It was a dark and stormy night….which is one of the most cliche and parodied lines in all of literature. I was leaning back in my chair when the storm hit, the rain splattering on the window. I hadn't really gotten any business. (Mostly because no one knows that I'm a detective in my spare time.)
Sora, what are you doing? Nothing, really. I've done nothing all week. That's great. Now please, give me my spot back. But narrator! I want to have a major role for once! Please, just this one time! Fine, but never again! The things I do for you people?
He stormed out. Not like I had really any care. But, my life and job would change forever when he came. He crashed through the door like a bullet. Now there was a big hole where the door was supposed to be. "What do you want, kid?" It was the scientist's kid. "Sora, who are you talking to? And why is everything in black and white? And why am I suddenly in a coat?"
That, my friend, is elementary. "Now, tell me what your problem is." Small stuff nearly exploded from all the stuff he was telling me. "A-and I had left it right there! But when I came back, it was gone! And it's also overdue! If Lavama finds out I lost it he's gonna kill me!" Oh, you mean that guy runs the town library too? "Oh no, MJ does. But I'm sure he'll get angry regardless!"
I knew what I had to do. I put on my trench coat and my pipe. (Which is family friendly, don't worry.) It was time to do some investigating.
I pulled the boy along and we set out into the cold, rainy, depressing, arbitrary- "Okay, enough adjectives!" …..night.
A sad look, a mad face,
Sometimes mistakes will happen
A teary face, a sour face
Those won't last forever
Hey! The feelings of a new beginning
Hey, hey! A magical adventure is starting
Yes, yes! Why not come with us?
Yes, yes! We can do everything!
Let's have a hug! Let's have a hug!
Everybody, everywhere, let's have a hug!
Let's have a hug, let's have a hug!
Everybody, everywhere, let's have a hug!
Sorakeyblade, Private Eye, and the Case of the Missing Library Book!
The kid took me to where he first left the library book. It was the doorstep to the mad scientist's house...there was electricity and sounds of crazed laughter from within. "Candy, why do you keep bringing homeless strangers to our house?" Hey! I am NOT homeless!
"Oh, he isn't homeless! This is Sora, dad. He's going to help me find my library book!" I began to wander away from the two, searching for any possible clues. "Well, don't let him wander off. I don't want him getting into anything on accident." Ugh, don't treat me like a dog. Whatever though, I found a clue.
"You did!?" The boy ran over and saw what I had picked up. It was…"It's my library card! I always like to use it as my bookmark, after all!" I looked at it closely, and dusted for fingerprints...but alas, I found none but the boy's own. "How do you even know what my fingerprints look like?" Err, narrator privileges.
We walked on over to the actual library itself, hoping we could find more clues there. "Hi MJ! Have you seen any person with an overdue library book?" MJ turned around to greet us before saying, "Not really anyone in particular, though your library book is overdue." Yes, we know that. It's missing. "Well, good luck in finding it!"
Why in the world would the culprit just go back to the library though? In hindsight, that wasn't exactly a good idea. "Maybe we could ask others if they've seen my book?" Well, it was the best shot we had, so I decided to give it a go. "Also, decide which point of view you're gonna take. You can't be 1st and 3rd at the same time!" Shut up, I'm the narrator and I do what I WANT-
Okay, enough of that. We started asking different members of the town, but they all provided the same answer. They either hadn't seen it, or didn't care enough to see it. "Well, that was absolutely pointless!" I pointed out. "We could always just go back to where I left it, maybe the culprit got guilty and dropped it off there!"
Nope, no book. That was a complete and utter waste of time. "At least we double checked! You can never be too sure!" It was late, I needed to sleep. It was a wonder there were still people out at this time...Regardless, we made our way over back to the office to think. "Now, where could that library book be? We've checked the scene of the crime, and asked all of the possible suspects!" The boy got an idea. "You know, you haven't said my name once this episode." For good reason.
"Anyways, I say we go back to the library...take a copy...and then swap it with a copy of the same book!" I hit his head with a thesaurus. Even he knew that it wouldn't work. "Yeah, that was a stupid idea. I dunno, I give up. I guess I'll just have to pay the replacement fee…" No, we will solve this case...and I reluctantly know just the guy…
"So, what you're saying is, you need my help in order to find a library book?" I nodded down shamefully. My former colleague, Azure, (who was also a gamer, conveniently enough) was willing to help us...albeit extremely confused. "Why a library book though? It's just a book, buy a replacement." No, we aren't going to stoop that low! "Will he be able to help us?" Sadly, yes, yes he probably will.
Unfortunately, we couldn't get anyone to talk to us for 2 seconds without them fainting at Azure's...appearance, I'll put it. "What can I say, it pays to have a pretty face." More like photoshopped to look better…"This beauty is all natural, punk." And then we got into a fist fight.
Excuse me, I'll be taking this narrator spot back, let's hurry this episode along, we've got 2 minutes left. Sora and Azure were..slugging it out, as Ray found Boo crawling out of the sewer. "What were you doing down there...did you manage to flush yourself down the toilet again!?" She nodded and then giggled. Ray blushed at the thought, and noticed something on her back.
"Hey, it's my library book! What were you doing with this?" She slid the book off of her back, and Ray picked her and the book up. "Well, this problem's been solved!" He took her and the book to the library to finally wrap up the case.
Meanwhile, Azure and Sora were still bickering. "Oh yeah!? Well at least I don't use toe jam as soap in the shower!" What cringingly bad insults. "You went too far, man!" They began to slug it out again. Their fighting caused a ruckus in the streets, creating all sorts of trouble for those who just wanted to go about their day. Well, some noir this turned out to be.
"Alright, that's enough!" MJ came out of the library and attempted to split up the fight, but instead got pushed aside by the flurry of fists. He had enough of this, and tapped into his main's power, pulling out a wand. Huh. I thought only fairies had those.
MJ lifted the two up, forcing them to stop fighting. "Hey, what are you doing!? Put us dow-" MJ slammed them together. "Why is it that most of the violence has to be directed towards me…?" Both Sora and Azure were in a daze.
MJ surveyed the damage that the two had caused during their brawl. "This is no good. You both will have to pay for the wreckage." Azure couldn't pay, he didn't really have a job since he quit being Sora's 'sidekick'. Sora was a detective in his spare time, he didn't really get money from it. "So basically, you're both broke." They nodded their heads. "Well, I have a proposal for you, then."
And so, to pay off the damage for the fighting, Sora and Azure had to work at the library, part time. "Not the worst job I could've gotten, but not exactly what I wanted to do with my life." Well, it's better than nothing.
Ray came in, with yet another case of a library book that was overdue being missing. Instead of Sora, however, MJ decided to help him this time. "Why not me?" You've proved you're an inept and inane detective, I'm sure MJ can do your job better.
MJ and Ray set out, to find yet another overdue library book!
Then again, buying another copy was only 50 cents….
Now in technicolor!
(Original Air Date: March 2nd, 2016)
