Author's Note: I wrote this because I saw a couple of stories with the 'Cat is Beck and Jade's daughter from the future' theory and thought it was a funny. :] So this is like that. But not.

This won't be long. Four chapters give or take. Just want to keep this as lighthearted as possible. :]

Also. This is my stab at humor. Let's see if I can do funny.

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Little Darling

...

It happens on a rather nondescript Monday morning. LA traffic is still horrendous. The queue at the Jet Brew near Hollywood Arts is as long as ever. The sky is still high above, where it is supposed to be and still very much intact. Except for perhaps the ozone layer. But that's beside the point. The point is, it's Monday and as Mondays go, this one isn't anything special.

Unless you count the hysterical crying echoing through the corridors of Hollywood Arts.

'For a minute there,' Tori muses in the awkward silence that suddenly blanketed their acting class, 'I thought it was Trina. But those tears actually sound real.'

'Well, for a minute there, I thought it was Robbie.' Andre points his thumb at his friend. 'But he's here.'

'Plus, it sounds like a... baby?' Sikowitz pulls his ear away from the door. 'A very loud baby. Would any of you like to assist this loud baby? And by assist, I mean, shut it up? It's ruining my coconut-induced visions.'

Gazes are automatically directed to the floor because, really, how is the prospect of having to calm down an obviously missing child in any way attractive? But the crying suddenly takes a turn for the worse and everyone winces the moment it reaches an incredible decibel. And, as if that isn't enough, that same noise appears to be moving closer to their classroom.

'Those are some powerful lungs.'

Sikowitz rubs his temples. 'Sinjin, please get out. You're not even in this class.'

'I vote Robbie.'

'Jade!' Robbie sputters, horrified.

'I vote Jade.'

Jade glares at Beck from over her shoulder. He's been very insistent on catching her attention these past few weeks after she'd stubbornly refused to speak to him about their breakup. All of his attempts have, thus far, been thwarted by either scathing looks, harsh denials or threats by sharp scissors.

'I vote you jump off a bridge,' she says with a smirk.

'My brother jumped off a bridge once,' Cat pipes up. But her reply goes unheeded as the class watches Jade turn to face Beck fully, her pierced eyebrow raised in challenge.

'I bet I can get more votes for you to jump off a bridge, Jade.' There's a smug look on Beck's face that no one really recognizes. This can't really be laid-back Beck, right? No, that Beck would be all 'Jade' in a condescending manner and then let the conversation die a silent death. This Beck, however, seems to enjoy prodding the potentially awful conversation with caustic remarks and sarcasm.

His grin grows as Jade's eyes narrow and her fists clench.

Cat whimpers.

Robbie squeaks.

It's at the tip of her tongue this vicious retort, but the look in his eyes tell her that he's all too prepared for that. Not wanting to let him find any victory in being childish (although, yes, she's the one who started it and yes, she may have caused it to become bigger than it was supposed to be), Jade stands and makes her way to the door.

She yells at Sikowitz to move as she approaches the door to which he jumps out of her way. Stomping outside and into the corridor, Jade finds herself standing in front of just about the cutest little boy she's ever seen. And she isn't one to call anything cute. Much less a human being. But he is with his riot of dark curls for hair and his honey skin. His chubby little hands rub at his eyes full of tears as he bawls his little heart out. And maybe (kind of sort of) she feels a little bad for the kid.

Maybe.

'Yo, where's your mom, dude?' Jade asks the same time someone comes up behind her.

'That's a bit of a stupid question, Jade. Obviously, he doesn't know or else he wouldn't be crying.'

Jade twirls on her heel to face her adversary (otherwise known as her ex-boyfriend, aka stupid Beck). 'Who are you calling stupid, stupid?'

She isn't given the satisfaction of an argument. Instead, Beck merely ignores her and pushes past her to kneel in front of the kid. 'Hey buddy,' he says softly, pulling the kid's hands away from his eyes, revealing bright blue eyes that are made especially startling by the amount of tears they hold. 'You okay?'

'That's supposed to be a better question?' Jade snorts and still she is ignored.

Stupid Beck.

Any and all thoughts on comeuppance flies out the window, however, when the little boy stares at Beck for a moment, mouth agape. The awe turns into pure, unadultered happiness and suddenly the kid flings his tiny arms around Beck's neck seemingly holding on for dear life.

'Daddy!' the little dude cries out in obvious relief.

Holy mother of chiz.

Beck Oliver is a dad?

'Oh, Beck,' Jade singsongs, 'You've got some 'splainin' to do.'

...

Author's Note: Here's a bit of trivia for you. I've obviously gacked that last night from 'I Love Lucy'... or did I? Apparently, Desi Arnaz's character Ricky Ricardo never said that line even once. :] Here's to my mother's DVD box set of I Love Lucy *loff*