If It Were Me
Disclaimer: All characters affiliated with House, M.D. are property of David Shore and Fox, along with episode plotlines.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chameron, Chase/Cam
Post The Greater Good
Cameron leaned her head back against the glass wall, coffee cup in her hand. Her head was pounding and swimming with confusing numbers of thoughts. She heard the squeak of sneakers on the hard floor and opened her eyes to find Chase standing over her, arms crossed over his scrub top.
"Can I join you?" he asked tentitively, knowing that there were times when his girlfriend needed to be alone. It was nothing against him, just in her nature.
Cameron nodded silently and held up the coffee cup.
"You look exhausted," she commented, a small smile playing on her lips. She patted the bench her and Chase took a seat, picking the cup out of her outstretched hand. "Setting the alarm slightly earlier to shave might not be a bad idea."
She reached up and touched the stubble on his cheek, smirking slightly. Chase wrapped his hand over her own.
"Well, if someone didn't snore..." he teased, the both knowing very well that Chase slept through anything.
"That's right, it's all my fault," Cameron said, taking her hand away from his face, still clasped, to the bench. "But really, you look tired."
Chase shrugged and ran his free hand through his consistently unruly hair.
"Back to back surgeries, one code, Foreman and Thirteen's issues," Chase listed. "It's been a long day."
"On all sides," Cameron added. "I was just with him, actually. He's taking this pretty hard."
"He messed up and he knows it," Chase said. "I'd be feeling guilty too."
"It's more than that," Cameron replied. .
"I told him it would be stupid," Chase said. "I did, you did. What's more?"
"Maybe the fact that Thirteen is lying there with a tumor, blind, and the guilt that it is his fault, or so he thinks?" Cameron reminded. "I'd be a wreck; medically, he screwed up, and a close friend is living the mistakes?"
"It is his fault though. He knew switching her off the placebo without the okay from any authoritative figure was bound to have some negative effects."
"He was prepared for that, I think. It's more. It's her."
"Her? As in Thirteen her?"
"He cares about her!" Cameron cried quietly, careful to not disturb the going ons of the hospital hallway. "He let the feelings cloud the medicene and that's what he's beating himself up over."
"So you're saying that if were any other patient who he just switched and said patient developed the same symptoms, the guilt wouldn't be as great?" Chase's brow furrowed in confusion. "Is that just chick logic or...?"
Cameron, even as serious as she was feeling as the slightly defensive nature the conversation had taken, had to smile.
"Maybe it's just the way I see it," she agreed. "Think about it, though. Would he have asked you, me, and anyone else he had gone to for advice on a medical matter? He thinks to highly of himself as a doctor to ever do that."
Chase nodded as the words sank in.
"Two weeks have clearly not been just a trial run," I said.
"Trial run of the relationship?" Cameron raised a questioning eyebrow. "If that's what you want to call it."
"No, sorry, that came out wrong." Chase took a deep breathe and gathered his thoughts collectively before rephrasing, "Usually two weeks into something, it's still testing the water of a relationship. Clearing with him, he's past testing; he's there."
Cameron looked up in surprised amusement and slight awe.
"Deep," she commented. "For you, anyway. Since you have never really 'tested the waters,' having just slept with me, the whole no-strings-attached, and then my turning up on your doorstep and all."
"Yeah, we've never really been the conventional couple," Chase agreed. "We did test the comfortability of sleeping in my entryway-"
"Sh!" Cameron looked, blushing, checking to make sure no prowling ears-House!- were lurking by. Satisfied that no one had heard, she turned back to Chase.
"My point," she said, turning to the conversation back to the relevant point, "is that this is definitely affecting Eric on all levels. And I'm feeling helpless."
"It's not your job to help him here, Ali," Chase reminded gently, putting a hand on her forearm. "I'm not sure if you can."
Cameron nodded, clearly frustrated that she couldn't.
"I just hate standing by and watching someone I care about hurt," she pouted, folding her arms over her scrub top. "I'd know I'd want someone there for me."
"Foreman's not you," Chase consoled. "He deals with things alone, stoically. It's just who he is."
Cameron shook her head, more tendrils falling loose from the elastic holding a ponytail in place.
"Just try to put yourself in his position," she nearly whispered, looking up at her boyfriend. "Standing by, nearly helpless, while someone you cared about so much lay sick, maybe dying. I'd be going crazy with stress, worry."
