A/N: Written as a gift for fredbassett on LJ, who betas for me. She asked for Ryan/Lester, 'Remind me why I put up with you again?' Sort of a follow-up to my previous Ryan/Lester fic, "The Distance Between Wanting and Having", but it's not necessary to have read that to understand this. Title is from THC.
You Might Become Something I Need
Ryan was sitting in the break room in the Home Office after finishing up a report to send to Lester when Stephen strolled in, sprawling down into a chair. "Ryan."
"Hart."
Stephen was leaning his chair so far back on its rear legs that Ryan was worried it was going to topple over. "Have you seen Lester recently?"
Not since they'd fucked in the showers last night, but that was probably more information than Stephen was looking for. "Not today, no."
"You might want to go and talk to him," Stephen suggested and it was so obvious he was trying to sound nonchalant that Ryan knew he genuinely wanted Ryan to speak to Lester.
Sod it all. What had Lester done now?
Ryan eyed Stephen with suspicion. "Why?"
"Because he's in an absolutely foul mood and he's taking it out on us. He really gives new meaning to the term 'acid tongue'."
"And what makes you think I can do anything about it?"
The front legs of Stephen's chair hit the ground with a thud. "I sure as hell know no one else has a chance of it. I'm pretty sure Connor almost cried after Lester was through with him."
Ryan sighed and stood up. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be a sacrificial lamb. "I'll talk to him."
He was nearly into the corridor when Stephen called after him. "You haven't been holding out on him, have you? Blue balls can make a man do terrible things."
Ryan gave him the finger and walked away to the sound of Stephen's laughter. He trudged along the now familiar path to Lester's office, wondering if perhaps Stephen had been exaggerating. Probably unlikely.
Outside of Lester's closed door, Ryan squared his shoulders and rapped twice.
"Enter," Lester's voice drifted out.
"Sir," Ryan said, stopping a short distance away from the desk.
"Captain Ryan, just the man I wanted to see." Lester folded his arms in front of him, not looking nearly as pleased as his words indicated. "Would you be so kind as to explain why your report is only one paragraph long?"
"I thought you wanted me to be succinct."
Lester looked at him for a moment before pulling open a drawer and removing a book, which he held up for Ryan to see. "Do you know what this is, Captain?"
"I believe that's what is referred to as a dictionary, sir."
"And what is a dictionary for?"
"Telling you what words mean."
"Very good. If it wouldn't be too intellectually taxing, I would encourage you to acquaint yourself with it. I'm fairly certain you'll discover that succinctness does not excuse the handing in of a report that a six-year-old could write better. For God's sake, I'd even prefer Temple's rambling to what you gave me, which amounts to, 'Saw a dinosaur, shot it, anomaly closed.'"
"In my defense, sir, I did communicate the relevant information." And he had the real report typed up and ready to be sent. He'd only wanted to enjoy Lester's reaction first - unfortunately, it seemed he had chosen the wrong day for a joke.
Lester sighed and bowed his head, his hands coming up to rub circles at his temples.
Ryan felt a twinge of guilt at the poor timing of what he'd meant as a bit of silly amusement. He hadn't meant to cause Lester any stress. He stepped closer to the desk, fairly certain that he had a fair idea of what was behind Lester's behaviour. "Are you coming down with something?"
"I feel fine."
"That's odd because you sound like you've got a handful of tissues stuffed up your nose."
Raising his head, Lester gave Ryan a severe glare. "Then clearly you need your eyes examined, Captain, because I assure you that I have not."
"I meant it metaphorically, sir," Ryan said blandly, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.
"Don't patronise me."
"If you're ill, don't you think it would be for the best to go home and get some rest? You don't want to make things worse by overtaxing yourself. Besides, you're of little use to anyone in this state." Ryan winced. That was pushing it. He knew he had said too much.
Lester's tone could have curdled milk. "If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. I don't need a soldier to tell me how to do my job."
"I would never presume to do that, sir. I was only thinking of your well-being."
"Well, kindly refrain from doing so. I know my own limits better than you do."
Ryan felt rather like he had backed himself into a corner. He would never be able to convince Lester to have an early night now and he probably wouldn't be able to get Lester to do anything. Bollocks. Well, he had tried to tell Stephen there was little chance of success.
Still, Ryan wasn't ready to admit defeat just yet. "Have you had your lunch break yet, sir?"
"No."
"Then would you mind terribly spending a moment of it with me now? I have something I'd like to show you."
