On an unrelated note, go on to You Tube and look up "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life". It's funny, I promise.


Alright, I, Light Yagami, (A.K.A. Kira, L, and the god of the new world) am tired of hearing the same questions over and over again. I mean, seriously, I've answered the same questions so many times I'm surprised that I haven't snapped yet and written every person who's asked me these questions name in the Death Note. So, in order to put an end to some of these questions and quell rumors that have been going around, I am going to answer these questions once and for all.

Number One: Did you kill Michael Jackson?

No, I didn't. Why would I? I mean, I don't think the guy is that good but I don't think he's that bad either. It was just simply a coincidence that he happened to die on the same day that an exponential number of criminals were executed by Kira. Besides, it's been proven at this point that the guy died of the drug Propofol, not a heart attack like it was initially reported. So please stop asking me this.

Number Two: Did you ever have homosexual feelings towards L/Mikami/Matsuda/Any Other Guy?

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not gay. I've never felt sexual attraction to any other male, ever. God, you spend three months handcuffed to another guy once and everyone just jumps to conclusions.

Number Three: Did you ever have sex with Ryuk?

One, that's disgusting. Two, it's against the Death Note rules. Three, you people must be deeply disturbed if you can even think of something like that.

Number Four: Did you ever have sex with Misa?

Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't in my position. Come on, I'm a normal heterosexual male who has urges and she's more than willing to take care of those urges. Besides, if I refused to have sex with her, there's a miniscule chance that she may eventually decide to leave and then I'd have to kill her and lose her eyes. I know, miniscule chance, but I don't want to risk that.

Number Five: Do you miss L?

Not really. What? He was in my way and I had to kill him, simple as that.

Number Six: Did anything else happen during your meetings with Takada?

Yeah, but it never got farther than third base.

Number Seven: Do you regret killing the people you've killed?

Nope.

Number Eight: Are you a sociopath?

That would be a question for a psychoanalyst.

Number Nine: If you could find a way to prevent killing a certain person, would you have?

No. Usually the non-criminals I've killed, I killed because they knew too much. You can't remove information from someone's brain (yet), so they had to be killed.

Number Ten: Do you like fish sticks?

I'm not falling for that joke again.

Those are all the questions I am tired of answering and if you ask me them one more time, I will write your name in the Death Note. That is your only warning.


Mostly written out of boredom. Probably OOC, but I don't care. I'm gonna lie down now. I have a headache in my eye and it's a little distracting.