"I wouldn't have switched the drug," Chase put in. "Then none of this would have happened."
"That's more point!" Cameron said, her arms falling to her sides, useless to help her make her point. "Imagine it was me who was sick. Would your medical rational be your first thought or would making me healthy and well again be?"
She stared at him, her face almost helpless, as if she was picturing the situation in her head. Chase met her gaze, his heart pumping faster as he saw the pain flash across her face, waiting for his response. It was so rare that she questioned him like this, dealing in what-ifs. It was something Cameron never did, questions she usually kept to herself.
"If it was you?" Chase repeated. Cameron nodded.
"If you knew I was on the placebo, would you let me go and not compromise the trial, as you're saying you would do, what you, what we all, advised Foreman to do, or would you try to help me?"
Chase met her gaze before looking down at their still intertwined hands. He tried to imagine Cameron lying where Thirteen was, helpless, the knowledge that the precious years he had left with her were ticking by. It was hard to imagine and it hurt to, as Cameron was rarely seen so vulnerable. The only time Chase could think of where it had hurt him to see her was after they had slept together the first time, watching her sleep fitfully, the drugs wearing off, seeing her contorted face as she tossed and turned. It was a night that haunted him, wondering if she was dreaming of regret. He had just wanted to take her pain away, to go back. He had wanted to help her initially, his instincts as a medical practitioner kicking in when he found her high, but as soon as he heard her plead, all thoughts of rational disappeared, replaced with only the need to make her happy, to make her Cameron.
"I'd switch it," Chase murmured, nearly incoherent. He spoke louder, his voice sure, squeezing Cameron's hand and meeting her gaze. "I'd switch it. I'd do anything to make you well again. To make you the feisty, pain in the ass I'm in love with."
Cameron let out a small laugh at his description of her, her voice fading though as she leaned into him. Chase knew this was rare for Cameron; she never like to bring their relationship to the forefront of the hospital's knowledge.
"When I thought I was infected," she mumbled into his chest, Chase resting his chin on the crown of her head, "I felt awful for what I had done. I felt sick that I had possibly brought that on you."
"I was more worried about you," Chase admitted. "I knew I could deal; enough shit had already happened in my life as it was. But you...I knew you would break."
Cameron looked up at him, shifting both of their positions.
"You were really more worried about me?" she questioned, her tone turning to near disbelief, to a tone she used with House when he was having a humane moment.
Chase shrugged.
"Sure. You would have been crushed if you had had it. I saw you those weeks before your appointment and I didn't like it. Panicky Cameron isn't a pretty one."
"You should see me when a patient is in surgery," she joked. "If I don't have any other blood, broken bones, or suchering to worry about, I pace around a total mess."
"I'm usually the one in with your patient," Chase reminded. "Why would you be worried?"
The slightly egotistical comment earned him a slap on the chest. A silence hung between the two for a moment before Cameron asked, confused, "Why did Foreman act then?"
"Huh?"
"You told him it was stupid, I did, I'm sure everyone else did," she concurred. "So why did he act? Who would have enough influence to tell him do something so insanely risky and stupid?"
Both blonds furrowed their brow in thought before Chase rolled his eyes, Cameron's mouth fell open, and they locked gazes.
"House."
"House!"
The two had to laugh; their boss was the only person alive who would suggest such a feat. Neither was sure what had been said, but both were confident it had swayed Foreman to the point of action.
"House."
I was so excited to see the response to my last story and I have made a really cool writing choice that I'm looking forward to. After every episode of House, I will now post a Chameron oneshot, sometimes long, like the first, maybe longer, or shortish, like this one. But always expect a fic by Thursday at latest. I'm SO looking forward to it.
Chase and Cam weren't in this episode, but all of my scenerios will not be ones that have taken place in the episode. The details of the episode will be implied, but the scene will be my own.
David Shore had said that towards the latter part of this season and the next season shall bring our favorite couple back into the limelight, but, until then, I will write and I hope you will read. I was so excited to see a review from a fave Chameron author and I hope that person will continue their work and continue to read mine, for the comments are much appreciated.
Let me know how you have liked this piece, as it wasn't written in first person, just third. Cameron first person is easy and I may challenge myself with a Chase one, but only one I get into a steady flow. Review, please, and comment honestly. I love to know what you all think.
Much love- youMEANeverything14