Lester narrowed his eyes. "Is that a euphemism?"
"I suppose you'll have to come with me if you want to find out."
"Oh, all right," Lester said, giving Ryan his best put-upon expression.
"Thank you, sir." Ryan was careful not to let his smile show on his face, instead keeping his appearance neutral. He led Lester through the Home Office to a mostly deserted corridor, checking the area quickly before opening a nondescript door and ushering Lester inside. He switched on the light and closed the door firmly behind them.
"This is a broom cupboard," Lester said, tone dripping with disgust.
"I had noticed that, but thank you for pointing it out."
"Why have you brought me to a broom cupboard?"
"I should think that was obvious."
Lester looked appalled. "In a broom cupboard? You've gone mad."
"Stephen said you nearly made Connor cry," Ryan said, deciding he might as well go all in. There was no point faffing about.
"Oh, so it's my fault the boy can't take a bit of criticism?" At Ryan's look, Lester gave a small sigh. "All right, all right, I may have been slightly too harsh. But I don't see how that has anything to do with you wanting to have sex in here."
Ryan shook his head, mouth tilting down into a frown. "Really, James, I'm disappointed. It's all very simple. You won't go home but you can't keep going on like you have."
"So you're offering yourself up on a silver platter in an attempt to improve my behaviour?"
"That's about the measure of it, yeah."
Lester scowled. "I won't be treated like a child, not even by you. Especially not by you."
"Believe me, James, if I were treating you like a child I'd be using a completely different method to put you in a better mood."
"Then maybe you had better try that because I'm not feeling at all inclined to sleep with you. I'm too annoyed."
"I'd never have guessed." Though, honestly, Ryan felt that he had far more reason to be annoyed than Lester did. It was probably a bad sign that mostly what he felt was affection, slightly exasperated affection and a desire to help.
The way Lester could manage to give the appearance of looking down his nose at Ryan despite the disparity in their heights was rather impressive. "Sarcasm, Captain? I believe that's my area of expertise. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."
"Remind me again why I put up with you?"
Lester shrugged his shoulders, making even that seem almost elegant. "You're a masochist who likes being on the receiving end of the cutting nature of my witty repartee?"
"I don't think that's why." At least not the masochist part. The rest of it was debatable, a fact which Ryan was not altogether pleased about.
"Hm." Lester tapped his finger against his chin. "Because I look so dashing in a suit?"
Ryan considered that. "That's a contributing factor at least."
"I'm sure I've got it this time. It's because of how I look out of a suit."
"Yes, I think that's it exactly." Ryan went up to Lester, sliding his hand into Lester's suit jacket to wrap around his torso, settling against the small of his back. He rested his other hand on the jut of Lester's hip. "If you let me get you out of it now, it might help me to remember that I actually like you."
But Lester pushed him away. "I can't even breathe through my nose. Though, granted, that may be a blessing in here."
"Actually, it smells quite clean. A bit dusty, maybe. Anyway, you'll feel better, I promise. Ditzy swears by it."
"Ditzy prescribes a wank for everything."
"He gets good results, too."
"I have to go back to work," Lester protested, but it was half-hearted at best. Ryan knew there had been next to no chance that Lester would actually turn him down and that he was only keeping up appearances. God forbid Lester admitted to wanting Ryan. "I can't have a mess."
Ryan smirked and dropped to his knees. "I can guarantee you that there will be absolutely no mess."
Lester sighed and brushed his fingers through Ryan's hair. "You make a compelling argument."
"I do my best, sir," Ryan said and lowered the zip of Lester's trousers, freeing his cock. He took his time at first, teasingly wrapping his lips around only the head, curling his tongue.
"Ryan," Lester urged, clutching Ryan's head.
So Ryan pulled off completely, working his hand slowly around the shaft. "Sir," he said, grinning upwards while Lester glowered at him.
Lester yanked Ryan's head forward into his crotch and Ryan couldn't help chuckling. "For someone who was so adamantly against this you're being quite impatient now."
"Just shut up and do it," Lester said, very nearly a whine. "You promised me amazing results and I simply want to see if you'll prove as good as your word."
"I always do," Ryan said and then obligingly put his mouth to better use. He'd done this enough by now to know what Lester liked and he was putting all his practice into play now. He was determined to give Lester one spectacular blow job.
