Always
It was his fault. If he had been better at saying how he felt, then he might have been able to stop it from being this way.
"I..." America started, breaking England and France's attention. England jumped away from France.
"It-it's not the way it looks," England stuttered.
"I-I love you!" America shouted, then turned and ran out the door. Even though he was not good at saying how he felt, this had not been the way he had thought it would turn out. He had planned to tell England how he felt, and he had managed it. But he had apparently been too late. Someone had beat him to it. He passed a picture of England and him when America was a colony.
I wish we had never changed. Our lives are so different now, America thought.
I wish I were France.
"America!"
"England. You just broke his heart. It won't be that easy to make him forget," France said, coming up behind England and hugging him.
"Lem'me go."
Cold
"I'm sorry."
"For what? Tearing my entire life apart? Not even thinking about my feelings?"
"I...I can't help what I was. I can but apologize for today."
"You're too late."
"I didn't know it would hurt so much! I didn't know that I would be hurting you!"
"You started a war, but didn't stop to think that maybe it would hurt me in the process?" England asked, tears going down his cheeks. He turned his head away from America. America got up and tried to comfort England by pulling England into a hug.
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I realize you are angry. My actions were screwed up, but I did have my own reasons," America whispered into England's ear.
"I-I can't forgive you."
Last Words
"Where is he?" England asked the nurse. She pointed to a room down the hall, and England ran to the room.
America was currently in a comatose state after being hit by a car when he had tried to get England out of the way. England was just now getting here because he had been detained by the police, who wanted to know what happened.
"America," England said to the comatose man in the hospital bed, "I... the doctors aren't sure you will make it. I just want to thank you. And to tell you...I love you."
"You're welcome," America said, waking up. England jumped. He hadn't realized he had woken up. "I know I'm not going to last much longer, so I need to tell you something. I am sorry that I hurt you so much. I'm sorry that all the times that I was with you, we were fighting instead of being friends. And last... I love you too."
"You shouldn't say that. You will survive! I know it," England said, more to comfort himself than America. America reached out his hand grabbed England's hand.
"Iggy. Please. I don't want to see you in Heaven too soon. So take care of yourself." A tear rolled down America's face.
"I-" England was cut off by the sound of the monitor flat-lining. Tears started running down his face in streams.
"Goodbye."
White Horse
"I should have known he wasn't the one," England sobbed to Japan. Japan patted England's back, but otherwise let him continue his sobbing. "He just seemed so nice. He seemed like he was going to sweep me off my feet like a princess. I find that my problem is that I am not a princess. And he was no knight on a white shining steed that was going to catch me.
"England, you have always believed in fairytales, and that is your downfall. But believing in happy endings is not bad," Japan tried to comfort England. England looked up.
"You're right, Japan. I shouldn't be looking for a fairytale when this is the real world. I am still stuck in a world where knights do exist," England continued, though he seemed a bit calmer now.
"You don't need a knight. You need a gentleman who is willing to catch you when you do fall. And then continue to support you after you fall," Japan told England. England looked up at Japan.
"Someone like you, Japan," England commented. Japan blushed.
"No! I-I..."
"You caught me when I fell. And you are still supporting me," England said to him.
"You're correct, but I..."
"Don't like me that way?"
"Of course I do! I mean...Oh, I just don't want to let you down," Japan told England.
"As long as you stay my friend, you will never let me down."
"I-Of course, England. I will always support you," Japan stammered out, blushing.
"Thank you."
How Far We've Come
"If I were to show a younger version of me what the world is like now, I would be appalled," England told America, who currently had his arm wrapped around England.
"How so?" America asked him.
"The world has degenerated. There are no more gentlemen in the world. The crime..." England tried to continue, but America silenced him by putting his finger over his lips.
"I should be insulted. No more gentlemen in the world?" America teased.
"You know what I mean!" England said, blushing. "Well, if you have such a different opinion, then what is it?"
"The world might not be in peace, and not everyone might be happy, but I don't think that was the way it was back when you were younger. I think the advances in the world are impressive, and a younger me would be very happy at the position I'm in now," America told England, hugging him closer.
"I agree with the last part,"England started, blushing, then continued, "but still, don't you think it was better when there was a code of chivalry?"
"There still is one today, and if I could think of it, there are probably exceptions, even then."
"There are so many wars now. Don't you think the world is heading in a bad direction?"
"Not entirely. Look at the masses dedicated to world peace, and trying to feed the hungry."
America and England stared at each other for a long while. Then England broke his gaze, to look up at the sky, and clouds floating lazily across. America leaned back as well.
"I guess that we should just agree to disagree, shouldn't we?"
Thinking of You
He told me to move on. There are so many more people to love. But I- well I just don't think there was any comparison to America. Especially not Canada.
They might have been brothers, but they were so much different. Whereas America would have pulled him into the candy shop and begged him to buy him some candy, Canada would merely look longingly at the store for a couple seconds, then continue walking. When I was with America, I was in for plenty of arguments, but when I was with Canada, Canada would do anything that I wanted.
You'd think that I would like it better. Anyone would think so.
