still unsure.
I put on a smile. "C'mon."
"So, this camp. It's for kids like me? Like, ADHD and Dyslexia."
"Yea. You'll see when you get there."
"See what? I might as well know now. You can't postpone the inevitable."
He stared to say something, but I couldn't hear. For some reason, my attention was captured by a guy in the front of Greyhound bus, sleeping.
And that's when I was pulled in.
I materialized next to the guy. He was on a rock in the middle of the sea. On one side of him was a woman (his wife) and a (his) kid. On the other was another woman, only younger and more slut-ish (the "other woman").
He was startled to see me, but he looked so sad.
"Are you my guardian angel? Are you here to help me decide?"
"Umm," I thought. "Yes. Yes I am."
"Well, what should I do?" He begged.
I know I should be like the real guardian angels from the movies and give him a complicated explanation that he will soon take to heart and chose what is right. But this isn't that kind of movie. It's the movie that will never be made where the angel tells him what to do.
"You're being a jackass," I started. "You have a wife. I think it's obvious you should dump Blondie over there and head home. Look at it this way, which one is move likely to love you if you go broke? Which one will willingly make you your favorite breakfast before work? Which one do you love more?"
He looked up at me again and smiled.
"Thanks. Thanks a lot."
I faded out of the dream.
"Kes? KES?" Cody asked, shaking my shoulder.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, must have dozed off there. How long was I out?"
He looked at me curiously.
"Only a second. So do you really want to know?"
"No, I just asked to know to start up a conversation." I said sarcastically.
"Hey, driver. When's the next bus to Silver Springs?" A recognizable voice came from the front of the bus.
"'Bout an 'af hour, sir." The bus driver said.
The man from the dream turned around at me and winked. I smiled back.
"What was that?" Cody wondered.
"Just someone I know."
"So, tell me all about this camp."
By the time we arrived at camp, I knew everything. This camp, Camp Half-Blood, was a training ground for demigods. Demigods are children who have one parent who is a Greek god.
I had also learned that Cody was a satyr, a goat-boy hybrid, and that when he is really hungry, he can eat 3 tins cans. AT THE SAME TIME!!
"There's tons of cool kids here. You'll have a friend in no time."
"And weird things happen to these kids, too?"
"Totally. If you want weird, you should meet Percy Jackson. He's as weird as you can get."
In half an hour, we were at a hill that hid the camp from view.
And in that moment, my entire life changed.
"You can go to the Hermes cabin, over there. That's where the undecided go. It's already past lights-out, so you should be heading over there. I called ahead, so they should have a bunk ready for you. See ya in the morning."
I muttered a quiet "see ya" and tip-toed into the Hermes cabin. Almost all the kids were still up.
"Humph," one guy muttered as I walked in. "Thought they already rounded up all the newbies. I'm Jasper."
"Kestrel," I whispered.
I quietly set up my bunk. For the first time on months, I had nothing to say. Usually I had an answer to a question or at least a snappy comeback. But now, nothing.
I decided the best thing to do was go to sleep.
I have a knack for sleep. I can sleep ANYWHERE. I bet I could fall asleep bungee jumping. Not that I would ever want to.
But tonight the dream came fast.
"You're just a little witch," she spat at me. "Always thinking about yourself!"
She hit me.
"All your fault!"
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
"You did this to me! I hate you!"
All my fault. Everything's my fault.
"You killed me!"
Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap.
"Just a little baby!"
Bye-bye.
I woke up, nearly screaming. My cheeks and arm throbbed.
I was gasping for air.
When it all passed, I looked out the window into the night. The moon was high.
But then I saw something. Something that will haunt me forever.
Glowing blue eyes. Her blue eyes.
All your fault.