Breathy little moans were falling from Lester's lips, his nails scraping against Ryan's scalp. Lester making noise was always a good sign, it meant he was letting himself go. Ryan tightened the grip he had on Lester's hip with one hand, using the other to tease Lester's balls between his fingers.
"God, Ryan," Lester said, thrusting forward with his hips in sharp, urgent movements and then Ryan was swallowing around him as he climaxed.
The forceful hold Lester had on Ryan's head thankfully slackened and Ryan sucked at the head of his cock, swallowing the warm fluid quickly. He licked away every last bit of Lester's come with the ragged sound of Lester's breathing in his ears. When he raised his eyes, he saw that Lester had reached a hand out to brace himself against the shelving.
He carefully tucked Lester back into his trousers. No mess, just as he'd promised. Ryan prided himself on always doing exactly what he said he would. He pressed the palm of his hand briefly to his own cock, hoping he wouldn't look too obvious walking in the corridor. It appeared he was going to have to have a wank in the toilet.
Ryan got back to his feet, adjusting himself as he did so, and then brushed Lester's hair back from his face. A few beads of sweat had broken out on his forehead but he looked much, much happier than when Ryan had first entered his office.
Stephen will be so pleased, Ryan thought with not a little amusement. Stephen would also probably be able to easily come to the proper conclusion as to Ryan's methods, but what the hell. Ryan certainly wasn't going to let that bother him - he had long since stopped caring about what other people said about him.
Ryan tugged Lester forward into his arms, Lester going quite willingly. He was utterly relaxed in the way he really only was after sex, content to let Ryan hold him for a bit without making a fuss about it. The way Ryan's tac vest was digging into Lester's chest couldn't have been all that comfortable but Lester seemed to have an uncommon fondness for Ryan when he was done up in his kit.
Without warning, Lester snuck a hand between them and gripped Ryan's hard cock through the front of his combats.
"Fuck," Ryan swore. "You don't have to."
"Let me," Lester insisted. He worked open the zip and then those long, clever fingers were wrapping around Ryan's cock.
No point protesting now, Ryan decided.
Ryan knew it wouldn't take long and he just gave himself over to it, the feel of Lester's hand and the press of their bodies against each other. He closed his eyes and breathed, noting that Lester's hair smelled like mint. He came without fuss, muffling a groan against Lester's head. Lester stroked him slowly and gently through his orgasm, his other arm looped loosely around Ryan's waist.
Lester lifted up his hand, sticky with traces of Ryan's come on it, and then proceeded to suck each finger clean, his eyes on Ryan the whole time. "You know how much I hate mess," he said when he'd finished.
"Right," Ryan said, thinking he probably could have come just from watching that little display, and then looked at the floor. "I suppose it's lucky we're in a room filled with cleaning products." It was also lucky that Ryan hadn't splattered onto Lester's suit - he doubted Lester's newfound good mood would have excused that.
"Your foresight should be congratulated," Lester agreed and then handed a handkerchief to Ryan. "Clean yourself up."
Ryan ran the square of soft material over his cock and then righted his clothing. He crumpled the handkerchief in his hand, staring at it before glancing back to Lester. "Did you want it back?"
Lester wrinkled his nose. "Keep it. I'm feeling generous."
So Ryan tucked it into a pocket of his tac vest, hoping he would remember it was there. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, I think you've performed your duties admirably. Above and beyond the call of duty, really."
Ryan ducked his head in acknowledgement. "You know that I aim to please, sir, particularly in your case. But if you don't need me, I'll probably head back to base."
"All right."
"Uh, should I…"
Lester ran his hands over Ryan's arms, his gaze lowering to somewhere on Ryan's chest. "You probably shouldn't come over. I don't know that I'll be very good company and, well, there's the germs as well."
Ryan couldn't help but smile at that. "James, I've just had your cock in my mouth. I think worrying about germs is a moot point at this stage."
"Of course," Lester said and flashed Ryan a quick smile. "Still, though, I imagine you have better things to do with your time than play nursemaid."
"Yeah, maybe." There were a lot of things Ryan could have said but most of them made him feel uncomfortable just thinking them, so he squashed all of it. If all Lester wanted was a quick shag in the broom cupboard at work then that was all they would do. Ryan had time. They would figure out what this was eventually.
"Tom," Lester said, the rare use of Ryan's first name both unexpected and pleasing, an apology and a thank you in one.
"Yes?"
"You're right, it does smell a bit dusty in here."
Ryan laughed and kissed Lester's mouth. "I told you it would work."
End