But when we pass the candy shop, and Canada doesn't try to pull me in, I wonder what was wrong with him. I silently will Canada to fight back when I ask him to do something he would rather not do. He never does.
When I kiss Canada, all I can see is America's lively blue orbs, instead of Canda's docile blue eyes. I can't be with him and not think about America. I can't help but feel dirty when I am with Canada, knowing that I do not care for him the way he cares for me.
Because when I am with Canada, the only thing I can think of is America.
Everything I'm Not
Japan was, admittedly, almost perfect. Almost. He was nice and caring. He didn't let emotions get in the way of his work, but he did not blind himself from the feelings of others. Sure, he was not one to be able to take casual touches very well, and he was socially awkward. But that didn't mean that he didn't try to perfect his flaws. He was trying.
England on the other hand, was not that way. He lost his temper sometimes, and he got into fights quite a bit. He got drunk too easily. He fancied himself a gentleman, but honestly he was nothing but a potty-mouthed pirate. He held grudges too long, and he had trouble dealing with his feelings. He was trying to be more perfect. More like Japan.
Because that was the kind of guy America wanted. And England desperately wanted to get it right. But he was failing, big time. America didn't seem to know that was what he wanted, but England knew. He could tell.
And that was tearing the two of them apart. America was too good for England. That was why Japan was better for him.
Because England was tired of pretending to be something that he very obviously was not.
Even if he really did love America.
So Far Away
Over the years, America and England had grown apart. That rift intensified after the Revolutionary War, and they continued to grow apart. Neither of them wanted to admit that they had been wrong.
So they grew even farther apart. Ever still.
America blamed England for being stifling, and not letting him have more freedom. England just wanted America to be a loyal subject, like all the rest of his colonies.
Now they barely recognized each other. America was no longer the little boy that England called his little brother. England was no longer the supporting guardian that he had calling his older brother.
America was now a bustling country, full of people and things, and he had amounted to be a very big country. England was no longer the big kingdom it had been.
And the rift grew ever bigger.
The faded pictures in the attic reflected people who were no longer real. They had changed, and they would never revert back to their former selves.
The rift grows bigger still.
Because, in the end, neither of them was wrong.
Remember the Name
America was no longer the little boy that he had been. He had worked and sweated to pull himself up, and to become the powerful country that he was now. Now he was worth England's respect.
Getting to where America was now was not easy.
It took luck, to be able to get that far. Not any old country could manage what America had. England knew.
It also took skill. Because you couldn't get where he was by just blundering around without really knowing what he was doing. America was skilled enough to become a world superpower.
You had to want to be a powerful country, too. You had to really want it. The power of your will must be strong enough to manage to drag him up to the point.
It was pleasureful, getting to that point in your life. It was nice to be powerful. To be a name worth remembering.
It was also painful. It wasn't all roses and daisies. You had to go through so many wars, and you had to be willing to fight for your status. To become a powerful country you had to fight. And you had to bleed. And you had to cry.
America bore no resemblance to the boy that England had taken care of.
But he was a man that England found hard to forget.
Check Yes Juliet
Plonk. Plonk. Plonk.
"What is it? And can't you use a bloody door like a regular person?" England said when he pulled open his window. America was standing outside on the sidewalk, getting ready to swing another pebble.
"This is how they do it in the romance movies, that's why," America explained to England.
"Well, what do you want?" England asked, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Come outside with me. Let's take a walk," America told him, and England sighed.
"At this time of night?"
"That's what makes it romantic."
England closed his window and was outside soon afterward, the night air hiding his blush. America took England's hand and pulled him down the sidewalk. He found a place that looked like it had been well traveled in the forest, and pulled England in.
"Where-" he began to ask, but America hushed him.
"It's a surprise," America told him. That was when they came out into a clearing with a clear blue pond in the middle, and the trees parted just enough to see the stars. "Tada!"
"It's beautiful," England said, then America pulled him over to sit next to the pond. America pulled off his shoes and stuck his feet in the water, then motioned for England to do so too. England copied him, and they both lay back and looked at the stars. Just as England was about to fall asleep, he felt something land in his lap. He looked at America, but he looked like he had not seen anything. England opened the note, and looked at what it said.
On the note, written very clearly in America's messy handwriting, was a question, followed by a box with the word yes next to it, and the other had a box with no next to it. The question was: Do you like me?
England looked around, not having anything to write with, as he guessed he would follow along with America's attempt at being romantic. He found a pen laying discreetly next to America, that he had obviously placed there. He picked it up and quickly checked yes, blushing furiously, then threw the paper at America.
America looked at the paper, and England could slowly feel America's excitement becoming obvious. America jumped up and hugged England.
"You're a hopeless romantic, you know?"
"And you love me that way."
A/N: Artists are in the order they are listed: Bon Jovi, Crossfade, Thousand Foot Krutch, Taylor Swift, Matchbox 20, Katy Perry, The Veronicas, Crossfade, Fort Minor, We the Kings
I really need less breakup-type songs. I don't like making it anti USUK.
R&R
